Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Smart Arse

That's me an out and out smart arse.Always think I know best,ear to the ground and stroke puller par excellence.So there you are in work on Monday morning,fed up ahead of another tedious week of dross and boring talk from your co-workers(David Brent Speak)Crunts.Who you secretly loathe.Then you hear that the big "Bosses" are in the Middle East all week.

Your ears prick up and a much long forgotten dentist appointment, appears for Wednesday at 13.00.But you and I know, you are off to the river.Tackle was sorted out Tuesday evening for Barbel.Changed my mind today and got home and got the Perch tackle ready.Lobs out of the fridge.MKIV and 'Pin loaded with 5lb line and your off.

Your on the river by 14.00,wind in your hair if you had any.Life is good,you laugh in the face of the of those still at work.Then it goes tit up......

You land this after an hour on your Perch gear.Good fight,nice fish and swim recked to buggery.But you were left alone here from Crayfish unlike Sunday.Though it bodes well for another day.

You then move swims.And you get hammered by Crayfish.You swear,you gesticulate to the heavens and ask "Why me,why oh why".Then a small field mouse pops his head up and says...."Because your supposed to be at work that's why !"Bang to bleeding rights.He then saunters off like he owns the gaff.

What can one say ? I also had two Chub,but no Perch,it was like an early summers afternoon.Perhaps next week I'll go down with my Barbel gear and get a brace of 4 plus Perch ?

And the moral is ? Don't take the piss.

Monty D


  1. Tis alrite Monty,that genetically modified gudgeon, if you try for other species more often, you'll get plenty of them...

  2. Ah,it's always nice to catch on a 'sicky'..I once fished so close to my workplace that I was able to get provisions sent out from the canteen...As for talking rodents, there are a few on some of the waters I frequent,these ones have two legs though....regards Gurn

  3. You were very unlucky not to have seen the unicorn that frequents that stretch.

  4. Don't take the piss? You'd be left mute matey. Anyway, cold wet weather on the way, say bye bye to the long summer days and hello to worming for perch.

  5. aah worming for perch

    jumpers for goalposts

    short trousers and wellies in the snow


  6. Will,

    Thankfully not often.


    Better luck away from the two legged variety down at Redmire.A mate has tried and failed these last few years to get through on the phone line,when the bookings open.


    I'm hurt that you think that ;-(.I'm going to try this Saturday to get some large Chub On Bread Crust,back on the Perch next week.

    Jumper for goal posts ? I'm not that old ;-0

  7. Monty

    will you be in the Red Lion Friday evening?


  8. George,

    Alas not.When I was told of the dates for this years "Do".I thought it was the weekend for when "Baby Bakes" went away to University.And I wanted to ne home for Mrs.Monty.I got the dates wrong.

    Gutted to be honest.But I hope you all have a good time.Well I know you will.I spoke to Conrad today and said how much I wished I was going.Next year for sure.

    Catch loads and be lucky ;-).Oh and may moderation be your guide on the Ale front.Or Red wine ;-)

  9. Monty dear chap, shame we wont get together this weekend along with the Bard but hopefully another time eh. Better luck with the Perch next time i'm sure a wee beastie will come your way.

  10. Shrop,

    Gutted mate to be honest as this has been in the planning for a while.But "Gruf" has been called home to Donnie,as his mother has been taken ill.That put my attendance up the swanie.But we will try again.

    I've stopped at Morrisons on the way home and bought a box of Mackeral and a box of Sardines.So I now need to bag these up,and get my Pike ready for a trip to the Thames in the morning.

    Once again,sorry for the ;ate cancellation.xx

    PS Rich it does mean I get to eat the present I bought you.