Well That's May Out The Way

I'll end this month on a positive note, as it's soon time to cut down my "Bloging" owing to the river season starting soon. More fishing and less posting of nonsense ;-).So instead of my inane ramblings every other day or so you'll only have to put up with them around twice a week or so,unless I spot something that makes me cross.And what doesn't ?

I'll include my angling trips(maybe),but not the venues as I feel that is unfair to other anglers.Unless busy day ticket places like the Royalty,where everyone knows about the venue.

Firstly well done to Tamim Iqbal who had a great "knock" at Lords yesterday for Bangladesh.I listened to Test Match special and it was some "knock".The lad scored 103 in a 100 balls.With 15 fours and two sixes.In the commentary box "Aggers" and "Tuffers" made the match sound great.They work well together.And Iqbal now gets his name on the Lords honours board for all eternity.I think most England supporters wanted him to get it,when he was on 71,and played a little shaky for a while.

Secondly to Dagenham and Redbridge for gaining promotion to League One,for next season after beating Rotheram United at Wembley yesterday.Our Milkman at work has been following them for years and years.So I'm well chuffed for him.Proper supporter,the guy.

Moving on.........I was in my local tackle shop yesterday to pick up some "bits".And it was bit's,just line and hooks for the new season but a few things caught my eye.

A packet of Nashy Fang hook's cost a fiver !Jesus wept that's bloody pricey.I also saw some leads that supposedly have a "weed covering" on them.Three quid a "pop" these.Not on your nelly lads would I be mug enough to buy these.Also does one now have to dress in an appropriate manner to go into an angling store ?Every one bar Monty was in green or camo,with ESP baseball caps on.Or Nashy this and ESP that.I felt under dressed in a polo shirt,jeans and a pair of of suede loafers.Perhaps I'm not hip anymore ?I'll come back to tackle shop etiquette later in the season as what I heard yesterday made me laugh.

I've added a few photo's to get us salivating for these last two weeks.And I would like to say I hope you all(yes even you):-) have a great and productive season.

As ever its just my view from Yat Rock.Phew I'll go for a pint or two now me thinks.

Monty D

Angling Guide

I had a very early morning walk today, along the river and to my total astonishment these "flyer's" were on every tree!I filled a bin bag full of the stuff!Does the angling world really need another guide ?

I'm not sure that it does to be honest.There are plenty out on the river with paying guests at the moment.And most do a sterling job I would assume ? I do not envy these guys to be fair,it must be quite an intense experience knowing you need/must catch for your guest.And it's something dear old Monty would never like to do.

Can you imagine having a paying customer,who you take an immediate dislike too,but you have to be pleasant to them, for what twelve hours or so ?No chaps not I,and more power to the guides elbow.

To the gent who left these every where.Firstly your style of "tiffter" needs addressing.And you best not be caught on the bank opposite my club water next season!Apart from that I hope you make a few bob.

I also started my little pre-baiting campiagn(Oh I love that word),not to much bait though.I would not want the wrath of my fellow angler!

If I were Graham Elliot I would be worried.

Monty D

PS No wanking anglers either ;-)

Blog Wars a New Chapter ?

Anyone remember Barbel Wars from a few years back on various angling forums ?Well I was just heading off to the pub and took a call from my contact Rankin Dread,from Tivoli Gardens.

"Monty,wha gwan me breddah ?""Listen Star, news a reach me of a new development in da Blog world.""People dem wan fe mash down certain individuals,via dem blog fe real dread""Nuff,nuff people get vex fe true,over certain tings,seen"

"So you better watch ya back,cau big tings a gwan"."Monty me hafe dash me deh pon runnings"

Then the phone went dead.So I thought this song by Bob Marley would get us all ready for something that will make Barbel Wars,seem tame.

Monty D

Fridays Tip

Christ these come around quick do they not ?Anyway I'm afraid for those of you, who are well lacking in culture it's back to Radio 4.I seldom watch television these days unless it's 'Orse Racing,as I love a bet.

So if you are at a loose end on Saturday at 21.00hrs,tune in and relax.For an hour they are playing from their Neglected Classics:The Snow Goose.Written by Paul Gallico and dramatised by Nick Warburton.Now I heard this last Sunday afternoon while preparing the dinner,and it soothed a trouble Monty after that frightful chap I saw on the river !

Cracking book to.First published around 1941 I think and many times there after.It's about a wounded bird amid the horrors of the Second World War,the Dunkirk evacuation,very apt after yesterdays 70th Anniversary! Oh and chuck in a disfigured artist.What's not to like ? I read this first at school a long while ago now.It's seems to be a theme of mine that I like nostalgia.Can't think why ?Anyway you'll like it I'm sure.

This weekend I'll be out for a spot of float fishing for Tench.And walking a syndicate beat or two that I've joined for this coming season.I will keep an eye out for any skulduggery though,you can be sure!I'll also start a little pre-baiting with my home rolled specials,not a lot.Just around half a kilo,every couple of days before the off.

Anyway enjoy your weekend(even those who would like to see me dismembered),and what ever you do,do it well.Oh yes the picture at the top,taken on opening day on the Kennet.Just a cheap camera that I still use,but it's my all time favourite.

Monty D

Nearly Time

Well this close season has flown by and it was suggested to me in the week,by a well known angler from Sussex"Your getting older now mate,your 40 and the seasons just melt into one,so best make a note of things and enjoy it"
I do not do targets anymore and it's a drain.I'll not lie and say I do not want to catch big fish of all species.Pike being my favourite quarry for the last two seasons,Barbel being put on the back burner owing to my perceived view of how artificial the species has become.I still like fishing for Barbel,but it's lost it's gloss in so many ways.It seems to be the "be all and end all" for so many river anglers these days ?But it does leave other species for us anglers who may be more rounded ?That's just my view though.

I would like a river 20 lb Pike and maybe a corking Roach or two.But If I do not get that then I'll not worry.We should not really wish the season away,but I'm looking forward to the Autumn.My favourite time of the year on the river,less anglers and my own thoughts.

I have a few new permits for next season,with some invites for further a field.And also a couple of days here,in the photos at the top of the blog.The Compound Weir on the Royalty.The top picture is looking over to "Jacks" on the far side.And the second one is down towards "Hayters",with the moon rising in October.It's a great place for a social with a couple of friends.That's what it's about.Oh and we can take the piss out of each other all day long.We may be seen to be a bunch of wankers my mates and I to some ?As we can see the "Wheat from the Chaff".But most people I do fish with are decent anglers,who can make their own luck.And enjoy working things out for themselves.That's all the fun is it not ?Or is it better to be put on fish ?

As ever it's just my view from Yat Rock.


Monty D

Ps Double click on the photo's they get bigger.;-)

Jackson Browne - These Days

I'm led to understand my last "Blogg" about "Spawn Spotters" has hit a very sore point with the BS Forum,where it was posted.

Never mind lads listen to this and relax.

Monty D

Ps Popey sorry it's not the Boss.xxxx

It may not be your humour Steve,but plenty of your committee read this blog.If it offends you then do not read it,it's that simple.As you advocate on Bob Roberts Blog.

Dirty Bastards

It was a lovely morning so I thought I would take a walk along my favourite river as I had not been to look at her since last March.Water clarity was perfect and I saw plenty of various species looking very amorous.It surprising how much a river can change in a few months.It looked refreshed and replenished.

Would it look this way if the close season was abolished ?Anyway I was walking along and rounded a bend in the river to be confronted with a spectacle that will stay with me until my last breath.

Their,in full sight was a man,watching a shoal of spawning Barbel.Jogging bottoms round his ankles having a wank.I offed a cough to let this beast know I was behind him.He looked around with a look of pure panic on his face,he struggled to pull up his clothing and was off like a scalded cat.

But he left behind the evidence of whom he represented.Also he left a radio that I threw away in disgust.But it was still going and I heard the words"Agent Farmpton,agent Farmpton are you still with us ?""This is Spawn Spot HQ,are you still receiving over ?"

I have fished with some right characters over the passage of time,but never would I thought to have found such damming evidence on the bank,of something akin to bestiality.

Look at the magazine,in the photo.If it's encouraging it's members to act in this fashion,then I'm not surprised they are viewed with suspicion.It spoilt a good walk and frankly I need a lie down.

Monty D

Friday's Tip=Cold Socks and Colder Ale

As most who know me in the flesh so to speak,would say I'm a fan of a beer or two after work and maybe some wine ?A point I would not disagree with.But this week,well until Wednesday I was left a broken man.

The Monty households fridge freezer had broken down last Sunday.Ok we had to throw a fair amount of food away that had defrosted.No hard cheese really.But how would I chill my drinks ?

Step forward Mr.Tom,not the old one who took in kids during the war.But a Scotsman no less,with a chin and girth like Desperate Dan.

Mr.Tom "Monty what you need to do, is like we all did when we fished in India,for Masheer before that braggart Boot."
"Is to get your beverage of choice cool,soak a sock in the water,ring it out,then place your beverage in the sock and hang it from a tree"

Monty "What the hell,or some other expletive,your winding me up ?"

Mr.Tom "No mate it works,it's called precipitation"

And do you know what it does.Mrs Monty was over the moon to come home and see various socks hanging around the back garden,with my Ale keeping cool.God knows what the neighbours thought ?

Tom your help saved a bad case of the shakes and I am thank full your help old son.

So if your ever in trouble and need a cold one,get your socks off.

Monty D

Ps New Fridge plus Freezer arrived today,but you know what.I enjoyed the sock way.If your wondering why it took so long to get some new "White Goods".I had to get 12,000 Isralites to drag it up to the top of Yat Rock.I'm like Pharoe,you see.

Blood Knots by Luke Jennings

I purchased this book last Friday and finished it at lunch time today,after hearing it on radio 4's book of the week two weeks back.Now their are plenty of reviews both on-line and in the printed media,far more eloquent than I could ever offer.

But this is just a little review from me.This book contains the authors rites of passage growing up in Sussex.It has Angling,Falconry,World War Two and a host of others chapters that move around,but are still connected to the one story.In essence I suppose the way I read it, was that two men, had shaped Luke Jennings life.His late Farther who was a "member" of the Guinea Pig Club.And the soldier Robert Nairac who was beaten and ultimately killed by the IRA in the 1970's.

It's has in parts some moving moments(well it did for me).And some laugh aloud parts like this one, from an angry Farm charge hand about one of Jennings fellow labourer's in the school holidays,who had not shown up for work.Read it in a Sussex Burr "Cunt-'untin again ?""Worse'n a poacher's dog,that bye"

Miss this book at your peril.

Monty D

For Yessling Ying

Is this more to your likeing ?From the film Babylon,the scene where "Beefy" is trying to dance at the Wedding reception.I think this a a proper old lovers rock tune and very hard to get now.This is a with out a doubt a "Rice and Peas" Sunday song,and I love it.

Have it in the vinyl box :-}

Joy Division Atmosphere

Here it is.

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Wow 30 years ago today that Ian Curtis decided this place was not for him.Where does the time go ? And if you do not know who Ian Curtis was, then you have never taken copious amounts of drugs.

Favourite Monty tune ? Atmosphere!

Gone but very far from forgotten.


Be lucky Ian.

Do Beards Make You A Better Angler ?

Thinking today about the various famous anglers and those not so.How many of our real angling demi-gods have facial hair ?Let's take a quick look at the facts......


Christopher Yates-Beard.
Des Taylor-Proper Beard 'an all.
Sir.Peter Springate-Carp legend type beard.
Tommy Pickering-Little Tash but he were that good he gets in.

And then their is my mate Paul "Popsy" Whiteing.The one in the photo in the center.This picture was taken around fours years ago at the BS Conference.Now what this man does not know about Centerpin reels,is not worth knowing.He is a legend in his own garden shed.The man can moan for England ;-)

But If you see this man on the bank,I plead with you do not fish within a mile of him!He carry's the dreaded "Black Spot" of the angling gods.You have been warned.He will admit he did not really catch much last season.And I know he is keen to put that right.So this little blog I hope will make him get out more,and shove these words right down my throat ?

And on the subject of the BS "Do's".I did hear a naughty little tale about someone signing a petition,but using another anglers name ?At the "Running Water Show" on the 09/05/10.At present it's just hearsay and innuendo,but I'll see If I can get some more information.If it's true ?In the words of Danny Dyer "That's Pwoper Nawwteyy"

Popsy Whiteing go for it son.And I'll see you on the bank next season.

Monty D

Ps The two other lads Neil and Glen, did not happen to have the bad luck rub off on them.Phew.

Fridays Tip.......Boycott The Yat Rock Ritzy

Not far to go today to find a moan and 'Ting.Mrs Monty and I, had been for a nice lunch at the "Bobcat and Badger" and took a stroll back.We happened to pass the Yat Rock Ritzy Cinema.

And in bright letters across the front for tonight was....."Eyes Wide Open" World Premier tonight.I popped my head in and left very quickly, when I found out what the movie was about.Anyone remember Broken Back Mountain ?That done for Cowboys in the Midwest, for a long while after and even now they are viewed with suspicion.

"Eyes Wide Open" is about a homosexual relationship set in an Ultra-Orthodox,Jewish community in Jerusalem.Why oh why would a team sit down and write such a film ?What next ? Now I'll say right here,right now that I'm not anti-homosexual.I used to box at an armature club as a kid.One of the lads their was a gay lad about 17 ?He was not that good really, as he could not hold his hands up.He admitted he just liked getting batterd in the ring.


The quotes for this film are...."Incredibly Tense And Searingly Relevant"-Time Out.
"Superb,A Film Of Rare Haunting Power"-Daily Mirror."Quietly Devastating"-Variety.And this last one that quite frankly made me clench."Raw,Aggressive,Sensual and Seductive"-George Osbourne Tory Party.

I plan to hold a candle light procession outside the Ritzy tonight in protest.If you see a man with candles,dressed like the Pope(we know how pure the Catholic Church is),please come and say hello.

Monty D

Barbel Politics A Coalition ?

Sitting upon Yat Rock today a thought suddenly hit me right in the noggin.Until yesterday Gordon Brown and Steve Pope (Chairman of the Barbel Society),had a few things in common.I'll elaborate If I may,they could have more or less been two peas in a POD.

Both held positions for which they were not elected.Both have worked hard for their respective party's.They have both avoided "coups" to oust them.Steve more than Gordon I'll wager ? But they may have clung on like a stale limpet that little bit to long ?And instead of doing what's right for the greater good,they could not let go.Well until Gordon stood down yesterday with a great speech and even cold hearted Monty got a little glow in my tum.While Steve still hangs on!

Steve you must heed the words of Enoch Powell"All political lives,un-less they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture,end in failure because that is the nature of politics and human affairs".Go and be thought of well.

May I suggest a way forward ? I suggest you contact Dave Mason and Dave Burr of the Barbel Specialist Group and form a coalition to move the Barbel world into a new dawn.You are the man who can do this !Go out to a fanfare of applause and not with a knife in your back.

But be aware,do not let those crafty sods from the Still Water Barbel Society,from Dynamite Makins try and hijack the deal.Stand firm Steve in your long held beliefs.


Monty D

Gordon Has Gone

Now I'm not a fan of him and his policy.But that was a cracking sign off from the man.He had it spot on.He gave thanks for our armed forces in these troubled times.

But most importantly he praised his wife and family.Politics is a shite job and and the end of days we will hate the next Prime Minister ?So Gordon go and enjoy your kids,your wife and your life.

For where will we all be without the one's we hold dear.I hear now the Queen can be activated ?Where does one get a remote control for that ?

Monty D

Monday Morning Dreary Blues

Another awful cold and damp day, to start the week here from Yat Rock.When is Spring/Summer going to arrive ?
I wonder how the BS Spawn Watch is going ?Will the species have got their act together by the 16th of June ?Shall we abolish the close season(Nope I refuse to get involved in that one),every man and his Ferret has a point on that.Mostly bollocks.

I wish I could have a sunrise like the one in the picture to ease me into the week.Taken in the Autumn on the Itchen on a days Grayling fishing.

Mondays :-(

Monty D

Sniggs.......The Truth is out There

A fair few weeks ago I mentioned the word the Midland lads use for Eels,which is Sniggs.But know one could offer me an explanation as to why ?

Sitting here at work today the phone has just gone with a breathless Bard of BridgeNorth,who has been undercover for weeks trying to find out why.As ever it helps to read this in a strangled YamYam tone.I find it also helps to hang upside down like a Fruit Bat and hold ones nose.

BB "Monty,puff,pant wheeze.I bring you news of Sniggs"

MD "Go on"

BB "They are called fooking Sniggs because of the way they used to be caught"

MD "Is that it ?"

BB "No they used to Snigg them in the mesh with worms"

So now you all know.I do not think there is a more descriptive word for a fish in this land of ours.My deep gratitude goes out to BB and a years supply of Diet Coke and Pies will be sent from Yat Rock when I get home.

Monty D

Fridays Tip

Move to Sudan !

No really the Monty D family are now hastily packing to get a plane to Sudan.If you think things were bad under Labour ?Wait until the soppy bastards start to argue over who does what in this hung parliament.

Will shall be back in the Autumn when I assume another election will be called ?And we can go through this all over again.

Now where's me factor 30 ?

Monty D

Fuck The Election-Middle East Crisis

Yes I know this is a big day in the grand scheme of things and yes I have voted.But today from Yat Rock my Middle East correspondent has informed me of a grave,grave situation.

Egypt has run out of " 'Erbs"!A sudden fall in the supply of gear has sent prices spiralling.My contact Ali Akbar from the Yat Rock Tandoori tells me "This is very weird for Egypt and my supplier has told me he does not know what's going on ?" "And my old work friends back in Cairo have been telling me they can't focus at work".

Now in Egyptian culture smoking gear is ingrained in the local way of life.Indeed a novel from 1959 called Children of Gebelawi both heroes and villains puff.Ali tells me "Fucking 'ell Mr.Monty the place will explode if my breddahs don't get a good puff soon".

Most are convinced it's the work of the local Police,as they control most of the narcotic hash trade.It's like they have just turned off the tap.To supplement their meagre wages ?

Now we have problems here with a potential Lib/Lab mob trying to run Tings.But fuck me I've plenty of weed If need be.Mr.Obama I suggest you start dropping puff parcels from planes in Egpyt or you'll have an uprising their too.

I'm off now to roll a fat one,and listen to some Prince Lincoln and the Royal Rasses.


Monty D

Ps I voted Tory,but keep that quiet though.

Man City V's Scum

Just a quick one before I dash off to meet Black Berry man on the train!Good luck to Man City tonight against the Scum(Spurs).

I hate the Scum,more than anything.And the thought of seeing Harry "the bung" Redknapp in the Champions League next season fills me with dread.I've never met a Scum fan I liked.

They are in truth all snidey fucking wrong'uns.So good luck City.

Feel better for that,good day to you from Yat Rock.

Monty D

Smithers Jones,Blackberry Man and a Dead Queen

Every day Monday to Friday on my daily commute into work I am in my opinion surrounded by grade "A" pricks.Charles,Hugh and Bunty etc,etc.They race to get on the train and follow the same herd pattern.

Years ago it went a little something like this.....

"Pin stripe suit,Pink Shirt and Tie stops off at the corner shop to buy The Times"
"Good morning Smithers Jones,hows the wife at home ?"
"Did you get the car you've been looking for ?"
"Did you get the car you've been looking forrrrrrrrrr ?"

Now I could take that way back in the day.Head down in the paper.Not now oh no,everyone get's on the train opens the top of their Skinny Flat Decaf,and with a flourish start to look important with a Black Berry.Why ?Are you all so important you can't wait until you get in the office ?I will not have one full stop.You don't 'arf look a complete bunch of twats!They do not own you !

Where does a Dead Queen come into this ?I'm a dreamer and spend the commute looking out the window of the train thinking about shite.Today I thought about her Majesty,she is getting on a bit.And when she dies will we all get a day off to mourn as a nation ?

I hope when she does die,it's in the summer and hopefully when the rivers are back open.I enjoy a bit of still water angling,but running water is my preferred joy.So 'Liz don't you dare pop your clogs between March the 14th and June the 15th.

Monty D

Docter Feel Good And Some Nice Crucian Carp

Had a very good day out today with a mate on a little lake we know.You see I do actually fish for those who just think I talk utter bollocks on here.I set up with a rod and reel,mate used a Pole (Boo Hiss).

Had a few Tench to around 5lbs or so then started to miss bite after bite.Typical Crucian Carp bites,very fickle.Changed down to a 2.3 hook length and size 18 hook and just a small piece of Corn.Bingo a nice 'Cru of around 1.5lb.Then throughout the day the fish fed in fits and starts.You would get half an hours action,then slowly the bites would dry up.

Gentle feeding,note I said gentle none of that pile it in here!Brought them back on and ended up with a few more Tench,Roach,Rudd and Cru's.The best of all is pictured.This little beauty weighed in at 2.12,with three others over 2LB. All my fish came off the rod end around some Lilly Pads.

The best way to fish for these lovely little fish in my eyes.Some advocate "Bolt Rigs" as you get more hook ups ?

Where is the fun in that ?Glad I do not need to make a living at this game ?

Time for a beer.

Monty D