Thursday, 26 May 2011

Pub Talk

I'd like to point out that this is not my spot from up here on Yat Rock.Various people have implored me over the last week to blog this.I would have been none the wiser if it had not been for some beady eyed foot soldiers,employed on the minimum wage by my good self.But top work my little darlings,top work.

On the link below we have the superb double act of the late Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.And very funny it is too.Sorry for just the link and not the whole video but the uploading was taking for ever so I took the easy route.

And then please feel free to watch the video below, you will see two of the Barbel angling worlds greats.Sure it's very old footage but take note from the video around 4.45 in. Notice the likeness?

While still on the subject of Barbel,my money is on Dave Stueart to receive the Gordon Scott award at next weekends Barbel Society show.Is there anyone else in the running?Maybe Peter Wheat?Who knows but I will be there in spirit.This weekend I'm on a work party on a local club stretch of river.And if it is like the last ten years,it will be poorly attended as ever.Ho hum,then I'll sort through my tackle ahead of the new season.I reckon I'll start on the Thames this year,but not on opening day.

Now more football........Champions League final at Wembley on Saturday and I was offered two corporate tickets for the game between Barcelona and Manchester United.I thought about it but declined.It just seems wrong for fans from either club to not get tickets.While the people who hang on to the game get a freebie.But I'll have my Spanish hat on this day.And what about Ryan Giggs and we all knew weeks back?Lovely looking wife and you cheated for what?Why go out for a burger Ryan,when you have fillet steak at home.And what about QPR,promoted to the premier league and the board want to put season ticket prices up by 40%.That is a piss take of the highest order,I know two season ticket holders at QPR,who have seen a large increase in the last two seasons.But not on this scale,a shame for the fans.But I'm hardly surprised as the fans are secondary,to the posers they have in charge.I wonder what ours will cost next season?Two Dildos and a Magic Rabbit perhaps.

My god it's raining first time in weeks,about bloody time too!

Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 20 May 2011

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part XII

I'm afraid to say still no angling for me owing to work commitments,but I have been assured by the powers that be everything will be put to bed by the middle of July.I do hope so as it is really getting on my wick,we all want an additional few bob in our pocket but as a wise man once said"You can't take it with you Monty old son".Very true is that,very true indeed.

So here we have another one of these.Here is Mr.Ousemeister who used to tread those hallowed boards over on Fatwa World.Constantly tweaking the rather sensitive nose of "Derrick he of the nine pound Chub but no camera".Anyone else part with there hard earned cash so he did not sell his tackle after a post on Fatwa?Last I heard he was Mullet fishing in Spain with Ryan Giggs,yes you can't hide out their for ever Ryan,time to face the music maybe,say no more say no more ;-)

And here we have Beaker from the Muppet Show,who has been doing some Carp fishing on a very private Northants Pit.So private in fact that it is closed to all and sundry unless like Beaker does,you shoot in the shooting season.He is seen here with his trusty Gun Dog Redknapp,who sticks his nose in everywhere that does not warrant his attention.

Now to the rain or lack of it.I know I touched on this briefly last week but we still have very little rainfall..And the forecast for June down here does not look very promising either.I have been speaking to people over the last week and it seems that rivers in Yorkshire,The South East and the West are currently akin to late Summer levels.Sure the big rivers like the Wye,Thames,Severn and Trent can cope.But I'm generally concerned about the smaller rivers to be truthful.This Spring has been drier than the infamous summer of 1976,I was only young sure.But I have a vague memory of the parks being cracked wide open,due to the lack of the wet stuff.Fingers crossed I think from me here at Yat Rock that things can and will change soon.

May I take this opportunity to welcome Yesling Ying to the order of "The Creel",He has,at the tender age of 44 finally got his first cane rod.After a moment of epiphany earlier on in the week.As of today he is the proud owner of a Chapmans 550 Delux,bought from a mate at mates rates.The best way to do it.Lots of people seem to be coming out of the dark and into the light these days?

He does though need a name for the rod as all cane rods should have a name.Fire them into me here at Yat Rock.

Lastly only in America............

A dwarf barista at a Starbucks cafe in El Paso,Texas has the backing of the federal government after bringing a case against the US giant for wrongful dismissal.She was sacked in essence, in case she spilt a hot beverage on a customer,thus bring an even more costly case.So far so good I would say.But up pops......Gary Arnold speaking on behalf of the Little People of America,I'm not making this up honest.And I quote"Thousands of people of short stature contribute to the productivity and diversity of our communities by going to work every day" he told the Seattle Weekly.

Starbucks hit back"We're really proud of our track record for hiring partners with a variety of disabilities,we take the concerns that are included in the law suit very seriously.We have a zero tolerance policy for discrimination of any kind"Said a spokesperson.

Would it not have been easier just to buy the lady a stool?As I say only in America.That's it,as ever being Friday I'm off out for a cupla pints.Enjoy your weekend and good luck to Wolves and Blackpool.I want Wigan and Brum down with us.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Down But Not Out

Well so ends our stay in the Premier League,but did we deserve to stay up?Nope not in any shape or form.It is undoubtedly the least organised side I've seen down at our gaff for a long,long time.And I've seen a few and today's capitulation sums it all up very well indeed.Our defence has been truly awful all season.One wonders who's great idea it was to bring in that wanker Wally Downs and I quote...."Shake 'em up a bit".Well that worked eh?

Avram oh dear sweet Avram,no wonder your wife admitted on Television she drinks her own pee,look what we have had to put up with.And I was told yesterday by someone very close to Sir Trevor Brooking, that when we were getting beaten at home recently to the Villa,you were slated by Sullivan and you just turned and laughed.Well I would do the same on a four year contract.

And that brings me onto the ever so lovely Karen Brady,who offers or so it is said profound business advice on the apprentice. All I can say is I reckon you and Sir Alan are at it love,for a four year contract for Avram,you must have very special attributes other than your business acumen?Four years you daft cow.I'll leave the players out of it as they know they can go,we do not care and nor do you.Well most of you.

I feel for the lads who travelled today and yes TP you can stop your text messages now, as I'll be at the relegation piss up next Sunday when we play the Mackems.And on fine form I've even booked Monday off work :-)

Things to look forward to?Lots of friendly banter with Milwall,Leeds,Cardiif or Swansea.So chin up lads,get out your glad rags cause........"Were all going on a northern city tour",reckon I'll be about for a lot more way games next season.And an old tune to get the more morose among us through.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 13 May 2011

A Month Away

Well we are about four weeks away from the start of the river season.Many anglers across the various forums are champing at the bit for the hallowed June the sixteenth.Plans are being made,tales of two day sessions and hauling plenty of "Boris" are in the offing.Plans to pre-bait,spod out loads of bait and I dare say masturbate,are what a real Barbel angler mostly aspire to these days?Or is it?

It was a very warm April and "Agent Farmpton" and company were all in a lather as they were last Spring.Asking people to report back to Spawn Spot HQ, as this time it's the real deal and it will show the "Close Season" is needed.And what has happened it has got a little colder.And with no rain on the horizon, with the rivers down south looking dire,how many of you so called "Barbel Anglers" will leave it a while?And a three year plan to study,study what guys? Spawning data? Come on we are all better than that.They can and will spawn as and when,they have been about long before us so let 'em be.Well not us as man kind,but long before some of the "Saps" who just target Barbel.

Will the Barbel Spawn in time?Will those who preach to "Us" about the close not sally fourth on the sixteenth?The whole pious attitude to me stinks to high heaven.But hey I'm just a grumpy git.I must add though I wish the Barbel Show all the best in June.I adore the fact that Jon Berry is doing his stint.Nowt like getting way from the "Floppy Hatter" guise is there chaps.We must move forward from the "Floppy Hatter Image",but when your in a hole lads, who you gonna call....?"Cane Busters".

I'll throw in some photos from the past,just to keep it real....No weights as pounds and ounces always detract to some extent.

February Barbel above.

End of July Barbel above.

September Barbel above.

Little Common July.....

There we have it,all river fish.And let us wait in quiet contemplation and think before we cast a line for certain species.When so many are so stringent on certain dates.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part XI

Time for another one of these I feel........What are the chances of seeing these two fine fellows out on the bank-side at any one time?Not an awful lot I must profess.

Here with have Adolf Hitler(Boo Hiss,Boo Hiss) all round mad man and let's be honest not particularly right in the head.I know,I know glass houses and stones and all that but hey we are not all perfect.

And below we have all round good angler and total fish chaser Mr.Kevin Colsten-Iles.He is not seen much these days as he likes to keep a low profile,since he was given various river walks and gleaned huge reams of info.He was around on the Medway way back in the day when it was throwing up some very big fish.His nickname among some is the "Vegan Freak",though to me it's a little bit more near the mark.

He did though write years ago for the Barbel Society,in it's first issue of Barbel Fisher no less.But he now prefers to walk his dog and jack boot across Sussex.And while we are on the subject of the Barbel Society,well nearly.The ABF have now acquired there third water and in such a short space of time,doffs cap and shouts three cheers.

They have a stretch of the Tidal Trent(Well done Hobby) directly below the BS beat at Sutton.Now do not choke on your evening G&Ts,how about in the fourth coming season both groups hold a charity fish-in?A team event if you will,one ABF angler pegged next to a BS member?To raise some money for a good cause and show some angling unity for a change and show we are all grown ups?It is up to you chaps.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 8 May 2011

El Matador

This is totally non fishing,so please look away now If you are offended by such things?I'm not one for RIPs for people we do not know.Be they sporting greats or other people I'll never know.But this man in my eyes is a legend.The radio reported late on Friday night that he was ailing and his family were around his bed.I thought as ever that the "El Matador" will be fine,his strong he will come back.

Alas not,the golf and sport world has lost a real legend.Even If you do not play golf or "hack round" as many of us do.Most people have heard of Severinao Ballesteros,he came from a very humble background in Predena northern Spain.Practised hitting pebbles with a golf club,so the story says.And went onto become one of the most iconic and much loved golfers of our times.The feisty anger,the dark hair tussled in the breeze.Slazenger jumper,white shoes that shone out like his smile.Peter Allis so succinctly put it yesterday....."When Seve smiled,so did the world".

Today golf is all about percentages,but for those of us who play in our regular four ball.We all want to be Seve at some time.Play the shot that we should never think of undertaking.I've only managed that once,holed out of a bunker to save par.I sit here now typing and remember the other three lads in the four ball saying....."Seve,Seve,Seve".But the real Seve changed the game so much,he was,well just in a league of his own.He went for it,sure he hit some bad shots of the Tee.But he always came back with aplomb.And then some.So to you Severiano,I'll raise a glass and say Ole.......

Top smile the man had.

And a passion so much lacking in today's game,when a player just doffs his cap to the crowd.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 5 May 2011

The End Is Nigh

I'll be at Upton Park on Saturday after a few hours in work,to see If we can get the first of the three possible wins we need to retain our premiership status.I've been saying mostly all season we are a poor side and we will go down.And now this lady is getting ready to belt out her famous tune.

Who's fault is it really?The players or the manager,well I think both to be honest.We have an immense wage bill,far to high for a medium size club like ours.And the players know when,and it is when, we go down they will be off loaded,so they do not really need to worry about where they will end up next season.Upson wants to go to a top six club,son your not really the player you think you are in your own mind.The only player who has really tried this season is Scott Parker and I hope he ends up at the Arsenal if he goes,but reckon it will be S***s.But the Olympic Stadium pops it's head up again.West Ham have privately admitted that If we are still in the Championship in 2013,that a move will be hard.So every cloud and all that.................A new bagel shop in E15 may have planning permission.While we are on the subject of S***s,they were moaning about the anti Semitic songs,sang by Chelsea last weekend.But it was OK to have 30,000 odd fans telling Wenger he was a paedophile the week before,double standards me thinks.

Now to Avram,we always knew he could get the best out of players.Here he is telling Torres"You are still a great player son,prove them all wrong".

Only problem was he scored against us!I was at this game on St.Georges Day and the ground was full of Yanks and other tourists taking photo's.Not the old Chelsea away days I remember from my more formative years.Still next season may be an eye opener If the likes of Swansea,Cardiff,Millwall.Leeds and us all play each other.I was told though by a mate who has a season ticket at Millwall(Barrister no less, must come in handy),that Swansea are a decent side.So we shall see.

Lastly the ABF are considering various images for a logo.May I be so bold and offer up this.You know it makes sense guys.

If your out on the bank this weekend or at football or doing what ever you do,enjoy yourselves.

Be Lucky(Or for Bob Lucy)

Monty D