Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Perch Fishing Auction

The angling grapevine is buzzing at present, with fellow anglers organising events to raise funds for Iwan Clarke to go to America and undergo treatment for leukemia.

Details of which can be found here........

All of us in some way have been touched by this awful illness. I was thinking of how I could offer up a few bob to help and came up with this.

I would like to auction a day with me after Perch, on a local river a Thames Tributary. I'm no special angler as you all know, just your average Joe. But I do have the knack of knowing where the decent Perch live, just a few photo's of some nice fish below.

I had a little count up last night and have winkled out just shy of thirty Perch over three pound in the last fifteen years, not a bad number for a once a week angler, who also targets other species.

The day, if anyone makes an offer will have to be a Saturday and from the start of November until the end of the season, your choice. October will be work,work and more work.

You can fish how ever you wish, lures, float fishing, ledgering I'm not fussed. I'll show you all my secret Perch spots, that not even my close  mates know (have to keep some spots back lads, sorry) and hopefully bag you a three pound plus fish. I will also add fifty pounds to Iwan's fund for good measure. The winning bid will also go towards Iwan's treatment.

This blog over the last five years has been many things, but now is maybe the time to put it to good use. I'll end the auction a week on Saturday at 0700Hrs. Feel free to share this if you will, one caveat please keep the venue publicity free.

Don't be shy I don't bite.Just leave a bid as a comment if you will.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 18 September 2015

This And That

This little blog entry contains no angling content what so ever and may offer some fruity expletives, so if this causes an offense  may I suggest you read no further.

Below we have the legend that is Danny Dyer, recently this bard, nay wordsmith offered the masses a tweet with his views on 9/11.

Here it is.........  "Can't believe it's been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers it still freaks my nut out to this day" Remember he's not in character but tweeting from the soul.

Pretty powerful and thought provoking stuff. If their is a more cockney geezer on this planet than Dan, well I'll eat my hat. Pie and Mash for breakfast, jellied Eels for lunch and Welks for dinner, seven days a week.

But then I got to thinking, how good would it be if Dan got into politics and went on to become Prime Minister, the possibilities for mirth are endless.

The despatch box for instance, up pops Jeremy Corbyn dressed like a sack of shit.

JC "Mr. Prime Minister, this country is in the grip of a housing crisis, how will you resolve this issue?"

PM" I could not give a fack you mug, it's faacking simple you melt, study hard at school, go to college, then onto university get a blinding degree and get a nice little number, then buy a nice gaff. Piss ball about at school, play the class clown and leave with a D in art. Get a faacking Mcjob and live in social housing, now sit daan you faacking left wing prick, next"

Or if Angela Merkel called on the dog.

AM " Mr Prime Minister we the people of the European Union, feel that the UK should take their fair share of refugees from Syria".

PM " Really you dopey Kraut tart, if you had not opened your faacking trap and suggested you would let them all in, you would not have this problem. The UK now more than ever are so glad to be a faacking island. Oh and before I hang up, Two world wars and one world cup, do da, do da."

I'm going to be contacting Dan's agent on Monday to suggest a change of career, the man is wasted with such stunning intellect. Vote Dan!


It all starts tonight, really excited about this. Can we go onto win the Webb Ellis trophy, most definitely but think positive. But really is it twelve years since Johnny kicked this over.

We all piled into the pub early doors on a Saturday morning, a great game was witnessed. Extra time and tense as hell. Then that kick to send the pub into melt down, I'll never forget my mate hugging me and screaming.

"How fucking mad is that we won, fuck me we never win fuck all and we won"

We stayed in the pub all day, the bird I was living with had the 'ump. Come six o'clock in the evening she stormed into the pub with my dinner and cutlery and slammed it on the table(we lived eight doors away), the place fell silent. I piped up "Any chance of some gravy babes?"

Needless to say we split up soon after. But I've grown up now people, matured over the last twelve years. Gotten married, become sensible. I'll be popping out to watch tonight's game and promised the wife I'll be home by Sunday lunchtime. That is real progress and real love.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 12 September 2015

Pretty Girl

At dawn, creeping around in the damp today after a good Chub on surface lures resulted in abject failure. The summer has seen me try and nick one over five pounds on a insect lure. Had a few but way smaller than the target weight.

Three hours, three blood stained, racker rash hours saw me waving the white flag of submission. Not a swim, nay a cast would let me even get close to my chosen quarry. The Pike when they were not twisting and turning, while my finger was being ripped to bits. Were jumping clear with gay abandon, missing the lure by miles and doing somersaults. Every Chub in the vicinity were scared witless and slunk away. Time possibly has done for me with this little quest for now.

Change of plan, walk around two miles back downstream and try and see if a decent Perch was about. Little problem, only one tiny Kopyto in my bag, all the other lures were for surface fishing. If I got "Jacked" it may have been game over. Plastic fucked, good night and god bless.

I'll admit I cheated, chose a swim that does hold good Perch. It's not been fished by me at all this season. But, well you know how it is at times sporting behaviour get's kicked into touch. Six casts and a little nibble, slow tap. Next cast, really slowed the retrieve down and whack. I play my lure caught Perch hard, get them into the net before they realise what is going on. Just as well as the hook was out into the net.

A very chunky fish and not put on the scales, my tendency is not to bother unless they look like going three pounds or over. But photos can be very deceiving as to what you see in the flesh. Recently social media has been in a tizz over a reported four pound Perch from Grafham on a LAS day. Looking at that photo from Grafham, it looks like it would hardly make a three pound fish. But who can tell, why would an angler lie? What happens in the dark comes out in the light surely? Me, well this little stunner above I'd give around 2.8lbs. Many anglers will never see a decent Perch, so jump on the bandwagon that is Face Prowler  and piss and moan. Perhaps today she should have been weighed, but why? Not every fish needs a weight, she was a belter. So thanks darling, the pleasure is all mine.

Now next Saturday McGruff and I are supposed to be attending the PAC Convention. But if the rivers are in such good nick, what is a man to do. Spend the day on the river and maybe catch the fish of your dreams. Or spend it in a conference center with a load of hairy arsed Pikers.

Please don't rain, please don't rain.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 10 September 2015

Small Pred's

Between going away for a few days, I did manage to squeeze in a couple of trips. Bank holiday weekend saw me head off down the river to try out my new outfit. Jacks, Jacks and yet more Jacks were intent on hurling themselves at every lure used.

But no dramas ensured with the dreaded "bird nests", sure a couple popped up but these were easy to pull through. After a while everything was fine, apart from no Perch showed, again.

So next time out, threw my Loomis ultra light rod in the quiver and decided to fish small spinners, imitation crays and stick baits. Hoping that by fishing them slow along the bottom the small Pike would be avoided. Sure all Pike are good fun, but not when I'm targeting Perch.

The Perch showed in numbers, but not in size, a lost unseen fish in a known Perch hole has me wondering though. Trying to convince myself it was a Pike, but it's one that will keep me awake at night of that I'm sure. It had that head thump of a good Perch, felt very, very solid too. Until the hook slipped. One of those moments, when the heart pumps and your mouth goes dry and you think-shit!  

I'll not complain overly, as fish are being banked and it's all good fun. But you want a few nice fish before the Autumn deluge arrives and scuppers my plans.

Be Lucky

Monty D