Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Smithers Jones,Blackberry Man and a Dead Queen

Every day Monday to Friday on my daily commute into work I am in my opinion surrounded by grade "A" pricks.Charles,Hugh and Bunty etc,etc.They race to get on the train and follow the same herd pattern.

Years ago it went a little something like this.....

"Pin stripe suit,Pink Shirt and Tie stops off at the corner shop to buy The Times"
"Good morning Smithers Jones,hows the wife at home ?"
"Did you get the car you've been looking for ?"
"Did you get the car you've been looking forrrrrrrrrr ?"

Now I could take that way back in the day.Head down in the paper.Not now oh no,everyone get's on the train opens the top of their Skinny Flat Decaf,and with a flourish start to look important with a Black Berry.Why ?Are you all so important you can't wait until you get in the office ?I will not have one full stop.You don't 'arf look a complete bunch of twats!They do not own you !

Where does a Dead Queen come into this ?I'm a dreamer and spend the commute looking out the window of the train thinking about shite.Today I thought about her Majesty,she is getting on a bit.And when she dies will we all get a day off to mourn as a nation ?

I hope when she does die,it's in the summer and hopefully when the rivers are back open.I enjoy a bit of still water angling,but running water is my preferred joy.So 'Liz don't you dare pop your clogs between March the 14th and June the 15th.

Monty D


  1. ..got a blackberry myself, but I don't have an office job. My personal pile of sh1te mounts steadily if not attended at every handy moment in lounges, trains and coffee shops....but if you commute daily, I'd say get a life. I'd rather read a book, usually do. I hate the twats who walk onto a plane still talking and wait until the last possible moment before shutting the fu*k up.

    I had a bloke working with me who had to answer his phone (1) I'm talking it's rude. (2) Who's in charge here, you or the phone?

    BBerry stays in the study when I knock off for the evening. Now as it happens. Tea-time.

  2. Yessling Ying4 May 2010 at 18:55

    Monty, I never cease to be amazed by the strange way your mind works ! Blackberrys, schmackberrys, I'll stick to my cheap little pay as you go phone, as I know my station in life.

    Here's a thing. Would the Royalty fishery stay open when Liz's state funeral takes place ? Or would they shut it as a right royal show of respect ?

  3. JAA,

    You travel all over the world so it's needed,how is Lagos these days ?But the people on the train,well it's only a sodding 35 minute train journey.

    Yessling Ying,

    The Royalty will stay open!Did you see the three clowns in the Compound Weir last July ?Window Lickers to a man!They have no qualms these days who tread those banks.

  4. ..well that's my point, I actually need mine ;-). Europe only though not Lagos. Personal use is a cheap PAYG...and if I got the order of the Spanish Archer, that'd be the only one I'd use.

    It's just dick size though, like the big red car and the braces of the 80's, the expensive phone say "my dick's bigger than yours". I need a business accessory that says, "put yer dick out a bit further and I'll cut the f*cker off".

  5. JAA,

    Glad I'm hung likean Elephant then. :-)

  6. Elephant Man or elephant Monty? ;-)

  7. Note ste self.......Do not rush to catch your train,go to work late and concentrate on your blog. :-)

  8. The phone is such an impatient thing, when it rings it sits there saying "answer me, answer me, answer me" until you pick the bloody thing up and answer it.

    A ringing phone must be answered!

    Remember when yo used to go fishing and not be disturbed............. i can just!