Thursday, 26 November 2015

Arse Like The Japanese Flag

What does Christmas food mean to you? Turkey and all the trimmings, maybe mince pies and clotted cream? Terrys chocolate orange was always a favorite of mine as a kid.

As I've got older the taste buds have changed and I like savoury. Me, well Denise and I cook Christmas dinner and like many, you're cooking all day for loads of people. And come sit down time we don't fancy it.

I tend to wait for the Cheese board. And this year, well today we knocked up some homemade pickled onions.The one on the left has added Scotch Bonnet and Chilli Flakes and for the weak hearts the right hand side is much milder.

These must now remain closed until Christmas Day, it could play me right up on Boxing Day at the exit.Time will tell, wet wipes in the freezer as we speak. Oh come on it can't be boring fishing all the time.

I also see from high up on Yat Rock, the Barbel Face Book world is in flux again. I'm sure Frank and Fred my cartoon Boris mates will be along sometime soon to offer some views.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Christmas Wish List

Dear Father Christmas,

I thought by getting my request in early, you will look after me again this year? I've been a good boy with maybe the odd blip or two that involved prostitutes and a crack den. But yes on the whole, it has been plain sailing.

Not asking for too much as in reality you're very busy, what with only working one day a year you fat work shy bastard. So please consider the following. This book below appeals to me, as in a past life we used to partake in a bit of  ferreting not to be confused with gerbaling. First published in 1935 and is widely available in various book emporiums

On route to the United Kingdom, please, please, pretty please would you stop in Japan and collect this Megabass Arms rod a snip at a thousand dollars, oh and while I'm at it, it would need a nice tarty reel to sit on it. So a Megabass Hedgehog that comes in at around six hundred dollars would be pretty useful.

I do hope you don't think that I'm taking the piss with this letter and life is treating you well. I look forward to receiving these gifts on Christmas Day.

Kindest Regards

Monty Dalrymple.

Keeping with the Christmas theme, Mr DD can't make the social on Saturday the twelfth. The reason? His going to watch AFC Wimbledon Vs Stevenage, totally piss poor in my opinion. But get this he has only fished once this year. On a guided trip to the Wye, with an angler who was caught fishing out of season a while back. The guide also charges thirty pounds for a bag of boilies, a fool and his money!

Even worse he is giving up his Longford Estate Ticket, the estate not content in charging over five hundred pounds a season. Coarse fishing will not now start until October the first in future. Looks like the coarse guys have been fucked over by the Salmon anglers. Nowt new in that then is their? Chin up though mate, you always have that tip the Wandle as a back up water! Not the same as the glorious Hampshire Avon, but more or less on your doorstep. Every cloud son, every cloud.

Be Lucky


Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Two Sugars?

It's been a funny few days for fishing, two trips. One I caught on, one that saw a blank. Sunday saw me holding onto a brolly for dear life, while ensconced on the river. Two Barbel hung themselves on the end in a short three hour trip.

Sadly I was bored, so bored that the camera did not get whipped out. It's hard to understand why as for ten years or more they occupied my every angling moment. Ying said to me recently "Just how many Barbel to people need to catch", he has lost his Barbel mojo also. It's not the species's fault, possibly it's the sitting on one's arse  doing fuck all that does my brain in. One well known expert in the angling media, casts out, set his baitrunners and proceeds to read a book!

Today though was a blast, though fishless. My beady eye has been tracking the water level on a different river since Sunday night. Dropping daily so things looked good. Quick call to Gruff to see if he was about today, yep so the jobs a good'un.

This little lot below was sorted, what Pike or Perch would forgo a munch on one of these?

Now before I went to bed last night, one last look at the EA website, all looked good. Arrived before Gruff, quick phone call and told him where I was heading. Walked down to the river and was greeted by this, a coffee coloured swirling mess. How the fuck did this happen, with no overnight rain. Pulled out the phone, checked the levels at it had spike over two feet since midnight and continued to rise while we fished.

All I can think of is that it poured down on the other side of the South Downs. Still you're not at work the winds howling in your face like a demented banshee, life is good.

Moving downstream to find some smoother water, began chucking various bits of wood and metal to no avail. Then out of the gloom up popped Gruff, with his new Lumby Trickster. Silent and stealthy for a big lad, one minute he was not about, then poof, just like the shopkeeper in  Mr. Benn as if by magic he appeared.

We both fished hard, nice mild day to be out. Sure the winds an absolute bastard gusting up to 50 Mph, lures for some of us getting blown into trees, but all rescued with my cat like dexterity.

After five hours we sat down in a sheltered spot for a cuppa. "Had enough kid, winds getting worse and I am fooked". "Yeah come on then old'un let's piss off".

No fish, but a good laugh with some proper banter as always. Glad I made the effort, family stuff will have me by the balls for the next few weeks, so I'll struggle to get out, In that time perhaps I'd better read the instructions on my new camera, instead of just point and hope-plum.

As for Coops and his Perch Auction Day, the lad is busy with work and I dare say he will be even busier after recent events. Being the gent I am, I've paid an additional hundred pound into the fund for Iwan. So no rush big boy, when ever you can get away.

Be Lucky

Monty D