Saturday, 15 March 2014

Doppelgangers of the Angling World Part XXVIIII


The close season is now upon us and a certain forum has declared a state of national mourning, but more of that later. Me well I did not bother to wet a line in the last two weeks of the river season. It has on the whole been an abject winter on the angling front, so I thought sod it I'll leave it until the summer.

So without further ado, has anyone ever seen these fine two anglers on the bank at the same time, be it in this galaxy or one far, far away........

Below we have an angler who goes by the name "Jawa", who took a break from nicking droids in the outer nebular of the planet Schlom. To land this Barbel purported to weigh in at over twelve pounds from a Yorkshire river.


Below we have an angler who goes by the name of Alex Dalton, looking a little over gunned in my view for a days "Boris Bashing".


Keeping with the alien theme, does anyone who views this twaddle work in IT? If you do I hope you manage to communicate, in a more eloquent manner than our IT department in work do. They really are the "Star Wars Bar". You ask a question of a non technical nature and the guys(for they are all guys), mumble, look at the floor and seem to get strangulated, struggling to produce a single sentence that makes sense.

I think most people who gravitate to this profession, were locked under the stairs as children. Fed through a hatch, while they dissected Java Script. They seem to lack all social graces, that most of us take for granted. Here is our IT department in the photo below.  

What's a woman?
Camouflage angling clothing,well I have had enough. It seems to have gotten to a level now that has gone to far. I know this is just not my little bug bear, others have commented on this issue recently too. Grown men seem to stride the banks now, like they are out to bag the family Turkey for Thanks Giving. Instead of a days gentle piscatorial pleasure. It seems the river Wye has a huge problem with anglers striding into the wilds dressed thus, thinking they are in the Blue Ridge Mountains.Enough already.


Where's the Bibs,Butt?
And now back to our old friends at Barbel Fatwa World, I love this forum as many of us do for all the wrong reasons. And dear, dear old "Big JW" had me laughing at work with this thread yesterday.

 http://www.barbel.co.uk/site/vbulletin/forum/barbel-talk/9421-close-seaon.html.

"All you Barbel men" had me pissing myself. I have a sneaky feeling that Comrade Crowe and Tony Benn had been peaking at the forum recently and lost the will to live. But if your ever down about life, love, or your angling, please do take time to look at Fatwa and you will then understand that life is a glass half full, as opposed to the glass that has fuck all in it, that seems to prevail you know where.


Enjoy your close season.


Monty D.

Saturday, 1 March 2014

Monty's Lament

Well what winter for many of us this has turned out to be, bleak would be a good way to describe it. Not managing to get out at all in February owing to work and family gatherings, today's trip was being looked forward with relish all week. Until last night when the rain arrived on Que to throw another spanner in the works.

Gruff and I chose a different venue to my last session in the hope of finding some big Perch, that dwell in this particular beat. But it was up and flying through again and in truth with normal winter conditions the rain we had, would seldom have such an adverse effect on the water level .Standing water still adorn the fields and every step you took a sodden foot print was left.

We tried finding a few slacks but no luck prevailed.




I only had one chance, a small Jack launched itself skyward as I lifted the lure out of the water, startling itself as it went airborne. Casting in this area proved fruitless and others areas proved  barren of fish life today also. Gruff at least had his string pulled, here he is bent into another good specimen.



Alas for Gruff it turned into another branch. The river bed here seemed to be festooned with all manner of branches after the winter we have just endured.



So why the lament?  The sun shone today and it was lovely to be out although fish less, it was a pleasure, but the dreaded close season is around the corner. I have been reading a thread on Fishing Magic where this is being discussed. Me, well I have always been in favor of the close season, for no other reason than I like tradition. But now, well for purely selfish reasons I would like to see it changed.  The last few winters many of us have missed months of river fishing, and I for one would love to be able to cast a line in the Spring on running water for coarse fish. As I say purely for selfish reasons but I can live with that. The fishing season seems to pass with an equine like speed, with seldom enough angling done. So come on Mr EA, how about a rethink?

I may cast a line again in the next two weeks, but if conditions do not improve then I will retreat up high on Yat Rock until later in the year.

Random irritations part one.

I have done twenty eight Doppelgangers now and there are still plenty more ,but as we get older things tend to chaff at our minds that little bit more.

This really irritates me. Why oh why when you have one pistachio nut left in the packet, does it have to be closed. How do you get the little fucker open without smashing the thing into pieces? Not impressed in the slightest.

Bad Nut!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Be Lucky.


Monty D.