Friday, 17 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VI

What are the chances of seeing these fine fellows out on the bank at any one time ?If I was a betting man I would offer the odds to be very slim indeed.

Here we have The Ewok King of the Wolds, who can be found almost daily chuntering into his beard about the fooking snow this year.And how he and his wife Edith can't wait to get off this infernal earth rock.
And this fine chap of ample girth goes by the fighting name of Fred "I Only Retaliate" Bonney.He can now be found mostly on Fishingmagic, as his days over on Fatwa world are no more.I'm not sure who is more thankful to be honest.I think Fred has a much better deal.:-)

Now to THAT site again.One of the things with this inclement weather is that forum folk are going a little stir crazy.Sure you can't fish but you can go out for a walk? Take some nice photo's ?Read a book? Or go to the pub where I'm off to shortly for a couple of pints.

Or you could get very,very cross that Matt Hayes has the brass neck to charge 500 pounds for a day out fishing with him.You could follow like a heard of Lemmings and moan and groan on Fatwa World.Make yourself look petty and a complete "Lady's Front Bottom".What has it to do with anyone what Matt charges.If people wish to pay it is their money is it not.If Bobby Moore was still alive, I'd pay a hell of a lot more so my old man could have a round of golf with him.People will always moan if they can't afford it,it is jealousy in my eyes pure and simple.

Edward Barders coarse rods are now costing around 1200 quid.Mine cost a grand and I've had it for about two years now.People piss and moan about the cost of his rods.But no one makes you buy them do they ?Some people must though, as his order book is always full and that is no mean feat in these testing economic times.I saved like a madman for mine and done a hell of a lot of overtime.

People make choices with what they wish to do with any spare cash that they may have.But that fucking lot,will still be moaning about everything on mass for years to come.I bet though if Fatwa World were to sell lottery tickets for a day out with Matt, for lets say ten pound a go,that lot would snap them up.You see it's all piss and wind,heard mentality at it's worst.

Rant over.

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D


  1. To me it is by far the most successful angling forum to be found.Informative and very helpful to all anglers who fish for boris and Mr.Francis should get an OBE i think the man is a star.

  2. For a moment I thought it was a poodle!!



    How droll,no honestly how very droll indeed.


    Poor effort really,but I will let this one stay.The three others I did not publish tough.Fred Knows I'm only having a bit of fun and he gives it out and can take it back as do I.

    I've said before please feel free to rip me to bits it's the masochist in me.But if you want to play the game,at least make an effort.Not just blah,blah,blah.

    Is it to early to open the Port and Stilton ? Na it's Christmas ;-)

  4. Interesting comments on Matt Hayes, Jason.

    Were Matt to charge 80 notes a day, as some actually do (because that's what their status in the sport equates to), he'd be in such demand he would never actually have time to earn a living.

    If he did no guiding at all he'd be accused of being a stuck-up knob!

    It should also be remembered Matt now lives in Norway for a good half of the year.

    In reality, do you ever see Matt touting his guiding business? No. The reason being is he doesn't actually want to be a full-time guide. I suspect you'll find he allocates 10 or 20 days each year and sets a price that will deter all but those who are really serious.

    I went on a Jamie Oliver cooking course recently along with about a dozen other souls. Jamie wasn't actually there, nor did I expect him to be....

    If you go on a 'star' golf, tennis, cricket coaching session you will be part of a group and the 'name' might turn up for an hour if you're lucky.

    Many paying guests (coarse anglers) expect a huge amount in return for their investment:

    They expect to meet the star/ coach at an early hour.

    They won't be happy fishing a rubbish swim or one where there are pleasure anglers in every direction - a bit of exclusivity is the true aspiration.

    They expect the fishing costs to be covered, plus bait, and maybe use of tackle and consumables like hooks, feeders, leads and so on.

    In many cases, lunch.

    They expect to be placed in a can't fail swim.

    They expect constant attention.

    They expect the coach to be with them for at least 8, probably 10 hours.

    They expect the coach to pay all his own fuel and transport costs.

    They expect him to swallow all preparation costs, advertising, administration, etc.

    Now compare that with the cost of a very average plumber or electrician. Call out charges, materials, transpot and overheads are all heaped on the client. You'll be lucky to see change out of £300.

    Compare it with a local golf club professional, or book a fly fishing lesson. How does £40 an hour sound for someone you've never previously heard of?

    Guests conveniently forget that the few genuine professional anglers do actually have to pay income tax, insurance, not to mention purchasing, taxing and insuring a vehicle, and then of course there are fuel and maintenance costs.

    I'm not suggesting top anglers should be entitled to image rights (a la football) but in their own field of endeavor they are the stars who appear in TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, books and DVDs. They also front live shows, travel the country to deliver talks and so on.

    To complain that any individual is charging a respectable fee for what is frequently quite a tough day's work says everything about the guy who's complaining, but then again, he's probably had a lifetime's practise...!

    Strangely you seldom hear a word of complaint from those who actually pay the fees. They probably recognise that they are getting a very special experience.

  5. You saw me mention Port and Stilton and popped right up,go on admit it ;-).

    I've said before everything is worth the price, to what an individual is prepared to pay.I just can't understand why people piss and moan over what people charge.

    Had many a golf lesson,when I used to play up to three times a week.But angling won out,just a well really.

    No I honestly think it's just petty jealousy why people moan.I'd love a days Pike fishing with Mick "The Duke" Brown.What would I pay for that ? Happily pay 250.00,every one I know who has met the man says he is a gent.I know Lumby look's in here,put in a good word for me eh Dave please ;-)

    But I must say Fatwa World does give me some bloody good ammunition,when I feel the need ;-)

  6. Monty
    To be honest it's wonderful to be in such demand one can choose when one wants wants to work. How lucky are some.

    I see some Hotel fishing breaks have reduced from 2 per year to one per year. That's showbusiness...or as they say....break a leg!!!

    I feel sorry for those numptys following the "pile it in" mantra of the "special one"
    Why or why did they not mention the variables that need to be considered? Bit cold innit love...

    Time to settle down and watch the TV......(if you have one) apart from a bit of grayling fishing maybe.


  7. Monty
    I notice that some guides have reduced their Hotel fishing plans from two to a single event this season. It's tough out there. I guess thats showbusiness and as they say...... Break a leg!!

    Matty is good fun to watch...if you have a working TV of course . I agree with your thoughts on Mick Brown, seems a great chap. Mind you if he told me all the hard work he's expected to do just to take me fishing I think I would say "Piss off" to be honest.

    Anyway, walked over the Loddon yesterday on a bridge of uneaten boilies and pellets, some idiot had read somewhere that you "pile it in" and was told they either all get eaten up or dissolve in a few minutes.

    Grayling Sunday I think.


  8. "G"
    I do of course have a TV.But can't afford SKY to watch the "Ashes".So being a bit of a "maverick" like you I'll follow it on TMS.

    I'll save the Sky,plastic football fan,sport bod for another day ;-)

  9. Had a few pints of Loddon tonight. It's a nice pint.

    Find it if you can.


  10. If you want to pay Matt Hayes (or anyone) to guide, then do it. If you don't, well don't.

    Same for Barder Rods, if you like them and want to pay, great. If you don't, fair enough.

    But honestly, bleating about it like a girl? Who the fuck are you? And really who cares? And does the fence hurt your arse?

    (it's late, whisky has been consumed, fuse is short).

    England can chase 300, they need a few quick wickets Monty...

  11. Hey J, I know it mate, no harm in it.
    Glad to see you don't let the midges have their little bit of a nibble......sometimes.
    Especially those that pass off the guiding experience day with, how to fill a feeder ;o)

    A great Christmas to you and all my fans .

  12. How much for a day with Bob Roberts?

  13. ...................and a happy new year! :-)

  14. I reckon it would be at least £250.

    He would need to pay you.

  15. Why pay me ? Lost me with that one.

  16. Keep up Monty, I think Annon was aluding to the fact that no one would wish to fish with Florin without payment. Can you imagine the whole day of "I am this and I am that" on and on and on.


  17. 17th. was too early for me, Monty, the damned Neal's Yard delivery hadn't happened!

    However, come the Winter Solstice (and coincident beautiful total Lunar Eclipse this morning), TNT got their act together, Highways Agency cleared the roads and 2 large wedges of Colston Bassett finest arrived this evening.

    Now the LBVR port can be opened!! Whooo Hoooo indeed,