Ok I've kept this quiet but feel it must be told...............
Last Saturday down the river I was in my element.No anglers just wildlife and my own dreams.Around 21.00hrs I heard "Oi Monty can I have a word ?"I looked behind me and saw not a thing.Mind playing tricks again Monty old boy.Then again "Monty,please we would like a word"
I looked around again,nixy bleeding poo as Del Boy would say.Then a tap on my shoulder.It was a Roe Deer,"Excuse me please Monty,but the animals of the wood and stream would like a word"."Would you mind following us ?".Who could refuse such an offer?
I walked along and went through a Copse and into a large clearing.A large round table was surrounded by various animals.Otters,Fox,Badgers,Rabbits and even a Unicorn.I must be honest and thought "Acid flash back,Acid flash back".
The Unicorn addressed the masses."I bring you man to vent your anger,but be kind as he can see beyond the rants of the Forum Clown".Bloody hell I thought is this for real ?
Mr.Badger who went by the name of "Barrignton the Dark" was the first to address me."Mr.Monty look we are really pissed off being blamed for Bovine TB,It's you humans and intensive farming,what say you ?""Well I'm not sure to be honest Barrington, but will look into it OK ?"That seemed to placate him.
For the next hour I listened,to the concerns of the various animals and there thoughts ,each had a good point.Rabbits,Squirrel,Muntjac,Weasel etc,etc.
Then lastly Mr.Octavius Otter(who had a very substantial mustache),got up and stood on the plinth to speak."We Otters are not to blame Monty,for your downturn in fish stocks on various rivers"."Oh yes we are far,far to many now you know,but bloody mankind has deemed it best to intervene again"."But how can I be happy to see my people culled, due to mankind's meddling ?"
How could I argue ?Mankind in Montys opinion,always rapes nature for financial reason and then seeks to blame others ?I could not disagree with the animals sentiments.I was then told by a "Wood Sprite" that I could get a ride back,on the Unicorn,as way of thanks for listening.
We trotted back through the now darkening wood.And I was back at my swim,but the Unicorn who went by the name of "Farsong" told me "This will be but a dream,but remember Monty,It's mankind and not us,It always is"."We just want to excist,not to expand,that is mankinds way".Then she was gone.
Mankind eh ?It's a sod.