Saturday, 1 August 2015


Probably my least favourite angling month, looking back over the years this particular time on the rivers that I fish is always tough. Irrespective of how I choose to fish. Levels tend to be low and the weed has taken hold with a vengeance.Today was no different.

The day got off to a bad start, arriving at the station and an announcement bellowed "Due to over running engineering works all trains are subject to late running and cancellations". That was enough for me to accuse South West Trains, of being akin to a lady's genitalia and then some. A journey that should take twenty minutes morphed into ninety.

Arrived much later than normal and set about fishing. Hard, very hard today. Two small Perch of about a pound from the swim above. Then a long walk to a favourite shady pool of mine that always holds fish.

Not today though, this was the only other fish to grace my net. She followed the lure twice before turning away. Next cast I could see her following again, so pausing the retrieve drew a response. Madame shot forward, mouth wide open and gulp. Nice chunky little girl who will make someone very happy later in the season. Surprised no Pike  played ball today, but it's not a blank session so one must not grumble. But as I've mentioned August on my venues can be tough.

Moving on news came into the Yat phone in the week, that caused a sharp intake of breath and a solemn head shake.What ails me? Well the American channel HBO, has plans to give All Creatures Great and Small the Hollywood treatment. To make it "Glossier" and "Sexier".

Fuck right off with this idea. If like I you were brought up in the seventies and eighties, this was Sunday evening television. A comfort blanket if you will, to soothe the soul. Sundays growing up in our house went thus.

Dad down the pub at lunchtime, while Mum hit the valium and the staff cooked dinner, us Dalrymples have employed some good people over the years. Dinner over. Dad snored his bollocks off on the sofa, Mum played bridge with her friends. While I played Space Invaders on the Atari.

Then All Creatures Great and Small came on and we all convened in the west wing. So please Mr. HBO, leave it as it is. It's part of OUR past . Mrs Pumphrey's dog Tricki Woo was a Pekinese. If the Yanks get hold of it, it will no doubt be a Pit Bull named Tyson!

I'll not even start on the prick who shot Cecil the Lion. But just a thought for any of you Big Game Hunters who are looking in. How about instead of getting a hard on, over the recoil of a gun. You simply take a photo? Leave only footprints and look back on treasured memories.

Be Lucky

Monty D


  1. Is he shagging that pooch? He's pulling his sex face so I guess so.

    Never watched it myself, if I want to see someone with their hand up a cow's naughty bits I'll do it on a porno channel like God intended. But I agree with you about the bow and arrow dentist - what a prick. He must have particularly small genitals.

  2. What ever floats your boat to be honest. Doubt I would delve into that kind of porn-Yuk. Still living where you do, every cow must look right tasty.

    On that note we are off to a family BBQ ;-0

  3. Whether it's shooting at lions or shooting up Pekinese dogs, it's just so wrong and leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. Unlike BBQ's.
    Haunch of zebra anyone? Well, if it wasn't meant to be flame grilled it wouldn't come with stripes on already would it!
    Talking of stripes, nice perch mate. Looks tasty ;-)

    1. Rich,

      I'm sure its the same fish in the previous blog entry that Karl had. Same size shoulders and small tail. A cray fish muncher, longer frame than the photo suggests She will fill out I'm sure.

      Back end she may go a low three pound fish..

  4. Two legged game is much more sporting, and challenging . I may have a job lined up on an anti poaching unit in Kenya. I do admit to shooting animals, though if I shoot any it's for the table not to parade myself on an anti social network site.


    The 2 mile sniper.

    1. Coops how about sign in with out the monikers ;-). I've no problem with shooting or trapping for the table. Have done ot myself in the past.

      But the Dentist, well a class "A" Wanker. Oh and do me a favour and text Gruff, get his arse in gear in relation to the Avon. The old boy has gone to ground.

      Keep your head down mate.

  5. Not me mate


    1. Ahh must have been silly bollocks playing about again. I'll change the settings on comments now.;-0