Friday, 31 December 2010

Last Fish Of The Decade

I was going to fish today,then I was not.Gruff popped around to Chez Monty's yesterday to have a look at a little plumbing job he is going to do for me,in the next couple of weeks.He also had his stunning six month old Ridgeback "Puppy" with him.And what a lovely dog she is to,made me realise how much I miss the old boy who was put to sleep in April.We, I think are ready soon for another dog.

Gruff had done the rounds and most rivers were still high,cold and just full of crap.So I thought I'd not bother.But I got a call around noon yesterday from a mate who had caught two Barbel from a river near us.It's a chalk stream,that runs off quickly and is normally a fair few degrees warmer than most rivers, owing to warm water that gets pumped in. So I nipped out and bought two pints of gentiles.

Not a real early start today,and I was only going to stay for around three hours.I rigged up with a small feeder,six pound hook length and a size 14 'ook.I had a couple of small Dace early on then it went quiet.I was on the verge of packing up when the quiver tip,jagged around a little then went right round.And I had a fairly spirited scrap from this very silvery,winter conditioned Barbel.I even popped her on the scales and she went 8lbs exactly and to be honest I'm pleased as punch.Bloody muddy out though as you can see from the photo and I hate getting caked in mud,really do.

So that is my last fish,from this decade.What will the next ten years bring ?I will not ask for the earth but just to keep fit and keep fishing.But I've a long standing invitation to go and fish in Montana(Or is that the Montana of my youth),but we will see how the money goes first.I'm also looking to get a light lure outfit in the next month or so,to use on a couple of Crayfish infested rivers.Look's like Lumby will be getting a phone call next week.

And now to a little music to see us into the New Year.Now I understand my musical tastes are not everyone's glass of Malibu (Remember that ?),god what an Essex drink that was/is. But I was very lucky to have been brought up in a home of music.So I like lot's of different genres ,though lean towards my Reggae and Soul.

Now Mrs Monty loves the reality music shows.Where as I do not,being a miserable old sort at times.And we had a right old heated discussion over Christmas about lady soul and jazz performers.For my Mary -J,she loves Angie Stone.To my Aretha,she loves Betty Jackson.Holiday for me,Ella for her.I'm sure you can understand this scenario as you discuss your musical favourites at home.But one thing we both agree on is this lady here.........The late,great and somewhat awkward Nina Simone.I know my parents where at Ronnie Scotts in 1984 when she recorded a live Album.And this song is our all time favourite and as the year passes I think it's very fitting.If your out tonight take care,I'm at home as I will be at Upton Park tomorrow for our game against Wolves.I'm sure Stevo,Jez and Rich know how important the game is. Surprised though that the Yam Yam massive are not making the trip down ;-).

So until next year,I will leave you with this sublime piece of music.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Soon Be Summer

Anyone else totally fed up with this weather ? And it's not even January yet,it does seem as though this horrendous cold spell has gone on for an incredibly long time.Most rivers that I fish are full of snow melt at present and look in piss poor condition.But I will cast a line on Friday come what may,as I need too like many I guess.Though in truth I do not expect a vast improvement in conditions as the ground is sodden.Still If I blank I'll not blame "Road Salt",just put it down to poor angling.

I've even phoned up and whisper this........A couple of commercial fisheries,I know I need a good whipping.To maybe try for some Perch but they are still frozen over and they look set to stay that way for a while yet.So here's looking forward to the summer and I'll not next season moan about it being to hot. But I will be looking to keep away from the rivers until the Autumn and just float fish for Tench and other species on a couple of club lakes that I'm looking to join, watching a float around some Lilly pads is something I've missed.Though it's pretty tough to find waters that are not aiming mostly to Carp anglers.Here is a nice summer weir pool on a syndicate I belong to.

What did you get for Christmas from your beloved ? I got the usual,a nice bag of goodies from Clarins.And two books one the latest CSG book and the other by John Gierach,entitled Trout Bum.I like John's books as he writes well.Many compare him to Yates but from across the pond and I'd heartily recommend him to you all.I did not get any angling clothing though and I would have liked some thermals to keep away the chill,though I've always believed you should dress the part when your fishing.Baseball caps and the like are just not cricket in Monty's eyes,it's just so unseemly.I found this today and this chap bares and uncanny resemblance to the "Yorkshire Ninja",Hobby.They could be brothers ;-)That man has the cut and dash of an angling dandy.Now quickly to the Ashes,it has been said elsewhere recently that it's a brave man to back against Australia in their own back yard.But as you know I did,a 2-1 win to England at a nice 9/1.So I hope we draw the next Test.That will pay all next years angling subs,so here's hoping as I've always said........ Fortune favours the brave. I do hope Ricky Ponting has a good match as I like the guy.His a pugnacious and proud man and I'd like to see him go out with a bang,as opposed to the various barbs he is getting at present.Easy to say though,from the position we are in now.I think I'll slip out for a pint or two now as the girls are at the sales, I had a late one last night and I'm still suffering.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Thank You/Merry Christmas

Just a very short one now as I guess most of us are pushed for time as the "Big Day"approaches.And after tomorrow I will be off line for a few days.Under the threat of "Go near that pissing blog of yours and your dead,OK babe"What can a man say to a request like that?

Firstly a few thank you's.To everyone who has looked in at my blog since it's inception back in March.To all those I've mocked I'll continue to do so,as I also mock myself.I have had, as I type this 42,446 page views in the last seven months.Not bad really for someone who is just a very average angler.I had to stick up the photo,as a certain individual who shall not be named,think Voldermort,queried If I had really 20,000 back in in the summer.Happy now ;-).But seriously I do hope you find something to amuse you a little.Be it jokes,the odd story or just honest accounts of my angling trips and it's often gross ineptitude.Blanked on Sunday and still have not got that Chub in the snow photo I covert so much.

Special thanks must go out to...........Tony Rocca who suggested I start this back in March as I did not think I had it in me.Being as my grammar and spelling are so poor,I'm a numbers man pure and simple.Thanks for giving me a push old chap.

Yeslling Ying,for the Yat Rock photo's as that is really him up the top.Cheers Butt.

Le Otterman,for his photo shopping skills never a request turned down.

And lastly Big Donnie Kev AKA "The Gruff",for all the running about you do for me.It's very much appreciated mate and I hope we can get out on the bank next week.Plus I want that poxy rod back ;-)These comments must not be read like Halle Berry's Oscar acceptance speech,well maybe just a wee tear.

And that as they say is that.I will leave you all now with my very favourite Christmas Carol of all time.Sung how it should be.

This is Monty Dalrymple,from up high on Yat Rock, wishing you ALL a very Merry Christmas to you and your family's.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 18 December 2010

The Beautiful South

It's not often in the South we get a good dollop on snow in a few hours.We had some yesterday and then today around 09.30 this little lot came down and it's still snowing now,so after we decked the halls of Chez Monty in it's fine festive colours,claret and blue naturally.I took a stroll to a local stream I fish every now and then to grab a few photo's.

I know it's not the best weather for casting a line,but it does make for some good photo opportunities.I do though fancy a few hours trotting in the morning if the snow abates a little,just to see If I can get that Chub in the snow photo that has always alluded me.But for now I'll make do with keeping warm and radio 4.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Friday, 17 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VI

What are the chances of seeing these fine fellows out on the bank at any one time ?If I was a betting man I would offer the odds to be very slim indeed.

Here we have The Ewok King of the Wolds, who can be found almost daily chuntering into his beard about the fooking snow this year.And how he and his wife Edith can't wait to get off this infernal earth rock.
And this fine chap of ample girth goes by the fighting name of Fred "I Only Retaliate" Bonney.He can now be found mostly on Fishingmagic, as his days over on Fatwa world are no more.I'm not sure who is more thankful to be honest.I think Fred has a much better deal.:-)

Now to THAT site again.One of the things with this inclement weather is that forum folk are going a little stir crazy.Sure you can't fish but you can go out for a walk? Take some nice photo's ?Read a book? Or go to the pub where I'm off to shortly for a couple of pints.

Or you could get very,very cross that Matt Hayes has the brass neck to charge 500 pounds for a day out fishing with him.You could follow like a heard of Lemmings and moan and groan on Fatwa World.Make yourself look petty and a complete "Lady's Front Bottom".What has it to do with anyone what Matt charges.If people wish to pay it is their money is it not.If Bobby Moore was still alive, I'd pay a hell of a lot more so my old man could have a round of golf with him.People will always moan if they can't afford it,it is jealousy in my eyes pure and simple.

Edward Barders coarse rods are now costing around 1200 quid.Mine cost a grand and I've had it for about two years now.People piss and moan about the cost of his rods.But no one makes you buy them do they ?Some people must though, as his order book is always full and that is no mean feat in these testing economic times.I saved like a madman for mine and done a hell of a lot of overtime.

People make choices with what they wish to do with any spare cash that they may have.But that fucking lot,will still be moaning about everything on mass for years to come.I bet though if Fatwa World were to sell lottery tickets for a day out with Matt, for lets say ten pound a go,that lot would snap them up.You see it's all piss and wind,heard mentality at it's worst.

Rant over.

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Whooo Hooo

That's me now finished work until the 05/01/11 and I'm feeling as festive as an Ebenezer Scrooge who has been giving a second chance on Christmas Day.Sadly the trip to the Hampshire Avon has been postponed for tomorrow as the snow and ice coming late in the day,may get the Gruff and I stuck eighty odd miles down the M3.But it is being reschedule for the New Year so fear not JAA you do not get off that lightly ;-)

So what book's do you chaps want for Christmas ? May I be so bold as to offer two of my favourites for your list of festive reading.Now I touched on this book Blood Knots, on this blog way back in May. I've now read it again and in my eyes you would be mad not to buy,beg or steal a copy of this book.Everyone who has read it has been blown away by the nature of the book.Various other bloggers and Internet forums have also offered it huge plaudits.You can pick it up in soft back for the princely sum of £8.99 at present.It's not your typical angling book but a charming story of a different era.Buy it or forever be cursed to damnation.

And this book is also from a different era and slightly more pricey coming it at a hefty £60.00 and a little at under 500 pages.

The Carp Catchers Club,produced by Medlar Press.I'll admit 60 quid for a book is quite expensive,but like most Medlar books it's produced to a very high standard.In essence its written in the form of a rotary letter,complied over the course of seven years from 1951 to 1958.And in this day of e-mail ruling the roost I doubt we will see this sort of book again.It has the illustrious names of Walker,Ingham,BB,Jack Smith,Harry Grief,Bob Richards,Pete Thomas,Venables,Fred J,Gerald-Beth Jones,Dick Kefford and John Norman.

It's really about the inception of how Carp angling took off in this country,with some lovely line drawings and photographs from days gone by.How the gent's pooled together thoughts on tackle,bait,bite indicators and the general behaviour of Carp.If your interested in the history of angling and Carp in particular I think you will enjoy this book.The closing chapter by Maurice Ingham makes the book worth buying in my eyes ,a sad lament if you will to lost friends and a lost time.

Moving on swiftly to our old friends at Barbel Fatwa World.We have had the monikers of "Boris","Beards","Old Whiskers" to describe the plain old Barbel.Well it hit new heights of mirth last week when a new poster described Barbel as ........."Bearded Brutes".It gets better though another poster welcomed him to the forum with this beaut......"Welcome to the circle of trust".Sounds like some homo erotic daisy chain for Boris forum folk.Still what ever makes you happy.

I hope to get another angling trip in early next week,but it's all dependant on the weather at present, like that for many of us I suppose ?So I'll make do with listening to the next Ashes Test from Australia and a wee dram or two for now.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Trotting Again

I thought I would have another go, running a float down the river again today and I arrived at the water around 07.00 intending to fish through until about 13.00.Nice mild day today with the air temperature around six degrees and did not even feel the need to wear a coat,just the bib&brace with a ruby shirt and a fleece. Obviously the ubiquitous warm hat was needed for those of us who are bald and indeed feel no need to have a comb over to cover this fact.Unlike others and you know who you are gentleman.

I baited a couple of runs with liquidised bread as it did not get light enough to run a float through for another three quarters of an hour.Shit myself a couple of times roaming about in the semi dark,as roosting Pheasants went belting off at all angles made jittery by my head torch.They got their just deserts later though,by the lads who were out shooting.

I've said before on here and to people I know that my "Trotting" skills are probably not as honed as many others.I'm fine on the slower rivers of my youth,with a small stick float.But the more vibrant and fast flowing rivers I struggle a little. Obviously not the Test and Itchen for those Trout and Grayling are a piss easy even for me.

Today I fished bread flake below a large Balsa float,and really enjoyed myself.After a couple of hours I seemed to be getting into the rhythm of things catching a few Dace and just trying different depths and stuff like that.

I also had this lovely Chub,I moved to a swim I baited earlier.Went a little over depth and more or less bounced the bait past a over hanging hawthorn bush.The float went under first time and a great scrap on light line and the 'Pin.Quite and odd shape this one and I reckon it may have munched on a few Crayfish in it's time ?So all in all an enjoyable few hours after the last few blank trips and it's nice to get the rod bent.I'm also due on the Hampshire Avon on Thursday all being well on the weather front.Not sure what to fish for now,Pike,Chub or Roach.

Moving onto Roach and anglers who REALLY know how to run a float through a swim,if you have not got this book it's a good read and by John Searle and friends.His second book after A Brush With The Avon.

I got this last Christmas from a mate of mine.Some of the Roach in this book will make you drool,and then some.Some great Roach anglers passing on their views,a mate recently had the pleasure of watching Dave Howes fishing and said he had never seen angler run a float through like it.Elegance personified were the words he crooned,or was that swooned ?

Now it's time for a wee dram I reckon.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 9 December 2010

A Lads Christmas

Jamie awoke early on Christmas Eve and looked out of his bedroom window,the snow was still laying in the valley that covered his Farthers farm.He thought I'll have a couple of hours Chub fishing before coming back home to enjoy the festivities.

He dressed and went down into the kitchen and grabbed a crusty fresh loaf that his Mother had recently baked. Shouldered his tackle and stepped out the back door.The cold took his breath away,but once he started off to the river he knew he would soon warm up.

His Farther was working and called out "No later than three o'clock OK son"."Yes Dad" replied Jamie and he was off across the farm land and down to the river.It looked cold and totally uninviting from an anglers perspective.Enough to chill even the most keen of fisherman.

Where will the fish be today he thought ?He walked the river and settled in swim that had an old Willow tree with it's bent limbs trailing in the water.That is where the Chub would be today he thought.He put in two small balls of liquidized bread and tackled up.

He cast out a large lump of crust that settled on the rivers crease.Time went very quickly as it always does when your fishing and no action had been forthcoming.He was now getting cold and decided on one last cast.Putting on a large lump of crust,the bait landed softly and fluttered under the Willow tree branches.

Jamie did not have time sit back,and the tip pulled around.He struck and was into a good fish,he could feel the line grating on the underwater roots.But slowly he was winning the battle,a little like the Old Man and the Sea.Ready for netting then.........."Oh Christ" for Jamie had forgotten his landing net in the haste to get on the river.

He then heard a voice"Need a hand young man ?"Jamie turned to see another angler behind him."Yes please" he stammered. The older angler used his net and the mighty Chub was swept into the safety of the mesh first time.

"Wow" they both said in unison.Jamie weighed this leviathan and it went an ounce over 5lbs.A new personnel best.He then set up his camera for a celebratory photo,and wanted the other angler in it also,as in Jamie's eyes it was his too.Photo's taken and Jamie packed up quickly as it was soon time to be home.

The two anglers walked across the meadow chatting as anglers do like life long friends,and when they arrived at the farm gate,Jamie thanked the angler for his help and bid him farewell.He raced inside and regaled his parents of his days angling and his new found friend.

"Now son" said his Farther."Not a soul has crossed our land today"."It's true" said Jamie and he raced up the stairs to print out the photo of his prize.His parents put it all down to youthful exuberance and the excitement of Christmas.

Jamie came running back down to his parents,holding his prize aloft.His parents were dumb struck.For as well as Jamie and the Chub,also in the photo was Jamie's late Grandfather.They all raced outside and looked longingly down the lane,but of course there was not a sight nor sound to be heard.

"Let's get back inside as it's cold" said Jamie's Farther.Jamie looked back down the lane and shouted"Merry Christmas Granddad" and on the breeze as the snow began anew came very softly"And to you dear boy and to you".

Be Lucky

Monty D

Monday, 6 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part V

What are the chances of ever seeing these two fine and somewhat stout fellows on the bank at any one time ?I'll wager not an awful lot to be honest.

Here we have Bolton funny man Peter Kay,trying to cast a Dry Flay,and making a hash of it.

And this chap here is Conrad Farlow,all round softly spoken gent from Barnsley who happens to be a whopping 45 today,not stone I hasten to add.Happy Birthday though mate and hope it's a nice evening for you both ;-0.

Also I have been getting a fair bit of stick over the photo below.This is actually MY advent calender,that my Mum sends me every year.Do I need to grow up now I'm getting on in life and not covert such things ?Not in my eyes,I love Christmas and I still open up the window every morning when I get up.No chocolates in this one this year though:-(

Lastly still cold here, but lets hope the rain holds off tonight in Adelaide so we can get the Aussies out and win the this Test Match.But It's looking wet I'm afraid and that will be a royal kick in the bollocks.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saturday, 4 December 2010

96 Degrees In The Shade

Well not quite to be honest but the temperature has turned much milder over night and the snow has started to melt.I decided yesterday I would have a couple of hours trotting for Dace today and bought some gentiles on the way home.

A little stream I can walk to was the venue,as I did not want to venture far as the snow is much deeper at a couple of my more regular venues.And with the words of Arthur Daley ringing in my ears "Monty,the world is your lobster my son" I set off just before first light.

And you can say my lobster was well and truly cooked.Not a bite to be had and in truth did not really expect much action.But like many other anglers we all need our weekly fix or we get damn right miserable.Well I do anyhow and I only saw one other angler and that was a Heron,who every time I crept near with a camera,flew away laughing.

Just a couple of little photo's from this morning.

With the snow melt under way,at least in the south you can in the coming week look forward to a couple of threads you know where,like this............"Does road salt put off the Boris" or "Will the Boris now start to feed" and maybe "Am I a sad twat for sitting at home".

Now to the real 96 Degrees in the Shade....

I love this song,very political and inspired by the Morant Bay Rebellion from 1865,that led to the hanging of Paul Bogle.It has a thumping base line to.With a little luck I'll be back in Jamaica next year visiting some of Mrs Monty's family.Not been over for a few years now and I love the place and the people.Her family reside in Manderville in the middle of the island,it's very lush and steamy.It's not known as the land of wood and water for nothing,away from the tourists also.

I'll now best get my self together and go and do some Christmas shopping for my girls.May even have a couple of pints of Old Peculiar while I'm out to warm the soul.Enjoy your weekend what ever you do.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part IV

Have you ever seen these two fine fellows below on the bank at the same time ? The chances are very,very slim that you will to be honest.

This here is intergalactic star force one,saving the world to infinity and beyond Mr.Buzz Light Year.And can the man do the Tango,what a pair of swivel hips.

And this fine fellow is all round specimen hunter Mr.Chris "The Pons" Ponsford.Often found creeping about on the Teme,playing Barbel on Youtube and managing to take product placement to a whole new level,by mentioning Korum every second breath ;-)

Anyway now the important stuff........

Upton Park last night was absolutely freezing and to be honest I did not fancy us to get a result.But old Red Nose decided to rest a good few players and in truth we totally deserved to win as comfortable as we did.

The atmosphere was like the night games of old.And it will be a huge mistake to move to the Olympic Stadium,it's just to large for a medium size club like us.Even if we were "flying",we would never really top 45,000 and that's being optimistic.Move the pitch over towards the West Side,and redevelop the East Stand and keep "The Chicken Run" in some guise.

I'm glad Spector had a blinder last night and he should have got MOTM,in my eyes as the lad has never scored prior to last night in 189 games and then get's two.I just hope we avoid Arsenal in the Semi-Finals as we will struggle to beat them over two legs.But in a one off game,then who knows ?

I still do not think it will "Kick Start" our season though as we are a poor side.And last night is best stored in the memory bank,as one to look back on.We play Man U at our gaff on the 11th of December and I'm sure it will be a totally different game.But today I'll just gloat,very softly as is my way ;-)

Getting home was a royal pain in the 'arris because of the huge amount of snow that has fallen near Chez Monty.A whole five inches and the South East comes to a standstill.And EVERYONE knew it was on it's way.

Still I'll not grumble today.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday, 28 November 2010

We're Spamming

Blimey I see the AoBF(Association of Barbel Fishers) may have ruffled a few feathers ? Firstly dear old Fred gets reprimanded about "Spamming Up" Barbel Fatwa World.Then good lord the big guns are out on parade offering confessional,at the Papal throne.What do I think? Do you really care ?

If you put a gun to my head(I'm sure one or two would like to) and asked me who should you join I would suggest if you want to fish the Trent.Then join the BS for it's lovely and gorgeous, intimate stretch of the Trent at Sutton-On- Sea.Lovely place not to far removed from "Dungy" on the Kent coast and similar tactics needed.

If you feel the need to just dip your toe in, in these heady days of Barbel groups try the AoBF.Some good guys and very little in the way of "Plug my Guiding" or "Book a day out with me".Or just go fishing and forget the single species myopia that seems so prevalent today .

"Oh we're Spamming,Spamming in the name of my lord"
"Oh we're Spamming and I hope you like Spamming to"
"His rule will not last,times going very fast"
"I and I will see it through"....

With apologies to Robert Nesta Marley for the above.

Lord a mercy,what a ting a 'gwan in Internet land again.

Monty D

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Minus Four

That was the air temperature when the Gruff and I arrived at the river today at first light for a few hours Perch fishing.Wrapped up like a good'un to keep out the cold and off we went me upstream and Gruff downstream.

I tackled up and settled in a swim I've caught from before and sat on the mat and cast out.Then the phone went and it was Gruff.

"I've forget me landing net"So back I traipse a good mile or so from where I started and we had no choice but to fish near each other.It happens to us all I suppose when you get as old as Gruff.I fished a link ledger with lob worms and Gruff used a float and tried out his new 'Pin a wide drum Speedia he got for a very good price.Nice reel that and it would have looked better on the bit of cane I was using,as opposed to his carbon contraception ;-)

Now even though it was minus four,it did not feel really cold as there was not a breath of wind.Though the line was freezing in the rings all the time. Apologies for the slight blurry image but I got a new camera in the week and did not have time to read the instructions,though "techy" stuff makes my mind boggle being so 'fick

But the fish as I expected decided not to play today,so it was a blank for us both.The Crayfish were mostly on good behaviour and with the cold spell in for a while hopefully they will stop all together,and the fish begin to get used to these conditions and come back on the feed.We did though have this little chap on the bank.

Gruff and I had a little word in his shell like,and then Gruff walked his new found friend downstream and let him go.We packed up a little before noon as by now the wind had picked up and it was colder than at first light.And with no bites between us we headed for home.

Nice few hours though,always is when your fishing.

Monty D

Friday, 26 November 2010

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part Three

Ever seen these two people on the bank side together ?I doubt you will to be honest.

Two Fridays back I was in the local,the Yat Rock Arms having a few pints of Butty Bach and just relaxing with a couple of non angling mates, after another week of hard graft.Talking as you do about this and that when I took a call on the Yat Phone.........

YY"Mate I think your on the BFW home page Monts"

MD"Bollocks am I,your mad"

YY" No honest mate I think it's you"

So I whipped out the I-phone that I carry for emergencies and came across this photo below entitled "Mark Coles Kennet PB of 12.6"By now the text messages had also been coming through thick and fast.

The top one is apparently Mark Coles.

And this one here is actually Monty D.
I had been royally stitched up by my friends at BFAMWE.My head has been photo shopped onto the body of "Howsie" and tweaked a bit.This fish is not mine and it is not from the Kennet at all.But an old Great Ouse fish from some years back,before the Otters.I'd also point out I do not wear eye shadow,well only at home xx.

Now some phone calls were made by me over the weekend,and behind stifled laughs the guys denied all knowledge.So these people are now on my hit list.........

Yesling Ying
Le Otterman
Bard of Bridgenorth.

If you look at the hands on the photo at the head end,you can see It's been photo shopped and the silly hat.But it stayed on the Fatwa World homepage all week.A great coup for the lads at BFWAMWE.I doff my cap as I was royally stitched up,but you lot know you will get it back and double ;-).What next I ask myself ?

I'll be out on the river in the morning from first light until about noon after a few Perch,I hope the cold has slowed the Crayfish right down.I'm not to expectant on the catching front though as it has got bloody cold.But fortune favours the brave etc etc.

As it's Friday I'm now off for a cupla pints.And if you are out on the bank wrap up warm kiddywinks,but you never know you may catch the fish of your dreams.

Be lucky

Monty D

PS Le Otterman is on the piss already and some of us remember the conversations we had with him last Friday night.Turn your phones off guys,you know it makes sense.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

The Ashes

Well in a little under eight hours the 2010/2011 Ashes contest starts between two great sporting rivals.I love any sporting contest when we play the Aussies.Sport has to elate and deflate in equal measure in my eyes or there is no point.And there is little better than beating Australia in there own country.

I've backed England to retain the Ashes 2-1 at a price of 9/1 for a little additional flavour.Not a big bet though as maybe my heart is ruling my head.

Some great Ashes quotes......."Hey Tufnell lend us your brain I'm building and idiot".This from a Aussie spectator.And one of my favourites from the 1922/23 Body Line Tour, English skipper Douglas Jardine claimed he was being sworn at.Aussie Skipper Bill Woodfull"Which of you bastards,called this bastard a bastard ?" I'm sure only a few of us remember the infamous Body Line Tour. Messrs Truscott and Osbourne I reckon.

So I'll have to set the alarm for around 04.00 for the next few days prior to going to work to catch some of the Test Match Special,on the wireless .Test Match Special is superb and "Tuffers and Aggers" are a great double act.In the spring I was listening to England and Bangladesh from Lords and Tuffers was heard to say...."Mike Gatting has just walked into the commentary box,someone lock the fridge quick"

You do not get that on Sky!.

Good luck England and bring 'em home.

Monty D

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Damp November

Had a nice day today on the river even though the sky was leaden and everything was shrouded in what seemed an Autumn gloom.A typical damp November day that seems to seep right into me.Stopped on route and popped into Tadley Angling Center and picked up a few bits and also this new book out by Martin James.Only a "Pony" that's twenty five pounds sterling for those of you who do not know.

Now I've obviously not read it but had a quick flick through and it's not short on pages.367 to be precise and Martin makes a donation on every book sold to the ABF the soldiers charity.Nice touch that and I'll have a little look later,as the PAC magazine arrived in the post today and that needs reading too.Quickly back to Tadley Angling,now I'm sure many of us use this shop at various times ?But I've yet to meet a more pleasant tackle shop owner,and his bait is always spot on.Compared to some of my more local shops.If you are over that way and have never made a visit,please do so.You will be offered a cup of tea also or if you are from "Yam Land" like the Bard,it will be a "Kippa Tie".

The river was low and clear today,as the recent frosts had knocked all the colour out of it so I decided to roam about for Chub. Noting fancy or technical at all to be fair,lob worms or crust fished on link ledger weighted with two,three SSG weights.Size 8 hook and a 6lb pound hook length.Quiver tip rod made by Mark Tunley and that was it.

Looking at the river you could be forgiven to think it was devoid of fish, nothing showed at all.So I just dropped baits into various holes near any cover I could find.I ended up with a few Chub to about 4lbs and plenty of these little devils.I did have a couple taken off by Pike in two swims that I fished.And that's one in the memory bank for maybe next week.I don't know about you but with the weather being so changeable of late,I cannot even begin to think about starting a proper CAMPAIGN for one species.

I still can't find those large Chub yet though ,but I can't complain today really as I got the rod bent and I've been on the bank and only saw one other angler.To me that's a good day to be honest,and roll on next Saturday.

Monty D

Friday, 19 November 2010

Friday Already

Grabbed a few hours on the river after work yesterday,as it's got fairly mild over the last few days. Hoping for a Barbel to come along and take a bit of interest,but I only managed one small Chub.Even though I was on the bank at around 16.00 and fished through until about 19.30.Most of the trees have shed their leaves now,so that was a pain in the 'Arris,not sure what to fish for on Saturday ?The rivers are carrying a some fair colour so I may try a different river for Barbel,though it's frosty outside Chez Monty as I type this.Still as the Gruff once said"You'll catch nowt sat at 'ome ya miserable bugger".Quick photo of yesterday's swim,as you can see I've tweaked it a little.

Moving on swiftly make sure you seek out Novembers Coarse Angling Today,as Monty and his mate Yessling Ying,tell a few tales from this season.The jobs a good 'un as they say.

Well It's Friday and as ever I'm off for a cupla pints.Well not really as I'm off to work but you can pretend I've done this blog entry in the afternoon,OK ?So if you are on the bank over the weekend take care.Looking again at forum land,folk are even asking what Gloves to buy for the winter.So people like that may need telling it's slippery and unsafe at times.How about though you really go wild guys and walk into a tackle shop and make an informed decision ?I mean what Gloves,FFS.

Oh and the BS Auction has just started again and it's a great cause.The lads have had a large "Whip 'raand" and got enough cash together so a BS member can bid for a day out with Steve Pope,for both Mike Oz and Mike Berridge.I know,I know guy's I can see the tears in your eyes from Yat Rock.But we feel your worth every penny.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part Deux

Has anyone ever seen these two gents on the river bank at the same time ?

The one below is Tom H,all round Barbel nut case who was out earlier in the week at night when it was -4.Fair play to you mate,but in the words of Stef Horak,bollocks to that. But I'll be back out after work tomorrow as well as the weekend as it's now ten days without casting a line,and I'm getting grouchy.But I have to admire your drive.;-)

This chap below is Phil Jupitas,not as funny as he thinks he is, a little like me to be honest.But as he is a season ticket holder at Upton Park he 'aint a bad lad.

Lastly a shame it was a poor turn out at the Wilts BS meeting last night,with Martin Bowler giving a talk.I've spotted from Yat Rock only around 28 stout fellows turned out.That's not good enough guy's,as Martins talks are really good.

Monty D.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Whitehall Today

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses,row on row,
That mark our place out;in the sky,
The larks,still bravely singing fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below

We are the Dead.Shot Days ago
We lived,felt dawn,sawn sunset glow,
Loved,and were loved,and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with our foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch,be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die,
We shall not sleep,though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

The garden of remembrance at Westminster Abbey where I put two crosses one for my Great Grandfather who fought at the Somme and Ypres in the first world war.And also for my Grandfather who was in the second world war.John Johnson 1895-1994 and Johnny Johnson 1922-1999.

I've been going for years now and it's a very special and moving day.The masses start to fall silent around 10.50 and when the guns go off and Big Ben Chimes you can hear a pin drop.I could not get any photos today of the guys and gals marching past, as my normal vantage point just by Churchill's statue in Parliament Square has been fenced off.As the tent city that homes the anti war folk has been moved near by.Who coincidently did not mutter a word during the two minutes silence.

It's one of the things this country does so well.The "Pomp and Circumstance" and I'm sure everyone who attended there local war memorials felt the same.

Monty D

Friday, 12 November 2010

Spotted Today From Yat Rock

Good lord there is some major moaning going on in "Forum Land" at present over Robson Green and his so called angling programme.Now I'll be honest I have never seen Robson's angling show as he is one of those actors I do not enjoy watching.Remember Soldier,Soldier ? Yes it was the absolute pits in my eyes. So I avoid anything with him in at all costs.

But people I assume do have an on/off button on their huge plasma screens,so why watch it, if it offends your sensibilities so much, you have a choice.A bit like reading most of the drivel I post up on here.No one makes you read it.

Some class comments...."His a knobba who can't fish"."Mr.Green cast like a ponce",obviously never seen Conrad then ;-).No lads turn it off I beseech thee and stop getting hot under the collar so much on the forums.

Only one Geordie would do a good angling show and it is this legend here.The man broke the mould in so many ways.Least of all how some of us of a certain age should act around women.I for one have not looked back since.

Also today I spotted this........A naked man arrested breaking into a house had a computer mouse stuck up his backside.Noah Smith,25,was taken to hospital after cops used a Taser gun,pepper spray and a baton to restrain him.Shocked docs who X-rayed him found the mouse lodged in his rectum.Smith,of Sencea,South Carolina,told them he had no idea how it got there ?

Which begs the question "How many Arseholes out their are wielding a mouse ?"I of course include myself in that.

Well it's Friday I'm now off for a cupla pints.So if you are out on the bank this weekend may you catch the fish of your dreams.I'll be at the Rugby on Saturday and paying my respects at Whitehall on Sunday.So no fishing for me until next week.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Blog Wars Mark Three

Lads been looking around today and seen a few blogs and some things do not change eh ?

It's about time things were left do you not think ? Piss takes and humour yes,but its' getting all rather silly gain.Listen to the words if you can.

"Cha,if you wan fe go check it,ago check it.If not na badda wid it and just res up"Though it does make me laugh to a degree and I do not need to name the blogs.You know who you are.You are all alot better than that,well most of you give or take the odd blood clart bwoy.;-)

Monty "Fred Locks" D

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part 1

Being that it's a little quiet on the angling front from me,I thought I would start a little section on Doppelgängers in the angling world.Well I say quiet but the lads on Barbel Fatwa World are moaning about the cold rain going into their beloved rivers,and if you read the threads you would think it has come as a surprise ?But as Pooh Bear said the other day and I quote...."It's the winter,what do they fooking expect it happens every year".Spot on mate ;-)

So here we go, has anyone ever seen these two gents in the same room at the same time ?

This is my mate Mick "The Duke" Brown.

And this chap here is "Paul 4" all round centerpin guru.And a lover of all things sheds.

Separated at birth maybe ? Well who knows to be honest but both I've been told are lovely blokes.Though I can only vouch for one.I'll chuck a few more in over the coming weeks as there are some real good ones about.

As ever It's only my view from Yat Rock.

Monty D

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Change Of Plan

Gruff and I were today going to fish a different river to the one I Pike fished last Saturday.But when the poor old boy turned up he looked like death,and those who know Gruff will know he has a face only a mother could love and then only at a distance.The dreaded man-flu had claimed another victim so we decided on a short session on a club ticket we both have that is local.

We arrived at the river around 07.00,Gruff set himself up for Barbel and got comfortable in a swim he fancied.Slinging tablets down his neck like a real old trooper that he is, I did though expect to see him waving some glow sticks in the air at one point all loved up.I left him in peace and went a few hundred yards downstream to an area I've not fished for nearly two years.I've never Pike fished here but had some nice fish of other species.

It's a large pool at the end of some shallows and the main flow comes in under the near bank leaving a large area of dead water on the far side.It looked good and while I got the rod out of the holdall Pike were striking into prey fish on the far bank,I had a quick plumb around and it was around four feet deep.So I set up with a float that would just drift around about a foot of the bottom,with a small dead bait.

I had two Jacks in the first couple of hours and dropped what felt like a decent fish soon after.It then went very quiet until around 11.00 when the Pike were again harrying the silver fish.I picked up another two fish, in fact all the fish were of the same stamp as this one here.Real good bites to with the float tearing off across the river.What rod did I use you may want to know ?Well some folk like to know just look at the forums.A rod made by Dave Lumb for river Piking,the P2 lovely little rod of 11 feet with a 2.5 test curve.Nice rod for stalking Carp with to.

We packed up a little after noon,as by now the Gruff was feeling the effects.And it's no fun If you are on the bank feeling dog rough to be honest.Gruff well done for getting out anyway mate.

That's it on the fishing front now for a couple of weeks unless I can get out after work ? I'll be at Twickenham next Saturday for our game against the Wallaby's.A nice appetiser prior to the first Ashes test on the 25th.

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Poor Old Obama

I reckon Mr.Obama may have his work cut out in the next two years or so,just trying to get anything done in Congress after the hiding his party have just taken in the midterm elections.

The Americans I work with all voted "For Change" two years ago.Not to many did this time round and they come from various places in the states,Virginia,Oregon,New York and Seattle.But some of these Tea Party guys and gals are not the full ticket either.The far right and the far left are all mad,but can you imagine Sarah Palin as the President ?I doubt the Republican party would like her to get a sniff at running for 2012.But can you stop the groundswell of opinion that is gaining momentum.

So when you come to write your tome on how you were stiffed at every turn as you surely will ? And you need a few bucks as your on skid row,you can always blame this guy.

He felt no shame in blaming you.

Monty D

Monday, 1 November 2010


I've never been one to ram my views down any one's throat as I'll always listen to a reasoned argument.Even if I disagree with your view point and we can agree to disagree.

But today in work we have a young intern with us until Christmas.I suggested he may want to pop a few bob in the Poppy collection box that goes towards the British Legion.He declined on the grounds that and I quote "It will not go with the colour of my coat so no thank you all the same"

Not often I'm lost for words but this time I am, well fuck me.What next in this land of ours ?Not sure what to make of the lad as his a nicely spoken middle class kid.Perhaps his parents are middle class,left wing vegans who reckon The Guardian newspaper is the cutting edge of journalism.

Wear you Poppy with pride is Monty's mantra.I'll try and get some photo's up later in the month from Whitehall,from the annual march past.If you have never been you really should,it makes the hairs on my neck stand up.

Monty D

Sunday, 31 October 2010


If you are thinking of making your way to Yat Rock tonight with your begging bowl out ? To try and con me out of some money.And it's money and not "Candy" these folk want I bid you a very friendly piss 'orf.

Try the mob down the road,you know who I mean.The "Buy One Get One Free" group.Hell I've heard a few folk are out trying to canvass some future members now.And If that don't scare 'em,well not an awful lot will.Boooooooooo!

You have been warned.

Monty D

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Time To Say Goodbye ?

I'd been looking forward to today's Pike session all week.I sorted my tackle out on Thursday and tied a few new traces.Scaled down the amount of tackle I was going to take as I had a fair old walk ahead of me.

I arrived on the river just as it was getting light.A very damp morning with an awful lot of mist over the surrounding meadows.

And this view was about as good as it got to be honest.I was destroyed by Crayfish over and over.Now it seems that these little sods have had an absolute field day in the last two seasons and have spread on mass.Two seasons back you could have half a dozen Pike with the odd low double thrown in each session.And if the angling gods were kind the odd mid double.

Last winter was a chore for many anglers who fish for Pike,on their rivers.Owing to the amount of snow melt and cold rain that kept the rivers cold and coloured for so long ?So you put that down to experience.

This seasons Pike fishing thus far has been for me very trying.I'd not fished this particular river for a few weeks.But I reckon it is about a foot and a half down on normal Autumn/Winter levels.The normal depth is a consistent five feet or so with the obvious deep holes.So in essence I was fishing in around of three feet of water.

I trotted Sprats down about a foot above the bottom that has worked in the past.But the Crayfish still managed to intercept these.A bottom bait was a complete no go as the mackerel baits were stripped down very quickly.A paternoster was a no good also with the river being so low at present the Crayfish got hold of these too.

I was fine trotting a bait down shallow,but the Pike if they were feeding were not in the upper layers.As I covered over a mile of water but did not see any fry scatter once.I did see some nice Roach roll and a couple of small Carp on the top in the late Autumn sun.

The recruitment levels with the silver fish population are at present very good.So plenty of food for the Pike.So what do you do ? I'm not a fan of lure fishing as to me it's all about watching the float go.Like Barbel anglers who are so beloved with the "Three Foot Twitch"

Will some nice cold weather put the Crayfish down ? I do hope so to be honest,as I love this stretch of river as it has been good to me over the years.It's stunning to look at and be on.And you may only see one angler a season,so far this year I've seen just the one who was trotting.

But it does beg the question when is it time to say goodbye ?I'm now going to open a bottle of Red and think about what next Saturday will bring.I'm not ready to throw the towel in just yet.

Monty D

Friday, 29 October 2010

The Exmoor Emperor

Well it's been quite a week in the press over the who shot the Emperor of Exmoor ? Or indeed has he been shot at all ?For what it's worth I think it was time the old boy was culled.For when a Stag get's past the age of eight he is passed his best.After this age his prime rutting days are over and his sperm count drops radically.He was also rutting with his daughters and grand daughters and that is no good for the gene pool.Yes it was a magnificent beast but time waits for no man as they say and a friend of mine helps out with a couple of local culls each year and it is needed.

But fear not their is another superb stag out in the wilderness this fine speciman below. Emperor Pope.

Now I'm sure a few people would like to see this mounted above there fireplace ?But this wily old stag has been at the game for a long while now and seldom breaks cover.He has seen off plenty of young bucks over the years who have tried to oust him and still he runs his own herd.And I'm sure he will for a few years yet ?

Anyone thinking of posting insipid comments do not bother,they will not get published It's just a bit of fun.But feel free to slate me if you want ;-)

Moving on.....I will be out on a river Pike fishing on Saturday.I stopped today in Morrison's and purchased a kilo or so of Sprats.I fancy trotting these down the river,on a single treble hook one on each point.These work well when held back in the flow us they flutter up well and hopefully induce a strike? I'll also take some mackerel and a couple of sardines to fish on the bottom.

Another bit of Northern Soul for Friday and this one is a classic and I hope my mate Pooh Bear enjoys it ?

That's it,Friday again and the weeks fly by.So as ever I'm now off for a cupla of pints.Hobgoblin I reckon as It's near Halloween.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Warm 'Aint It

What is going on with this weather ? Sunday and Monday I woke to frost and clear sky's and the last two days are totally different.Warm and almost humid with a fair amount of rain yesterday and this morning.It's puts the fishing up in the air to be honest.

But I decided to leave work early today and grab a short two hour session on the river.Paste wrapped boiled baits as ever for me,can't stand the smell of Pellets and though they may catch me more fish ? I enjoy catching on bait I've made at myself.I arrived on the river at 16.30 and fished through until 19.00.

Picked a swim that has a deep undercut,with a willow tree at one end as it drops into a hole.No loose feed as such just a small PVA bag with crumbled bait.First put and within 20 minutes or so few taps then it slowed down.Changed to a longer hook length and a size ten hook and Wham"Bad boys stick together" the rod went round and had a nice Barbel of around 8lbs.That will do for me I thought "Tommy".Fish rested and back she went to grow into a double,Otters considered.

Next cast and straight away this little scamp of a Chub hooked itself.Now I'm not one for normally taking photographs of small fish,but it was pristine I thought why not.

I fished on but no more action into dark and being a school night I thought time to pack up and walked home,so here I am.Though I do know someone who has had a proper Barbel from the Royalty today,eh Tom ;-).

Now back to Chub.I love Chub but like many I want to catch them on "proper" tackle and not Barbel gear like I did today.A mate of mine,let's call him "Yessling Ying" has been having a torrid time on his local river,touch ledgering with Cheese Paste.And his is failing has reached my eyes here at Yat Rock.May I suggest you come into the 21'st century dear boy.

This Rig here.

Plus a paste made out of this,will see far more Chub on the bank.

I'm sure he will not mind this little prompt or two ?

So for me I'm pleased for a few short hours after work.It beats watching the box does it not ?

Monty D

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Slow Day

I think I made the wrong decision to fish for Barbel today to be honest,or am I just grossly inept ? Answers please to my good self at Yat Rock.I awoke early to hear the rain hammering into the windows.Went downstairs and it was heavier than I at first thought,it sounded like Topol was dancing on the conservatory roof,"If was a rich man,da doo da doo da day".

We arrived,that's the "Gruff" and I at the river a little after 07.00 to be met with clear sky's.Now I do not know about you ?But some times when you look at a river you think,this is a no go.Low and clear with untold leaf litter coming down like a great train of Oak,Elm and Chestnut trees snaking along.Gruff fished about a mile away from me as I think he was already pissed off with me muttering "Should of brought me Pike tackle".He reckons I'm am miserable sod ?:-( And that's from a man from Donnie who has been down here years!Get the 'sen back ya mardy bugger.

What can you do but try ? I selected two swims about 75 yards apart with good depth under the rod top.Little pools to be honest that dropped away after shallow water.Dropped some small paste balls and crumbled boiled baits into each swim and roamed between the two.

Alas not a tap or pull was apparent in either swim.The leaf litter needed knocking off on a regular basis.And the under water weed was after twenty minutes or so fowling the hook bait.Even with a hook length of around two feet and two float stops up the line to try and catch the debris."Gruff" had no joy either so at 13.00 we thought stuff it there is always another day.Did we quit to early ? Maybe we would have had some action if we fished into late afternoon and into dusk ? But sometimes a warm fire and a beer wins you over.Well it does me, but it does not make be a bad person does it ?

Still enjoyed being out though,as you always should.I can feel Stef Horak getting all indignant about anglers just enjoying "Being There".But If you looked like Stef,you would want to hide away on your own in the countryside and not interact with "normal folk".Plus points not another soul about apart from "Gruff" and I.What next week will bring angling wise god knows ?The weather looks to be so unsettled it's untrue,cold and minus temps for a few days.Then warm and rain with South Westerly's ? Still these things are sent to try us.Well for those who fish and do not sit on angling forums all day like a certain DAVE HALL.Sheesh the man is a fucking oracle,I said oracle OK ;-0

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D

Friday, 22 October 2010

A Roo Turn

Monty Colleen heree babes I fought I wuld fank you for your blog entry yesterday that i showd to my Wayne.He was weally shocked that yu wuld care about us as footballs pre-eminent cuple.

He knew he was wrong yeah babes and me an me mam had him by the mam said to im "You little fecker you are not being a judas once was enough.You stay here so me and my babba and gran babba can still hang out at the arndale center".

And me dad yeah was gonna chin im....again.But it's all gravy now beacuse of you.if you are ever up this way i'll make you the best beans on toast in the cuntry.

Once again i hope you do not mind this email.

Love Colleen xxx

Nice touch that do you not think ? Anyway very little in the way of fishing this week as I've not been out.But it's not all about fishing is it ?My tackle is ready for the morning and I'll try for a Barbel or two as the weather has warmed up a little and with the rain due I hope the water temperature will continue to rise over night ?

So if your out on the bank this weekend I hope you enjoy your day,and catch the fish of your dreams.Being Friday as ever I'm now off for a cupla pints.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thursday, 21 October 2010


Well Wayne Rooney has decided to throw in the towel at Manchester United.Plenty of reasons are floating about and it depends on what paper you read.But I honestly can't see the lad going abroad.

Can you imagine him,and his clan sipping a really nice Red in Madrid ? Eating some wonderful tapas late at night in Barcelona ? No I think not to be honest as It's an alien concept for the lad.Very few footballers from these shores have done well on the continent.Lineakar,Hughes,Acrhibald,the late Johnny Charles did well and integrated and enjoyed the wonderful things that were on offer.

Beckham,Rush(who apparently had tins of bake beans shipped over),Blisset and Barnes could not adapt.Me I would love the chance to live and work in Spain or Italy.The clothes and the way of life are wonderful.

So here is the lad giving a good cheerio to the masses that flock from Surrey to Old Trafford every week.

So where will he go ? It's either Man Citeh,as little Colleen loves the North West of England.Or will it be a Chelsea with his new best mate and all round good egg and great ambassador for the game John Terry ?If you see this lot around either ground in January,please take care.The Rooney clan are with you.

The whole premiership football thing now is mad.I've said it before I hope we go down this year.As when we were last down for a couple of years it was a great laugh both home and away.Talk to fans in the lower leagues,and they can see through the bullshit of the "Number One League" in the world.

Not had time to get on the bank this week.Saturday is around the corner and I'm not sure what to target yet ?Pike ? Perch ? Barbel ? And I must now offer my condolences to the Gruffalow who lost a large Barbel on a southern river today.Now "Gruff" has had them before to over 16lb,and he had a hook pull at the net today.As sorry as I am Gruff,but I cast my mind back to July when you laughed at me on the Hampshire Avon.

But fuck me as I type this he has just had a 12 plus.Well done mate you have now right screwed this blog up.And it was -1 down here for the last few nights.Good going and shame you lost the other one,that you say was much larger.:-)

Monty D