Saturday, 29 January 2011

Soon Be Spring ?

I had a short four hour Perch session today on a local river.I deliberated all week about fishing as I really fancied a weekend off at home with my feet up.Being busy at work and a couple of very late nights had worn me down a little.Chuck in the more or less incessant cold and I was all set to stay home and read a book.

Until I changed my mind last thing on the way home from work yesterday and dived into my local tackle shop and grabbed some rather mangy worms.Even when the alarm gave a shrill call first thing this morning,I had to force myself up and out of bed and into the shower.I get some right stick about having a shower prior going fishing,as some people just have a "cats lick" then go fishing.I though cannot wake up without a shower,nice not to shave on a Saturday though I can tell you.

Did I enjoy it ? No not really and it's the first time I've really dragged myself out of the door to go.Like most I love my fishing but I think the weather these last two months is maybe making me lethargic.I fished a couple of swims by trotting lobs worms close to the bottom and had one very and I mean very small Jack Pike.I was mostly on auto mode and I was glad to pack up at noon to be honest.A low grey and sullen sky,plus a biting North Easterly wind had done for me. The sun only came out briefly for around five minutes,so I grabbed this quick photo of the far bank cover that I was trotting past.I have kept it in black and white to go with my rather jaundiced view of the day.

Is a moral coming ? Yes like many have said in the past do not go if you really do not want to.It's a pleasure not a chore.And today was the latter and I was glad to get home.Although the "Gruff" is out again next week, after being on family duty's for the last few weekends so that will put a smile on my "Boat".

Where does the Spring come into all this.I got home and put my tackle away and went into the back garden to top up the bird feeders and change the water bowl.And I noticed the Croucus(God knows If that is the right spelling) have started to poke there heads up,so I'm hoping they know something I do not ?

Lastly as promised here Is a little video I made ;-)As ever a few profanity's and if this offends you then I offer no apologies.Just do not look in here please ;-)

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Barbel Society Promotional Videos

While in work early yesterday morning I took a phone call from the new Steven Spielberg of the angling world.And he asked If I had seen the new videos the Barbel Society were promoting in order to attract new members and move forward.

I had not, so he e-mailed me these two over, this one being the first. Please be aware they both contain the odd profanity,so if your upset by such things please do not click on the links.

And this one being the second.

Just think of the fun that can be had with this lot over the coming weeks and months.You have to pay a small fee to get them "live" so to speak.But hell I can really go to town and some ideas are already germinating in my tiny pea size mind.

I got back from Birmingham last night at around 02.00 and I'm a little disappointed but that's football.If it was not for my fishing I'm sure I would have gone mad after following West Ham for the last 35 years or so.First ever game age 5,in 1975 with my old man still sticks in my mind.Thanks Dad,why did you turn left to Upton Park out of our estate, when as right turn would have taken us to Highbury ?Only joking you support who you do and I for one would not change that for anything.Going to be a long day at work today though.

Enjoy the videos I've a train to catch.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Monday, 24 January 2011

The Olympic Stadium Drama

Blimey I never knew this ?Seb Coe was once a "Top Boy" in our firm.

I've been talking to people about this for the last couple of weeks now.Not a soul I know wants us to move to the Olympic Stadium.And not one Spurs fan I know wants to move from White Hart Lane also.

It is the one time I want Spurs to beat us at anything.But I think we will win the bid,if winning is the right word.Now I'm not a fan of Harry Redknapp,but his article in The Sun last Friday was mostly spot on.Though the bit about West Ham fans not liking him now as he manages Spurs, is way off the mark.We don't like you as your a snide,bung taking,saggy chops,twitching wrong 'un.

But our wonderful Karen"Must Stop Eating" Brady, was as ever totally out of sync with her article today.We have 17,000 people on a season ticket waiting list ?Total an utter bollocks Karen as you and the other two planks know.All three of you have been totally graceless since you took charge of MY club.You lot have a "Business Model" of how things will go at the Olympic Stadium,bringing fans in for a day out.

Who in there right mind,wants to be at the best 45 meters from the pitch ?At the worst a potential 200 meters ?Who wants to spend the best part of the day being shown around the ground,have lunch,spend money in the shop and watch the game and then go home ?Not anyone I know!A corporate plastic jamboree is what you wankers want.When we go down you must expect around 25,000 average gates next season.If we are still down,when and If we move into the Olympic Stadium it will be a soulless bowl.

So good luck to the lot over in North London.

I will be at Brum on Wednesday for our second leg of the Carling Cup Semi-Final.Without a ticket to the game,we have sold our allocation of 6,000.But the police expect an additional 6,000 to travel without tickets.I'll try and get one off a tout,if not we will find a pub to watch it in.But with no fit strikers I feel it will go tits up.

Who cares,your West Ham right ?

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Keith Bleeding Arthur

I would just like to say a huge thank you to Mr.Arthur for jinxing my trip to the river today.Listening to Fisherman's Blues this morning,dear old "Keef" was talking about the Thames and it's tributary's.And how the mighty Thames was banging through but the smaller rivers should be in fine fettle for this weekend, now that they are fining down and some good sport should be had.

I just rolled my eyes and thought"You bleeding bock Arthur"Do not ever believe a word this old rouge says in future.It was very hard indeed.
Or is it just my usual session of gross ineptitude ?I started fishing in the dark around 07.00 with Lob worms and Bread Crust for bait,roaming about and staying in a swim no more than twenty minutes.It was bloody cold in the wind and also a few sharp showers chilled the hands,but as I was touch ledgering I had no choice but to tough it out,I know Stef,I know.

Dropping a bait in and out of various pools, eddy's,under cut banks and raft swims.I had my first very gentle bite at around 10.30 while bouncing a worm around a swim I call the "House Pool".But I failed to connect and after another ten minutes I moved back upstream and had a coffee.Even though the fishing was hard going I was really enjoying myself,all the anglers from last weekend had failed to show and I had miles of river to myself.Now you and I know how good it is to be an angler and I love to be on the river at this time of year,more so when all the lazy sods are at home in bed.

I tried a few more swims with no joy and had one more speculative cast around 11.30 and by now it was pissing down.Ten minutes later I had a savage bite and caught this little chap here,sure they do not count on anything other than a a bit of fluff,but it was the first Trout this old MKIV Avon had caught so I thought I take a quick snap as my mate Treebeard,much prefers to be fishing as opposed to just being hung from a hook on the wall ;-).

Apologies for the slight blur,as the camera was wet after being dropped on the floor while I tried to stop the little bugger flipping all over the place,before he went back.

Now as you can see I did not use an unhooking mat,and I feel really bad as already this lot have been making dire threats into the Yat Phone.

I do hope that I can avoid the BS when I'm next on the river,as I'm not really happy about a load of zealots chasing me down the bank throwing there plimsolls at me,while I flee with my creel and cane. I'm truly sorry guys and will use a mat for all species in future.I think it is now time for a beer.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VII

Well January is absolutely flying by so I thought it was time I dropped in another one of these.What are the chances of seeing these two fine specimens of mankind out on the bank side ?Well no chance what so ever.

This here is that nutty Doctor Harold Shipman,I don't really need to go any further with this one do I.

And this chap here is Lancashire rod make for the great and good,Dave "Lumby" Lumb.Who can be found most days at some stage,offering his very special form of sardonic wit over on the PAC forum and Pike and Predator forum.Rumour is that he smiled for the first time in two years recently,when England retained The Ashes.He does though make some really nice rods.

Moving swiftly on as I'm really pressed for time,but this tune here is creating quite a stir. It's a song called You and Me,by a band called Penny and the Quarters.Now it sounds like a classic soul tune from the 1960's.But it's not, it's actually a rehearsal tape from the 1970's that turned up in an estate sale five years ago.Nobody knows who really recorded it,as Penny the and Quarters was the name on the box.But it has a starring role in the film Blue Valentine that I hope to take in at some stage over the weekend.I think this song is superb,sure it's not polished but the lead vocal is wonderful.

I'll be out on the river on Saturday for a short five hour morning session and will just fish Lob worms and Bread Crust,for what ever comes along.Travelling light and keeping my interest levels up,as opposed to fishing static in a deep slumber of nothingness.If you are out on the bank this weekend,I hope you enjoy yourselves.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 15 January 2011

The World And His Brother

Busy old day on the river today on the angler front,but alas not so on the fish front.Now I was expecting this particular river to be carrying more water today with additional colour, after speaking to the fishery manager on Thursday.But it appears that the projected rain fall never really materialised.

I though packed for the projected rain fall,heavier leads and good old meat for bait.When I first saw the river today I thought,well you can imagine.Where had all the so called colour and extra water gone,that I had been told about ?I was fishing by 08.00 and had a small Barbel around 5lbs in weight around 09.30.A small Chub around 11.00 and a decent size "Brownie" of around a pound at noon.And I fished through until 17.45 and never had another bite.

I'll be honest I fished very poorly today. Because I thought I knew what to expect condition wise and I took far to much tackle,and was loathe to move swims to often.When I fish for the hallowed "Bronze Warrior" I much prefer to roam about,as I find just watching a rod tip really does my brain in after a while.And by roaming and moving swims it keeps me interested as opposed to sitting it out in a swim or two.If you do fish that way then fine,but how the lads do it on the larger rivers where they "Bivvie Up" for a couple of days is beyond me.So in essence I fished like a prick honestly I mean it,I should have dumped the gear and gone and found some more fish.Instead of thinking that I was going to cane the place and hoping they came to me.

I also spotted more anglers out today than I have seen all season.Now I know I piss and moan about liking my peace and quiet when on the bank side.But today it was just a mass of smiling people who were only to happy to be out again after the latest spell of rather inclement weather. And just for once I felt a warm glow in my little tummy,of how nice it was.It will not last though,if they appear next weekend I will revert to type!

Just a little snap of today,no need at all to photograph the fish I caught, as how many shots on an unhooking mat,can you take.

Now back to you know where for my weekly spit coffee all over the keyboard moment.I was in work on Friday morning and saw a thread on one of these.
If you really and I mean really need to ask about one of these on an angling forum,I fear for you when you get out on the bank.It can be a very dangerous place,with twigs,stinging nettles and other dastardly things that may harm us.Take care soldier the real world is not a happy place.

Lastly I hear three people I know and most of us know, are out on a "Jolly Up" on a syndicate water on the Trent on Sunday.If you see three old men,swapping tales of bed pans,heating allowance,sock darning you have met Messrs Biggun,Popsy and Oz.My advice would be to steer well clear if you see them,as they can turn a stock pond to ash with just the one cast.You have been warned.

I did mention I was going to discuss some serious angling "stuff" earlier on in the week,but I need a bloody beer.So it will have to wait.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

One Foot On Wembley Way/Angling Gods

Well have we (West Ham) got one foot on Wembley way ? After last night I will stick my kneck out and make a very,very tentative choice and say yes.It was a good afternoon in the pub and in the ground catching up with people like you do.Chew the fat,tell lies and try and look important,shit I was in an angling forum in another dimension,but full of Cockneys going "Fack,Fack,Mug,Cant"

Not a classic game but a very good Cup Tie and I hope those who watched it at home enjoyed it.The first half I thought we completely out played Birmingham and without the heroics of Ben Foster we could have been two or three goals up at the break.I would love to know what Uncle Fester said in his half time team talk to be honest.It must have been something like this,read it if you will in your best Yiddish."Right,you lot it's nearly the Sabbath and I want a pay off,Oi Vai,Oi Vai,so before you go out for the second half please leave your brains in the bin".Blimey it must have worked as we were proper pony in the second half.

Sure Birmingham were going to come at us,but we were very poor.So I'll settle for the 2-1 win,with ten men that we take to the Midlands in a couple of weeks time.As for Avram,now he is not hated down at the Boleyn Ground.And Gold,Sullivan and as my mate so succinctly put it last night "That fat slag and her poxy column in The Sun have not one iota of class.We would rather get relegated than have "Fergies Rent Boy" down at our gaff".As Martin O'neil appears to have to much sense to step in.

We the fans want the following........Julian Dicks as defensive coach.Paolo Di'Canio as midfield and striker coach.Martin "Mad Dog" Allen as our manger.Sure it would go tits up but think of the fun you could have.All three getting sent to the stands each week,while the "Chicken Run",run amok.Happy Days ;-)

Now I mentioned last week, that the Bard of BridgEnorth was going to Doncaster with the mighty Wolves as a guest of Bob Roberts.Who would have thought two angling egos of such size,could be in the same room as one another.Let alone on the same table.

The Bard phoned me,to let me know he had e-mailed me the photo to use on here and he said........Read in a thick Yam Yam accent if you will.

"Monty mon,fooking bostin were it,that Bob is a fooking ledgend and great company too"."No expense was spared,I had pie and chips,pie and gravy,pie and diet coke and yeah pie and cake"."He is not the tight arse Yorkshire man that many would have you believe,he even missed Tony Rocca".

"Here is the photo I promised yow".

I'd like to step in here and say I hope you reciprocate the "do" when you play Donnie next season.Nice one Bob ;-)Top right at the back looks a little,like a slimmer Matt Brown ?

That's all your getting until Sunday,my tackle needs to be sorted for a full day on the river on Saturday.And "Baby Bakes" goes back to University on Friday so we will be out for dinner tomorrow evening.But I'll try and come back on later in the week, with some actual serious angling stuff for a change as a couple of points have been spotted from Yat Rock.Oh and also a brace of Double figure Barbel that hopefully will come my way on Saturday.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Well I did indeed end up at Upton Park yesterday after all,as we had to cancel Gruff coming around to do a little job for us as a certain young lady was poorly.When I phoned Gruff and told him not to bother coming around he sounded like a man who had won the Lottery. And with Mrs Monty playing at nurse I swanned of out the door.But not after I got my tackle ready for a few hours today.

We again were lucky,sure we should have been three goals up at half time.But you knew the second half was going to be a nervous affair.And so it proved and Barnsley had a cast iron penalty turned down.And hit the bar before we moved back up the pitch and scored, cue huge relief and we are into the draw for the next round.That is straight after the Man U-Liverpool game that kicks of in a minute.How can you do the fourth round draw when some third round games have not even taken place ? Back to Mondays on the radio please If you will.It does look like Uncle Fester,will be out of a job soon and the rumours are that Martin O'neil is wanted down at our gaff.

Anyway to the fishing,the last few days down here have been very mild and we have had plenty of rain so I expected to be in with a chance of my first Barbel of this year.That was until I woke up today around 05.00 and was met with a heavy frost.What's a man to do ? Swap your tackle for Pike gear,or just go and give it a whirl.As I've seldom done well at all for Pike on a cold and coloured river,it would be Barbel or bust.

That's what I did,I had four hours on the river fishing paste baits in various swims for not a sniff.The river was still up nicely and pushing through and a nice colour also.But it looked cold and uninviting.But I made a new friend and god do I need some,this little chap offered me advice on where to cast and how to bait up in return for some breakfast.In the end he was so cross with my poor angling he done an impression of Yosser Hughes(showing my age here).

And he took over for a while,while I just sat and watched.But no joy for Rodney either,but he will be on the river next Saturday he informs me,to offer more sterling advice.And it look's like next week is going to be very mild with temperatures up to 15 degrees in the day with plenty of rain.Shame I'm not retired yet,but I will try and get out after work on Wednesday If I can,that's after we stuff Birmingham on Tuesday night in the Carling Cup Semi-Final.

Still as ever nice to be out and in the sun it was very pleasant,so I'll not complain.Now I'll have to start getting the Sunday Roast on for my girls while having a bottle of wine or three.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 7 January 2011

Happy Anniversary Fatwa World

Phew what a great first year for the folk of Barbel Fatwa World,or is it Bitching Fishing World(Thanks for that Deano).Plenty of back slapping and high fives since the board went over from Yuku.But is it for the better ?

Around eight maybe nine years ago, I guess many of us used to post away with gay abandon on where we fished and what we caught.Angling forums were new and vibrant and the share and care was a great blast.After a couple of years though some people myself included started to wise up and shy away from posting our venues.Not because we caught ground breaking fish,but because we value, if you work all week some peace and quiet, at the weekend to get away from the real world.Many people did and still do I would assume,trawl river reports to find out what is coming out and where.

As time moved on the moderation(yes I know it's a thankless task Jon);-),got worse and worse and very specific areas were left for all to see on the river reports.When people had a moan other posters would say......"It's not YOUR river,your selfish for wanting all the fish to yourselves" Insert toss pots icon if you want to.Even the "Gruff" and I used to argue like cat and dog.But he does now agree with me.It was not all the fish we wanted but as I've said before peace and quiet.Is there noting better in angling than arriving at a new venue and getting your walking boots on and finding out for yourself ? So very many want it all on a plate.This is not just a Fatwa world faux pa,but other forums.I had a chuckle in the summer,over a guy on the Cemex forum who wanted some good Tench waters in the Colne Valley.What ? Take your bleeding pick mate!

No I agree with Steve Pope(Who'd have a thought eh Steve);-0,but angling forums have mostly had their day.It's to easy to give away to much.The legend that is Dick Downing once said to me"You have to protect your own fishing".And he was right.Not all forums though as the Pike&Pred forum can be a laugh,as can Pure Piscator. One should not take ones self to seriously on an angling forum,just have a chuckle.Though good 'ol Fatwa gives me a real belly laugh each time I look.So please stay as you are you wonderful, self absorbed, font off all knowledge,bunch of know alls.Not all I may add,but most could start an Internet ruck,on the most daft of questions.Like.......How does Boris swim ?

Now to the Ashes,not an awful lot to be said except my 2-1 bet went down.But I'd rather have done my dough,as I have done and had a 3-1 win as opposed to a 2-2.Well done and I'm looking forward to the Indian and Sri Lanker Tests in the summer.

FA CUP third round weekend to.God I wish I could be at Upton Park, the first round three game I've missed for years.But the Gruff is coming around to Chez Monty in the morning,to do a plumbing job.But needs and must's and all that.I do know that the Bard of BridgEnorth is off to Doncaster tomorrow,as Wolves take on Big Bad Bobs's team .I did hear Bob has hired a box to lay on a spread for the legend that is the Bard.I await the photo's as confirmation over the next few days, if you would be so kind.It should be a good game that and I reckon a Donnie win 4-0 ;-).

It's getting mild now down in the South so all the Boris squad will be playing with there meat late into the night.I hope to grab a few hours out on Sunday,not sure where yet though ?So if your out on the bank this weekend enjoy it.Or even at football have a safe journey to where ever your heading.It's Friday and I'm off for a cupla pints.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 2 January 2011


Now I'm not going to gloat after our win over Wolves yesterday.I was,as I'm sure the Bard of Bridenorth will testify very restrained and did not wind him up to much.A few years back I would have been murder to be truthful.Why ? Because the Premiership is really a load of old bollocks.

I paid 46 quid for a match ticket yesterday,and with beer a bet and food it was a 100 pound day out.As I've said before I gave my season ticket up around six or so years ago as their are to many poxy kick off times .I only really like to go football at 15.00 on a Saturday,give or take the odd midweek game.The days of being able to walk to the Boleyn Ground are long gone and now it takes around ninety minutes.

Were we fortunate yesterday ? Most definitely as watching MOTD this morning you would have thought Wolves were not really in it.But we are both very poor sides and I think the three who will go down are Us,Wolves and Fulham.But does it matter to me,well not a bit.Football for me is now about going and meeting mates who you grew up with.We all started going alone to football from the age of ten years old,after our Dad's took us when we were all younger.So we have known each other and our family's trials and tribulations for a long while.Mates you can depend on if need be.Though looking around the pub yesterday,some should grow up a little and go to bed earlier on New Years Eve.Fourty year old men all moaning and shaking like they were in an ice box.Stay off the narcotics lads and go to bed like I did at ten o'clock.And god was I on form ;-)

So most people I know would like us to go down.As most games in the lower leagues kick off at 15.00 on a Saturday.Sky has really killed the game,and I refuse to pay for it.It's for people who want to sit at home and "Enjoy" the experience of football.What a total load of bollocks that concept is.You can't move in some Premiership grounds for "supporters" taking photos of various players.

Now for us,we have Newcastle away in the week.Then Barnsley at home in the FA CUP on Saturday.And I fancy Barnsley to get a result as we have "Brum" a few days later in the Semi-Final of the worlds biggest Cup competition and our minds will be on that.Then Arsenal at home on the Saturday.After that we do not have a home game at 15.00 hrs on a Saturday until I think March.Now to me that is very,very poor.So if anyone thinks the Premiership is the "Be all and end all",trust me lads it's not.But I guess some of you who go football know that.

Don't get me wrong I'll always love West Ham,it's where I'm from.The club along with most clubs are the fans.Not the owners or players,they come and go.But I fear Sky will just get stronger and stronger.So here is to going down and hopefully getting cheaper tickets in the future,as this is the worst West Ham side I've seen for years and years.And for the "Plastic" fans,who wear the shirts of various clubs and have never been in their lives.Take a look in the mirror,and tell me if you are true Man Utd,Chelsea or Liverpool fans.Na I thought not.

Be Lucky

Monty D