Friday, 31 December 2010

Last Fish Of The Decade

I was going to fish today,then I was not.Gruff popped around to Chez Monty's yesterday to have a look at a little plumbing job he is going to do for me,in the next couple of weeks.He also had his stunning six month old Ridgeback "Puppy" with him.And what a lovely dog she is to,made me realise how much I miss the old boy who was put to sleep in April.We, I think are ready soon for another dog.

Gruff had done the rounds and most rivers were still high,cold and just full of crap.So I thought I'd not bother.But I got a call around noon yesterday from a mate who had caught two Barbel from a river near us.It's a chalk stream,that runs off quickly and is normally a fair few degrees warmer than most rivers, owing to warm water that gets pumped in. So I nipped out and bought two pints of gentiles.

Not a real early start today,and I was only going to stay for around three hours.I rigged up with a small feeder,six pound hook length and a size 14 'ook.I had a couple of small Dace early on then it went quiet.I was on the verge of packing up when the quiver tip,jagged around a little then went right round.And I had a fairly spirited scrap from this very silvery,winter conditioned Barbel.I even popped her on the scales and she went 8lbs exactly and to be honest I'm pleased as punch.Bloody muddy out though as you can see from the photo and I hate getting caked in mud,really do.

So that is my last fish,from this decade.What will the next ten years bring ?I will not ask for the earth but just to keep fit and keep fishing.But I've a long standing invitation to go and fish in Montana(Or is that the Montana of my youth),but we will see how the money goes first.I'm also looking to get a light lure outfit in the next month or so,to use on a couple of Crayfish infested rivers.Look's like Lumby will be getting a phone call next week.

And now to a little music to see us into the New Year.Now I understand my musical tastes are not everyone's glass of Malibu (Remember that ?),god what an Essex drink that was/is. But I was very lucky to have been brought up in a home of music.So I like lot's of different genres ,though lean towards my Reggae and Soul.

Now Mrs Monty loves the reality music shows.Where as I do not,being a miserable old sort at times.And we had a right old heated discussion over Christmas about lady soul and jazz performers.For my Mary -J,she loves Angie Stone.To my Aretha,she loves Betty Jackson.Holiday for me,Ella for her.I'm sure you can understand this scenario as you discuss your musical favourites at home.But one thing we both agree on is this lady here.........The late,great and somewhat awkward Nina Simone.I know my parents where at Ronnie Scotts in 1984 when she recorded a live Album.And this song is our all time favourite and as the year passes I think it's very fitting.If your out tonight take care,I'm at home as I will be at Upton Park tomorrow for our game against Wolves.I'm sure Stevo,Jez and Rich know how important the game is. Surprised though that the Yam Yam massive are not making the trip down ;-).

So until next year,I will leave you with this sublime piece of music.




Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Soon Be Summer

Anyone else totally fed up with this weather ? And it's not even January yet,it does seem as though this horrendous cold spell has gone on for an incredibly long time.Most rivers that I fish are full of snow melt at present and look in piss poor condition.But I will cast a line on Friday come what may,as I need too like many I guess.Though in truth I do not expect a vast improvement in conditions as the ground is sodden.Still If I blank I'll not blame "Road Salt",just put it down to poor angling.

I've even phoned up and whisper this........A couple of commercial fisheries,I know I need a good whipping.To maybe try for some Perch but they are still frozen over and they look set to stay that way for a while yet.So here's looking forward to the summer and I'll not next season moan about it being to hot. But I will be looking to keep away from the rivers until the Autumn and just float fish for Tench and other species on a couple of club lakes that I'm looking to join, watching a float around some Lilly pads is something I've missed.Though it's pretty tough to find waters that are not aiming mostly to Carp anglers.Here is a nice summer weir pool on a syndicate I belong to.

What did you get for Christmas from your beloved ? I got the usual,a nice bag of goodies from Clarins.And two books one the latest CSG book and the other by John Gierach,entitled Trout Bum.I like John's books as he writes well.Many compare him to Yates but from across the pond and I'd heartily recommend him to you all.I did not get any angling clothing though and I would have liked some thermals to keep away the chill,though I've always believed you should dress the part when your fishing.Baseball caps and the like are just not cricket in Monty's eyes,it's just so unseemly.I found this today and this chap bares and uncanny resemblance to the "Yorkshire Ninja",Hobby.They could be brothers ;-)That man has the cut and dash of an angling dandy.Now quickly to the Ashes,it has been said elsewhere recently that it's a brave man to back against Australia in their own back yard.But as you know I did,a 2-1 win to England at a nice 9/1.So I hope we draw the next Test.That will pay all next years angling subs,so here's hoping as I've always said........ Fortune favours the brave. I do hope Ricky Ponting has a good match as I like the guy.His a pugnacious and proud man and I'd like to see him go out with a bang,as opposed to the various barbs he is getting at present.Easy to say though,from the position we are in now.I think I'll slip out for a pint or two now as the girls are at the sales, I had a late one last night and I'm still suffering.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Thank You/Merry Christmas

Just a very short one now as I guess most of us are pushed for time as the "Big Day"approaches.And after tomorrow I will be off line for a few days.Under the threat of "Go near that pissing blog of yours and your dead,OK babe"What can a man say to a request like that?

Firstly a few thank you's.To everyone who has looked in at my blog since it's inception back in March.To all those I've mocked I'll continue to do so,as I also mock myself.I have had, as I type this 42,446 page views in the last seven months.Not bad really for someone who is just a very average angler.I had to stick up the photo,as a certain individual who shall not be named,think Voldermort,queried If I had really 20,000 back in in the summer.Happy now ;-).But seriously I do hope you find something to amuse you a little.Be it jokes,the odd story or just honest accounts of my angling trips and it's often gross ineptitude.Blanked on Sunday and still have not got that Chub in the snow photo I covert so much.

Special thanks must go out to...........Tony Rocca who suggested I start this back in March as I did not think I had it in me.Being as my grammar and spelling are so poor,I'm a numbers man pure and simple.Thanks for giving me a push old chap.

Yeslling Ying,for the Yat Rock photo's as that is really him up the top.Cheers Butt.

Le Otterman,for his photo shopping skills never a request turned down.

And lastly Big Donnie Kev AKA "The Gruff",for all the running about you do for me.It's very much appreciated mate and I hope we can get out on the bank next week.Plus I want that poxy rod back ;-)These comments must not be read like Halle Berry's Oscar acceptance speech,well maybe just a wee tear.

And that as they say is that.I will leave you all now with my very favourite Christmas Carol of all time.Sung how it should be.

This is Monty Dalrymple,from up high on Yat Rock, wishing you ALL a very Merry Christmas to you and your family's.



Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 18 December 2010

The Beautiful South

It's not often in the South we get a good dollop on snow in a few hours.We had some yesterday and then today around 09.30 this little lot came down and it's still snowing now,so after we decked the halls of Chez Monty in it's fine festive colours,claret and blue naturally.I took a stroll to a local stream I fish every now and then to grab a few photo's.




I know it's not the best weather for casting a line,but it does make for some good photo opportunities.I do though fancy a few hours trotting in the morning if the snow abates a little,just to see If I can get that Chub in the snow photo that has always alluded me.But for now I'll make do with keeping warm and radio 4.

Be Lucky

Monty D


Friday, 17 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VI

What are the chances of seeing these fine fellows out on the bank at any one time ?If I was a betting man I would offer the odds to be very slim indeed.

Here we have The Ewok King of the Wolds, who can be found almost daily chuntering into his beard about the fooking snow this year.And how he and his wife Edith can't wait to get off this infernal earth rock.
And this fine chap of ample girth goes by the fighting name of Fred "I Only Retaliate" Bonney.He can now be found mostly on Fishingmagic, as his days over on Fatwa world are no more.I'm not sure who is more thankful to be honest.I think Fred has a much better deal.:-)

Now to THAT site again.One of the things with this inclement weather is that forum folk are going a little stir crazy.Sure you can't fish but you can go out for a walk? Take some nice photo's ?Read a book? Or go to the pub where I'm off to shortly for a couple of pints.

Or you could get very,very cross that Matt Hayes has the brass neck to charge 500 pounds for a day out fishing with him.You could follow like a heard of Lemmings and moan and groan on Fatwa World.Make yourself look petty and a complete "Lady's Front Bottom".What has it to do with anyone what Matt charges.If people wish to pay it is their money is it not.If Bobby Moore was still alive, I'd pay a hell of a lot more so my old man could have a round of golf with him.People will always moan if they can't afford it,it is jealousy in my eyes pure and simple.

Edward Barders coarse rods are now costing around 1200 quid.Mine cost a grand and I've had it for about two years now.People piss and moan about the cost of his rods.But no one makes you buy them do they ?Some people must though, as his order book is always full and that is no mean feat in these testing economic times.I saved like a madman for mine and done a hell of a lot of overtime.

People make choices with what they wish to do with any spare cash that they may have.But that fucking lot,will still be moaning about everything on mass for years to come.I bet though if Fatwa World were to sell lottery tickets for a day out with Matt, for lets say ten pound a go,that lot would snap them up.You see it's all piss and wind,heard mentality at it's worst.

Rant over.

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Whooo Hooo

That's me now finished work until the 05/01/11 and I'm feeling as festive as an Ebenezer Scrooge who has been giving a second chance on Christmas Day.Sadly the trip to the Hampshire Avon has been postponed for tomorrow as the snow and ice coming late in the day,may get the Gruff and I stuck eighty odd miles down the M3.But it is being reschedule for the New Year so fear not JAA you do not get off that lightly ;-)

So what book's do you chaps want for Christmas ? May I be so bold as to offer two of my favourites for your list of festive reading.Now I touched on this book Blood Knots, on this blog way back in May. I've now read it again and in my eyes you would be mad not to buy,beg or steal a copy of this book.Everyone who has read it has been blown away by the nature of the book.Various other bloggers and Internet forums have also offered it huge plaudits.You can pick it up in soft back for the princely sum of £8.99 at present.It's not your typical angling book but a charming story of a different era.Buy it or forever be cursed to damnation.


And this book is also from a different era and slightly more pricey coming it at a hefty £60.00 and a little at under 500 pages.

The Carp Catchers Club,produced by Medlar Press.I'll admit 60 quid for a book is quite expensive,but like most Medlar books it's produced to a very high standard.In essence its written in the form of a rotary letter,complied over the course of seven years from 1951 to 1958.And in this day of e-mail ruling the roost I doubt we will see this sort of book again.It has the illustrious names of Walker,Ingham,BB,Jack Smith,Harry Grief,Bob Richards,Pete Thomas,Venables,Fred J,Gerald-Beth Jones,Dick Kefford and John Norman.

It's really about the inception of how Carp angling took off in this country,with some lovely line drawings and photographs from days gone by.How the gent's pooled together thoughts on tackle,bait,bite indicators and the general behaviour of Carp.If your interested in the history of angling and Carp in particular I think you will enjoy this book.The closing chapter by Maurice Ingham makes the book worth buying in my eyes ,a sad lament if you will to lost friends and a lost time.

Moving on swiftly to our old friends at Barbel Fatwa World.We have had the monikers of "Boris","Beards","Old Whiskers" to describe the plain old Barbel.Well it hit new heights of mirth last week when a new poster described Barbel as ........."Bearded Brutes".It gets better though another poster welcomed him to the forum with this beaut......"Welcome to the circle of trust".Sounds like some homo erotic daisy chain for Boris forum folk.Still what ever makes you happy.

I hope to get another angling trip in early next week,but it's all dependant on the weather at present, like that for many of us I suppose ?So I'll make do with listening to the next Ashes Test from Australia and a wee dram or two for now.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Trotting Again

I thought I would have another go, running a float down the river again today and I arrived at the water around 07.00 intending to fish through until about 13.00.Nice mild day today with the air temperature around six degrees and did not even feel the need to wear a coat,just the bib&brace with a ruby shirt and a fleece. Obviously the ubiquitous warm hat was needed for those of us who are bald and indeed feel no need to have a comb over to cover this fact.Unlike others and you know who you are gentleman.


I baited a couple of runs with liquidised bread as it did not get light enough to run a float through for another three quarters of an hour.Shit myself a couple of times roaming about in the semi dark,as roosting Pheasants went belting off at all angles made jittery by my head torch.They got their just deserts later though,by the lads who were out shooting.

I've said before on here and to people I know that my "Trotting" skills are probably not as honed as many others.I'm fine on the slower rivers of my youth,with a small stick float.But the more vibrant and fast flowing rivers I struggle a little. Obviously not the Test and Itchen for those Trout and Grayling are a piss easy even for me.

Today I fished bread flake below a large Balsa float,and really enjoyed myself.After a couple of hours I seemed to be getting into the rhythm of things catching a few Dace and just trying different depths and stuff like that.

I also had this lovely Chub,I moved to a swim I baited earlier.Went a little over depth and more or less bounced the bait past a over hanging hawthorn bush.The float went under first time and a great scrap on light line and the 'Pin.Quite and odd shape this one and I reckon it may have munched on a few Crayfish in it's time ?So all in all an enjoyable few hours after the last few blank trips and it's nice to get the rod bent.I'm also due on the Hampshire Avon on Thursday all being well on the weather front.Not sure what to fish for now,Pike,Chub or Roach.

Moving onto Roach and anglers who REALLY know how to run a float through a swim,if you have not got this book it's a good read and by John Searle and friends.His second book after A Brush With The Avon.

I got this last Christmas from a mate of mine.Some of the Roach in this book will make you drool,and then some.Some great Roach anglers passing on their views,a mate recently had the pleasure of watching Dave Howes fishing and said he had never seen angler run a float through like it.Elegance personified were the words he crooned,or was that swooned ?


Now it's time for a wee dram I reckon.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 9 December 2010

A Lads Christmas

Jamie awoke early on Christmas Eve and looked out of his bedroom window,the snow was still laying in the valley that covered his Farthers farm.He thought I'll have a couple of hours Chub fishing before coming back home to enjoy the festivities.

He dressed and went down into the kitchen and grabbed a crusty fresh loaf that his Mother had recently baked. Shouldered his tackle and stepped out the back door.The cold took his breath away,but once he started off to the river he knew he would soon warm up.

His Farther was working and called out "No later than three o'clock OK son"."Yes Dad" replied Jamie and he was off across the farm land and down to the river.It looked cold and totally uninviting from an anglers perspective.Enough to chill even the most keen of fisherman.

Where will the fish be today he thought ?He walked the river and settled in swim that had an old Willow tree with it's bent limbs trailing in the water.That is where the Chub would be today he thought.He put in two small balls of liquidized bread and tackled up.

He cast out a large lump of crust that settled on the rivers crease.Time went very quickly as it always does when your fishing and no action had been forthcoming.He was now getting cold and decided on one last cast.Putting on a large lump of crust,the bait landed softly and fluttered under the Willow tree branches.

Jamie did not have time sit back,and the tip pulled around.He struck and was into a good fish,he could feel the line grating on the underwater roots.But slowly he was winning the battle,a little like the Old Man and the Sea.Ready for netting then.........."Oh Christ" for Jamie had forgotten his landing net in the haste to get on the river.

He then heard a voice"Need a hand young man ?"Jamie turned to see another angler behind him."Yes please" he stammered. The older angler used his net and the mighty Chub was swept into the safety of the mesh first time.

"Wow" they both said in unison.Jamie weighed this leviathan and it went an ounce over 5lbs.A new personnel best.He then set up his camera for a celebratory photo,and wanted the other angler in it also,as in Jamie's eyes it was his too.Photo's taken and Jamie packed up quickly as it was soon time to be home.

The two anglers walked across the meadow chatting as anglers do like life long friends,and when they arrived at the farm gate,Jamie thanked the angler for his help and bid him farewell.He raced inside and regaled his parents of his days angling and his new found friend.

"Now son" said his Farther."Not a soul has crossed our land today"."It's true" said Jamie and he raced up the stairs to print out the photo of his prize.His parents put it all down to youthful exuberance and the excitement of Christmas.

Jamie came running back down to his parents,holding his prize aloft.His parents were dumb struck.For as well as Jamie and the Chub,also in the photo was Jamie's late Grandfather.They all raced outside and looked longingly down the lane,but of course there was not a sight nor sound to be heard.

"Let's get back inside as it's cold" said Jamie's Farther.Jamie looked back down the lane and shouted"Merry Christmas Granddad" and on the breeze as the snow began anew came very softly"And to you dear boy and to you".




Be Lucky

Monty D

Monday, 6 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part V

What are the chances of ever seeing these two fine and somewhat stout fellows on the bank at any one time ?I'll wager not an awful lot to be honest.

Here we have Bolton funny man Peter Kay,trying to cast a Dry Flay,and making a hash of it.

And this chap here is Conrad Farlow,all round softly spoken gent from Barnsley who happens to be a whopping 45 today,not stone I hasten to add.Happy Birthday though mate and hope it's a nice evening for you both ;-0.


Also I have been getting a fair bit of stick over the photo below.This is actually MY advent calender,that my Mum sends me every year.Do I need to grow up now I'm getting on in life and not covert such things ?Not in my eyes,I love Christmas and I still open up the window every morning when I get up.No chocolates in this one this year though:-(

Lastly still cold here, but lets hope the rain holds off tonight in Adelaide so we can get the Aussies out and win the this Test Match.But It's looking wet I'm afraid and that will be a royal kick in the bollocks.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 4 December 2010

96 Degrees In The Shade

Well not quite to be honest but the temperature has turned much milder over night and the snow has started to melt.I decided yesterday I would have a couple of hours trotting for Dace today and bought some gentiles on the way home.

A little stream I can walk to was the venue,as I did not want to venture far as the snow is much deeper at a couple of my more regular venues.And with the words of Arthur Daley ringing in my ears "Monty,the world is your lobster my son" I set off just before first light.

And you can say my lobster was well and truly cooked.Not a bite to be had and in truth did not really expect much action.But like many other anglers we all need our weekly fix or we get damn right miserable.Well I do anyhow and I only saw one other angler and that was a Heron,who every time I crept near with a camera,flew away laughing.

Just a couple of little photo's from this morning.



With the snow melt under way,at least in the south you can in the coming week look forward to a couple of threads you know where,like this............"Does road salt put off the Boris" or "Will the Boris now start to feed" and maybe "Am I a sad twat for sitting at home".

Now to the real 96 Degrees in the Shade....


I love this song,very political and inspired by the Morant Bay Rebellion from 1865,that led to the hanging of Paul Bogle.It has a thumping base line to.With a little luck I'll be back in Jamaica next year visiting some of Mrs Monty's family.Not been over for a few years now and I love the place and the people.Her family reside in Manderville in the middle of the island,it's very lush and steamy.It's not known as the land of wood and water for nothing,away from the tourists also.

I'll now best get my self together and go and do some Christmas shopping for my girls.May even have a couple of pints of Old Peculiar while I'm out to warm the soul.Enjoy your weekend what ever you do.

Be Lucky

Monty D



Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part IV

Have you ever seen these two fine fellows below on the bank at the same time ? The chances are very,very slim that you will to be honest.

This here is intergalactic star force one,saving the world to infinity and beyond Mr.Buzz Light Year.And can the man do the Tango,what a pair of swivel hips.


And this fine fellow is all round specimen hunter Mr.Chris "The Pons" Ponsford.Often found creeping about on the Teme,playing Barbel on Youtube and managing to take product placement to a whole new level,by mentioning Korum every second breath ;-)


Anyway now the important stuff........

Upton Park last night was absolutely freezing and to be honest I did not fancy us to get a result.But old Red Nose decided to rest a good few players and in truth we totally deserved to win as comfortable as we did.

The atmosphere was like the night games of old.And it will be a huge mistake to move to the Olympic Stadium,it's just to large for a medium size club like us.Even if we were "flying",we would never really top 45,000 and that's being optimistic.Move the pitch over towards the West Side,and redevelop the East Stand and keep "The Chicken Run" in some guise.

I'm glad Spector had a blinder last night and he should have got MOTM,in my eyes as the lad has never scored prior to last night in 189 games and then get's two.I just hope we avoid Arsenal in the Semi-Finals as we will struggle to beat them over two legs.But in a one off game,then who knows ?

I still do not think it will "Kick Start" our season though as we are a poor side.And last night is best stored in the memory bank,as one to look back on.We play Man U at our gaff on the 11th of December and I'm sure it will be a totally different game.But today I'll just gloat,very softly as is my way ;-)

Getting home was a royal pain in the 'arris because of the huge amount of snow that has fallen near Chez Monty.A whole five inches and the South East comes to a standstill.And EVERYONE knew it was on it's way.

Still I'll not grumble today.

Be Lucky

Monty D