Monty Dalrymple and the View From Yat Rock

Bottled Out Of The Fishing

2012-02-05T14:11:00.005Z

Well I will hold my hands up and admit I bottled out yesterday for a day on the river after Perch,the wind had cut me too the quick on the way to work all week and I just could not summon up the enthusiasm to go.Is it age catching up with me or common sense?I would like to think it's the latter but then again none of us are getting any younger.

So I plumped for our derby game against Milllwall,plenty of tickets were still available in advance for this particular fixture.I can understand why many people do not want to attend this most acerbic and bitter or rivalries,what with the past history between the teams both on and off the pitch.

A lunchtime kick off was order of the day and all pubs and off licences(Who really wants to swig from a can of beer in February) were closed until 1600.I can't see the point in this measure,as If people want to have a tear up at football,then they will booze or not.The old bill I'm sure will one day work out that fact?

The game?Poor atmosphere I thought in the ground but then we seldom seem to achieve this these days.Why that is I'm not so sure,it just seems to tick over.Going down to ten men after nine minutes when our captain Nolan was sent off made you think........I would be well happy with a draw.But fate for a change smiled on us when Carlton Cole banged one in,into injury time in the first half. If I was a Pikeys fan I would have been gutted:-),you have a man up and you go in one down.

It's gets better,Pikeys equalized in the 65th minute when Liam Trotter(proper Pikey Peckham name) hit the net.Now they were in form,but hope does not always spring eternal.Three or so minutes later Winston Reid put us back in front.Was it a foul on Forde,Millwalls goal keeper?I'd say it was to be truthful.That makes it all the sweeter,you give them hope after nine minutes.You score and they are deflated,they get one back only to be pig sick a short while later.Not a great football performance by us,but after the dreadful result away to Ipswich in the week a good solid performance.I spoke to a couple of Milwall mates today and one hit the nail on the head I think with this comment....."Your team wanted it more and those playing for us,we don't seem to have a clue,but your still vermin though mate".He could not though muster a well done.And no one likes a bad looser do they?

Anyway we had a fair dollop of snow last night in leafy Surrey.So instead of going out for a meal the better half and I just curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine,well not for long.The dross on the box makes me weep and I jumped online for a while,so the better half could watch the dross in peace without me moaning and groaning.And lo and behold it's Barbel anglers yet again doing what they do best........Chat about bollocks.

http://www.fishingmagic.com/features/diaries/15725-barbel-fishing-%E2%80%93-the-pope%E2%80%99s-river-diary%3A-january.html

http://www.fishingmagic.com/forums/barbel-fishing/

Sure it's amusing at times,but mostly you seem very uptight and frustrated gents?Perhaps a visit to Anne Summers for a foot pump and an inflatable may solve your angst?Who knows perhaps they are mostly wankers.Still with the snow being almost countrywide,expect maybe next week on Fatwa......."Snow melt and road salt".Hell they even debate what flask these days,I kid you not.Forums are they finished or will they still be around in five years time,Barbel forums seem to generate mostly incestuous bilge in my eyes,but that's maybe my rather jaundiced view from Yat Rock,they do make me laugh though.

I mentioned last week War Horse the film and stage play by the author Michael Morpurgo,well we did catch up with this yesterday on the radio 4 website.If you have a spare ninety minutes and you like this kind of thing.Sit back and pour yourself a glass and I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01bh91t

I'll maybe cast a line next weekend?I'll see what the week brings firstly and then decide but If I don't I may be more grouchy than normal.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Rocking Robin

2012-01-28T12:55:00.014Z

I had a very short three hour session on the river today(I wanted to get home for the football and racing),arriving at first light and staying until around 10.30,admittedly it does help when this particular venue is very close to home,so you can arrive and be gone at will without the constraints of traveling and if you have had enough you can simply pack up and walk home.

Just gently running a float downstream again with a pint of red maggots,and I caught very little.Two small Dace and a very small Roach and a good few Minnows.But I'm starting to get the hang of this trotting lark and the more I fish like this,the more absorbing it becomes.It's hard to explain,but watching the float dance and move downstream is good fun and that is what angling is to me really.

Also this little chap kept me company,I adore Robins.They are brave,bolshie,inquisitive,greedy and just nice to have around.Next weekend I'll be back out after some Perch and hope for that elusive four pound fish.

Now back to some more "Harryisms".I mentioned in the week he would play dumb and try and blame all and sundry."I can't send an e-mail,write like a two year old etc"Well I apologize,as I was wrong,he really is thick as shit!These came into the Yat Phone last night and thank you Le Otterman for the spot,gold star for you sir.

Time for the Horses,If you do go and see this film and you do not shed a tear then you have a heart of stone.

Sure it's not as good as the Theater production,that is simply outstanding.But It is well worth seeing in my humble opinion.I had the pleasure of meeting the books author Michael Morpurgo for half an hour a few years back.He was getting ready to do a book reading at the Little Mermaid Theater in Southwark,a shy man really,but very well spoken.He came alive when the auditorium filled up with children and their parents.He was superb and great fun and really does an awful lot of good for children who have not had an easy time in life.I think the man deserves a gong.

And keeping with all things equine,a Cheltenham meeting is on today and I have had just the one bet.Midnight Chase in the 14.35.Will it win?I hope so.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Harry "The Bung" Redknapp

2012-01-24T17:18:00.020Z

Well the trial started yesterday in court number eight at Southwark Crown Court for my 'Ol mate Harry "Honest Guv" Redknapp.I've mentioned on here about his taste for a "Bung",many times in the past.But many people assumed I was on a major wind up?

The press love him,as he is always ready with a cheeky quip,a sexist bon mot.That hides a platitude of misdemeanors and outright skulduggery and dare I say a crooked,grasping love of the filthy lucre.But is he about to be found out?

Well I don't think he will get "banged up".But was not poor Lester Piggott locked up and stripped of his knighthood.And this a man who really knew his trade,as opposed to an outright wrong 'un.I can wish that a chant that rings around at Upton Park is........."Raped in the showers,his getting raped in the showers".But though I think he will be found guilty,he will of course blame everyone else and play dumb,but I can't see him doing a stretch,but we can live in hope.

Also this pinged into the Yat Phone over the weekend.Now I thought that sleeping by your rods at Sutton on Sea,on the Barbel Society water was frowned upon?But it seems some committee members seem to do their own thing?And not an unhooking mat to be seen,though plenty of flesh around to rest the hallowed Barbel on,if indeed one does catch?Anyone know whom this man is?Keep it clean or it will not be published.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Finicky Pike

2012-01-21T16:23:00.010Z

Gruff and I had a six hour session today on a local beat of river,after a Pike or three,the day started in it's usual style with the ubiquitous phone call of "I'm running a little late mate".Quell surprise there old boy,but he was at the meeting point about 15 minutes late and with it being so mild who really cares?

Anyway the first hour we both float fished Sprat dead baits and not a sniff was to be had,this particular bay tends to fish well at this time of year.I changed over to a large Mackerel tail and popped it back out,within a minute the float wobbled,stuttered and moved off.I wound down and was into a fish and played it towards the net,up she popped and she looked a scraper double,then she shook her head and the hooks flew out of her mouth,oh bum or words to that effect.With the bait still intact the bait went straight back out. It had not really settled when it was off again.Wind down and into another fish,a couple of runs and another scraper double was ready for netting.As I eased her over the net,she tail walked and threw the hooks,sending the float and two trebles into an over head tree,oh the joy of angling.

Now it gets a little surreal,as the float stops had moved I cast out again without a bait to make sure I had the depth correct.The float did not settle but moved off.Gruff said "Fook me you in again".I thought I had foul hooked a fish,but no both trebles were firmly in the mouth of this little Jack,how can that happen?I know I like a piss take on this blog,but Gruff will testify what I've just posted is gospel.

Anyway I had one more stuttering take on a Mack Head,that I pulled out of.Now it was Gruffs turn,he had a short stuttering,dibble of a float movement.He wound down and after a couple of seconds he pulled out of a fish.Bait goes back out and the same again he lets the float sail away and he winds down,fish on then off.He winds in slowly and he sees a Pike follow,strike then let go.One more chance for Gruff and his into a decent fish,she tail walks and a good mid double shakes here head and spits out the hooks.Both of us were somewhat perplexed to be honest,bait and hook size were the correct ratio.Hooks were sharp and we always "hit" our Pike early to avoid deep hooking,but seldom have we both endured such frustration in a few hours.When checking the baits.Most teeth marks where at the tail end,we also switched to whole Herrings as opposed to Mack Tails.So were the Pike picking up the bait side on in a finicky manner,just gently mouthing the bait as opposed to moving off?Hence the very small runs on the floats that stopped and started.All good fun though and something that makes you want to go back and put right.

Now to a little national stereotyping,are you or I really surprised that this man some how "slipped and fell into a life boat",thus leaving his ship to others?Have you heard the radio of the coast guards,telling him to get back on board.As I said national stereotyping at it's worst,but in a tight spot,would you really want this man with you?Na thought not.

Lastly this lady passed away yesterday and what a voice and song this is,If you can't romance your lady to this,well you have no chance and you best give up.Oh and Lady D,who is working tonight this is for you :-)

That's it,enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgangers Of The Angling World Part XV

2012-01-06T16:55:00.005Z

Time for another one of these I think.........Below we have that all round Barbel god Richard Easom who is totally driven,marketing tool par excellence and you will jolly well take notice of his blog,as it was posted up mostly on FM for the last few months.Richard will leave no stone upturned in his quest for world domination on the Barbel front.And by Jove we need another Barbel expert do we not?

And below we have that all time kids favorite from back in the day,Mr.Hartly the Hare with a nice fish caught from the Coventry canal last May.Sorry about naming the venue folks,but that is the way that things seem to be going,publish up chapter and verse on the capture and the venue and stuff the rest.

Which brings me to my main point.......How much is to much to give away on a blog or an angling forum about your captures.My view is this...........Mention the river that you fish by all means,but by giving specifics,beats or showing swims is wrong.None of us own our particular favorite beat of river,but surely we all like a little peace and quiet to unwind when we fish.If my favorite rivers were suddenly inundated with anglers over a certain fish that was caught,or an extensive write up on the net I would be mighty miffed.Not all anglers have an ego that makes them do a blog and not all anglers want the added attention on their favorite rivers.So how about a little thought for other anglers.It's easy to cover photo's also.....Here is one of mine from a while ago,a nice Perch that took seconds to tweak.Have a think for others maybe guys and gals eh?Or perhaps I'm in the wrong and you should publish and be dammed.?

It's just my view from Yat Rock but I think people should be a little more thoughtful?Anyway this is just a very quick blog entry as being Friday,I'm off out for a cupla pints.So enjoy your weekend and If you are fishing,catch a whopper,but think a little eh?

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Out With The Old

2011-12-31T14:18:00.005Z

Out with the old is the mantra for this time of year for many,but I quite like the old and nostalgia to be truthful.I debated yesterday as to whether to go fishing today as I've got the dreaded man flu.I woke up Thursday with a hacking cough and all that comes with it,runny nose,aching limbs and a complete lack of taste.And it puts me in a filthy mood,but well I had not cast a line since prior to Christmas so I managed a few hours.

I popped down to a local beat of river that seldom sees a soul,sure the bank side vegetation is mostly in a lethargic mood.But the grass,owing to the weather being very mild is still growing with aplomb and the lack of footfall from anglers and ramblers leaves everything nice and mud free.And I hate,with a passion getting caked in mud while on the bank.

Just a few hours trotting for me with two pints of maggots casting for what ever came along,I have said before my trotting skills are very poor.It's something I have always wanted to remedy but seem to get side tracked with other things.But I think this particular form of angling,when done correctly is one of the most skillful forms of coarse fishing.And I do not give it any kind of justice,more lurching the stream as opposed to a fluent trot.But I still somehow manged to hood wink some Dace and small Roach for my four hours.My back does bloody ache though after a while standing up and running a float downstream.It was a nice few hours with the sun peeking about from behind the cloud cover for around ten minutes.I'll have to put some more time in with the trotting tackle in the New Year for some Roach I spotted rolling at dusk,last season while Pike fishing.

And keeping with the old,this old boy winning an unprecedented fifth King George on Boxing Day.22,000 people packed into Kempton Park and the place erupting,it would have maybe rivaled the "Cheltenham Roar"as he came home in front and Kauto Star never looked in danger all through the race.The Gold Cup in March promises to be some spectacle If both Kauto and Long Run can arrive fit and healthy.And I hope to be here for this race also.Memories are made of things like this,If you love horse racing we can all look back and think of Best Mate,One Man,Desert Orchard,Denman etc,etc.But Kauto is very,very special and fingers crossed that he does himself and his connections justice in 2012.

So what would I like from next year?To see the Association of Barbel Fishers go from strength to strength.They have a good "team" and are open to the thoughts and concerns of there members and are well worth having a peek at with some very good anglers posting on there vibrant forum.I do not include myself in the good angler mode,I'm just average.Rejoin the river syndicate I dropped this season owing to work and a house move as I really miss casting a line here.And just continue to look at life through a glass "Half Full View" as opposed to doom and gloom.And still take the piss on here,anyone seen the FM "Barbel Forum" over Christmas?You'll know what I mean.

I will wish you a safe and happy 2012,time for some Lemsip for me.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Ho Ho Ho

2011-12-24T15:33:00.012Z

Well it's that time of year again,the time for peace and good will to all men or is it?Yesterday I had a few brief hours out on the river and I mean brief.Gruff as ever had to cancel his angling trip with me at the last minute and trust me readers never have an angling companion who knows hows to fix broken boilers,as people crawl out of the wood work at this time of year for help!Thus scuppering our plans.

I'll keep it short but sweet a little like wee Jimmy Krankie,the filthy minx.I fished a local stretch of river to me and in the space of fours hours I had.......Slipped over in the cloying mud.Broken the tip of a John Wilson Quiver,tore my brace bottoms getting over a stile,landed four small Chub on my trusty Scotties cane rod.Oh and yeah,had a run in with a plank of a dog walker that resulted in the local plod actually tramping over fields,to find me as I told a delightful owner of a German Shepard that went for me,that if the dog came near me again I would throw it in the river.He phoned the old bill the prick.After his dog off the lead and him a good fifty yards way got very aggressive when it came across me.I love dogs,but my old boy was always under "manners".Oh and here was a wee Chub,caught in a rare moment of calm.

I could not wait to get home and that's about it.I will cut this short as it's getting on as I'm needed by my dear friend Mr.Claus to help deliver presents all over the world tonight.You see I love Christmas I really do and for those that do not,I feel for you.

So from high up on Yat Rock,enjoy your Christmas and keep the faith.Even if you use those dreadful carbon rod thingies!!

See you in 2012.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Still Water Barbel ?

2011-12-10T08:19:00.012Z

What is it with Barbel anglers on Internet forums that this particular subject causes so much angst and incrimination?Why do people drone on and on,night and day,day and night.But when something more significant raises it's head in Internet land,lets just say a pollution incident for arguments sake,people do not seem to care?Am I missing the point here?

Take a look at this if you will...........It's now on 23 pages of posts that in the most seem just pointless posturing,insipid and spiteful comments and well, just down right a load of old bollocks.And you know what,it's has had myself and others in stitches all week.It's possibly the funniest and most pointless thread in Internet land at present.If you are still with it at the end,take a peek at a very barbed comment aimed at dear old Fred Bonney........

http://www.fishingmagic.com/forums/barbel-fishing/260163-cracking-bag-barbel.html

He was likened to a "One Man Bile Generator" by another poster.I've never heard of such a thing to be honest.We had some big storms in the UK on Thursday night and with the prospects of power cuts looming,I Googled "One Man Bile Generator" and lo and behold up popped this.

Your very own "One Man Bile Generator",retailing at a rather costly £1.99 and I think every home should have one.Just look at those fluffy ears,isn't he just adorable?But seriously guys those they have in the main taken part on that thread.......Thank you for making my days at work go much quicker.I know the team over on FATWA,are glad of so many banned anglers posting elsewhere and not cluttering up FATWA.

Anyway,moving away from mischief and going back to a more gentler age of angling,we have these books being reissued by the Medlar Press written by "BB".They are "Be Quite and go Angling","The Whopper" and "A Carp Water".All are being sold for twenty pounds sterling,very reasonable if you ask me and I hope Santa brings me all three for Christmas,as I've been such a good boy this year.

Back to Football now and my comments about Doncaster Rovers last week really came back to haunt me,after they beat Southampton 1-0 at home.I would like to point out that the comment "They were Pony" was not said by me,but a friend.So all the texts into the Yat Phone giving me stick,may I suggest YOU READ the blog entry properly before being mean to me.That's mainly aimed at you Ian "Hooter" Mac OK?Also we lost at home to Burnley 1-2 after I predicted a win,great league the Championship,wholly unpredictable and I for one hope we do not get promotion.I can't let the football go with out thanking Mr.Joe Coral for offering such delicious odds on both the Manchester teams,getting knocked out in the week and a nice tickle that was.

Sticking with the gambling tack and a good meeting is taking place at Cheltenham today,I'll be home in time from work for this after popping down to Jermyn Street for Mummy and Daddy's Christmas presents.Main race of the day is the Christmas Gold Cup at 14.30 and a very competitive race.I'm going to have a small bet in what is only a very tentative selection in Great Endeavour,that is trading around 11/2 at present.

That's about it,all this being in work at the weekends is getting in the way of fishing.But that's life and I'm always one to see my glass as half full as opposed to half empty.I'll be out again for a few sessions over Christmas,both socially and on my Jacks.For what species,well maybe a few Still Water Barbel.Enjoy your weekend and If your on the bank today I envy you it's a lovely day to be out.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Doppelgangers Of The Angling World Part XIIII

2011-12-03T08:46:00.009Z

Nothing to report on the angling front this week from myself,way to busy at work.And I'm hastily doing this from my trusty lap top when I in truth I'm supposed to be getting a major presentation ready for next week.Who would honestly entrust me,to stand up and show what our company has to offer?The mind as they say simply boggles and I may not get out on the bank now until around the 21st when I lock up the desk and depart our bustling metropolis until the New Year.

But I have in quieter periods this week got the spy glass out and peered around from Yat Rock......First up is this little Doppelgänger that made me chuckle in the week and I hope it tickles your fancy in some way.Below we have Alexi Sayle that left wing so called "Comedian".

And here we have his twin brother Alexi Sayle also.I have not got a clue who this guy is,but I nicked this photo from the Fatwa gallery in the week.Who ever you are mate,nice scarf.And keeping with the real Alexi Sayle,I had the misfortune to catch him on radio 4 in the week and I do not find him in anyway amusing.Or his mate Ben Elton,I do so love a champagne swilling left wing comedian.It's very easy I would assume to be part of the Islington or Hampstead "intelligista"that loves to preach and tell us all how we should be more caring,while sitting in a gilded castle and that the nasty working class are bigots,for voicing concerns over immigration.I think you may know where I'm coming from on this.

Enough of the politics as it's a very emotive subject for us all at present,what with the country supposedly being on it's knees and it will be for a few years to come?So I'll get back to the football.We play at home to Burnley later on today and it's looking like it could be a good game.They came from behind to beat Hull 3-2 away last week and then demolished Ipswich 4-0 in the week.While we have also won our last two games.I think a 3-1 to us,shame I can't be there today but I'm going out to dinner tonight.And going football,then going out to dinner are not conducive really to a romantic night.It does look like poor old Doncaster are down already and I spoke to a Milwall mate of mine in the week and I quote"We are crap mate,but they are proper pony".All is not lost yet for Doncaster but I think it will be very hard for them and let's hope no other clubs try this so called "Experiment",where the agent pulls the strings.Oh and also Dirty Leeds(hello Rob) let me down for a treble last Saturday,then win away in the week mad that.I'll not say to much about Gary Speed,as this is not the place for it.I heard,while out having lunch last Sunday,very sad news indeed!Massive game also between Wolves and Sunderland tomorrow,a must win for Wolves surely and I'm sure all the plastics who post about their beloved Wolves on various angling forums will be at the game,as opposed to sitting at home in front of Sky.Yes you know who you are.

Lastly it's a cracking afternoons national hunt racing from Aintree and Sandown.Sadly the horse I wanted to back in the Tingle Creek at Sandown,Tataniano has been confirmed as a non-runner owing to conditions underfoot.I'll still be home in time from work to watch most of the meetings and can enjoy it without having a bet,I may have a little dabble if something catches my fancy.

That's it for this week,sorry for the lack of angling content.I could go out after work in the week and sit in the dark and wait for a Barbel to hang itself,just to post up a "fishy blog".Been there,done that and it bores me now.Much prefer to look around me but each to their own.Enjoy your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D.

Dead Baits At Dawn

2011-11-26T10:03:00.016Z

I should have played golf,pure and simple.But I could not find anyone to take the day off at short notice and I did not fancy turning up at my local club on the off chance of finding a game.Lest I get caught with Alan "Calculator"Jones,he needs it trust me.Or his mate "Turbo" who has the most dreadful stammer.So I went fishing.

How many ways can you dress up a blog entry,to hide a mundane blank?Shall I wax lyrical about the sunrise.Who wants to read that,we all see them do we not.I could mention Kingfishers swooping and the gentle song of a Robin and the like.How I enjoyed the solitude and the "just being there".Total bollocks that would be and I was bored.

I arrived at the river just at the light was creeping across the horizon(cue romantic song interlude) and Pike were crashing about all over the place below a weir pool, I had chosen to fish.I thought my luck was in,but by 07.30 when the sun was out the place was stock still.And that was it.My float did not move my Mackerel went unmolested and by 13.00 I decided enough was enough.Packed up and went home then went for a few pints. Highlight of the day?A phone call from the venerable"Ousemeister" to enquire how I was getting on and was I fishing alone.And he said this and I quote...."Much better to fish on your own mate,be like me,a loan wolf,trust your gut instincts stay focused and hungry".He said this without the merest hint of irony!There is a word for you mate and it begins with a W and ends in an R and not is not wonder.Your needed on Fatwa mate,with drivel like that.

Christmas is just around the corner and I know times are hard for many of us at present,but if your on the look out for a new book.Try this,a cracking read it is to,pricey yes but most angling books are these days.

Now a little rant........How the 'effing 'ell can four,yes that is four razor blades retail at £8.12?Is there and international cabal of razor manufactures all in cahoots with each other.It's a disgrace and I'm going to try and find out why they are so expensive.I sound a right grumpy sod today do I not.Good!

That is all your getting today,a total boring and pointless blog entry about nothing.But an honest one I like to think.I'm off to West Ham later as we play Derby at home,with a 17.20 kick off and the chances are I will be pissed or partly pissed.

Enjoy your weekend.

Be lucky.

Monty D

PS Well done to Yessling Ying on your capture yesterday mate,good to hear the elation in your voice.

Operation Ying And A Lucky Hat

2011-11-19T08:25:00.009Z

After last weeks sullen and lifeless blank on our local river,the pressure was really on as Yessling Ying was travelling over from the border lands for a days Perch fishing with Gruff and I.Yesslings PB Perch stands at a very modest and dare I say honest weight of 1.14lb and he has looked on in envy at some of the Perch we have caught over the years.Oh and it was his birthday yesterday so nowt like pressure is their?

We needed a change of luck as our local river has been in a fickle mood of late,with very little coming out.It just seems so listless at present but I had a plan!It was time for the lucky hat to make an appearance for the first time this season........

I know it's not your normal angling tifter and I apologise for the over zealous advertising,of MIZUNO MAKERS OF THE FINEST GOLF CLUBS IN THE WORLD,cough.But it is my lucky Perch hat so in the rucksack late on Thursday it went.

Operation Ying started in earnest at 05.00Hrs yesterday morning as I drilled my worms in what to expect from the Mongol hordes of Crayfish.In fact it was the finest speech of my life to be fair and each worm was bedecked in Claret and Blue with the motto "These colours don't run".William Wallace 'aint got nothing on me.

We met Ying at first light and after hand shakes and birthday greetings it was straight off to the river.I chose the venue this week as I've had plenty of three pound plus Perch here over the years, the largest being 3.12lbs.I can't catch a four pound Perch for love nor money no matter how hard I try,maybe that's the problem trying?I suggested an area for Ying to fish as for me it's an absolute "banker" Perch swim,but he declined owing to it's proximity to some over head power cables.Gruff being some what older than us had dropped into the nearest swim he could,muttering away about how it's "To bastard hot for mesen" in his finest Donnie accent.

We went upstream to a wooded area and fished side by side chatting about this and that.Both laughing about the Barbel Forum on Fishing Magic and how it's like a home for banned Fatwa posters.No fish were fourth coming so after an hour we moved back downstream and I'll not labour the point I failed my mate.I tried,I really did want him to catch a new PB Perch but all he caught were Minnows from a variety of swims.Gruff had a Perch of about a pound,but what was odd and I'm not complaining was the fact that not even the Crayfish were active and this place is full of them.The river is so low at present it was hard work,even the Chub were quite and they can be a pain when targeting the Perch.

I suppose I better mention how I fared being as it's my blog.Well as Yessling did not want to fish my "banker" swim I fished it and was rewarded with three Perch and a Dace.The largest of the Perch being this one here at 3.1lbs a real fat Crayfish muncher this fish.All caught on double lob worms on a size eight hook,yes even the greedy little Dace.I've got a nice photo holding the fish(thanks mate),but there is a very prominent land mark visible in the background and I can't be arsed to photo shop it out.So this will have to do I'm afraid.

I also bumped off a good fish just after noon,I cast out and went to return the rod to the rest when out of the corner of my eye I noticed the 'Pin going round.I lifted instead of struck and felt a good thump and then nothing,I assume a fish had taken the bait on the drop.Sod it or words to that effect.Sure I was glad to get a nice fish yesterday,but would much preferred that the birth day boy did but he took it well.Always another day though mate and I'm glad you like our Southern ditch,totally different to your Wye and Severn.I'm not sure I will fish next week or not as we need some rain to pep things up a little.The levels as said before are dire and the rivers around here are looking a little dirty and dishevelled.I fancy some Chub fishing in the frost to be honest,but it's still very mild and so will maybe have a game of golf.

I'll put my feet up later today,bottle of wine and listen to Talk Sport.Must crack on now and get things done and get down the bookies and put a few bets on.If your out this weekend tight lines and if your not,then why not?

Be Lucky

Monty D

Armistice Day Angling

2011-11-12T08:09:00.012Z

I did intend to give this blog entry the title of "Poppy Day Perch" as Gruff and I had a mornings Perch fishing yesterday.I took along a couple of extra Poppy's to place along side the fish we were bound to catch as I thought it would make a nice photo.And we blanked,not a sniff of a bite was to be had between us.

Conditions were text book for an Autumn Perch or two,low light levels and a fine drizzle and it just did not happen.Gruff's fault though as he wanted to fish a stretch of river that does not contain any Cray fish.It did not contain any fish either though did it mate,not a fish moved anywhere on the river.I fished five swims,one hour in each and the tip of the rod never moved while Gruff sat it out in one swim on the float for nixy poo.

Why was the river seemingly so devoid of life?I have not got a clue to be honest and spotted a rather forlorn Kingfisher dive again and again for his breakfast only to come back with nothing.A weir about a mile and a half further down stream has collapsed so the levels are very low that may be one reason.The EA says it's up to the Estate to fix the weir,the Estate say the opposite.So while they both argue the toss the river drops lower and lower on a daily basis.Here is the swim I spent the last hour in,tell me what self respecting Perch would not like to live here?Next week we have our mutual friend Yeslling Ying coming over for the day,so the plan is mate to listen to Monty and not Gruff.I won't let you down(have I ever),but bring about a 100 lob worms,as between the Cray fish we WILL catch some Perch.

Leaving the angling alone now for another week.I commute into central London for work on a daily basis.It's a pain as the trains get more and more unreliable,but the walk up from London Victoria has it perks at this time of year.I took this in the week as I go through Green Park on my way into the office.I like the old style lanterns as you can almost if you look very carefully see Mr.Tumnus step out on some mornings.Or is it just my furtive imagination.

Is it not really boring with no proper football this weekend,owing to a barrage of freindly matches.I'm not at all interested in England and have not been for some time.They play a pedestrian and bland style of football.Get back to the proper stuff next week!I did have a nice four timer go tits up last Saturday.BlackPool to beat Millwall at Evens,MK Dons to beat Rochdale at 8/13,Us to win away at Hull at 6/4 and Ipswich to beat Doncaster.Thank you Mr.Diouf you nasty so and so.

I'm not a James Bond film fan at all in this day and age.You can't beat Sean Connery in my humble opinion.It just bores me to tears as do many things to be truthful,my grouchiness seems to grow by the day.But..............Naomi Harris has been chosen to appear in the next Bond Movie.I have a huge crush on the lady she is gorgeous,hell I even fancied her in Pirates of the Caribbean and she had no teeth in that film.So I may be tempted,just may I said.

Lastly I've left you with this little clip above,it's still as poignant today as it was when it was first aired over twenty years ago.I'll be at Whitehall on Sunday as I normally am and would not miss it for the world.It just crackles with emotion and you don't need telling by the likes of me to wear your Poppy with pride.Or do you?

Enjoy your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Autumn Gold

2011-10-30T08:16:00.012Z

Mr Crabtree tells us that Perch are a species that are so synonymous with Autumn,with falling leaves and Autumn mists.And it was with a glad heart I jumped out of bed yesterday to arrive for a few hours Perch fishing at first light.The last time I cast a line on this particular beat of river was November 2009,and as I was walking across the fields great swirls of mists were rising in the chill morning air.You walk down about a mile or so towards the waters edge kicking up dew as you go along.

This particular beat has seen me fish for most species except Perch.And in the years I've been fishing here I have never seen another angler and yesterday was no different.All I had for company were the animals of the wood and an abundance of bird life.I set up in the first swim just as the daylight was breaking over the horizon intending to lay on with a juicy lob worm.But the plethora of leaves coming downstream,twisting and spinning like little upturned beetles made it difficult so I moved swims after half an hour.The second swim was no better also it was alive with Cray fish,time for a stroll to find another area.

I found around half a mile past this area a nice deep under cut and lowered in a link ledger.Sat back and then decided I needed to answer the call of nature,just as I was in full flow the rod was knocking away merrily and lunging for the rod missed the bite and managed to soak my left leg to.So I missed the first bite of the day added to that I pissed all over my self not really an auspicious start.

The wind was really picked up around 11 o'clock showering me and everything in a carpet of leaves.My rod top was constantly knocking with the rubbish that was floating downstream,so holding the rod was the best option and touch ledgerd until 1 o'clock when I packed up.No Perch showed for me today,but I was "Leted" out.

Chublets,Dacelets,Roachlets,Gudgeonlets, all to big to use as live baits for Perch.Around two dozen in total,gorging on my lob worms like it was to be a final meal.How they manage to get a large lobbie and a size 8 hook in their mouths is beyond me.I still had a nice six hours or so sitting in the sun and catching what ever wanted to be caught.Simple fishing really and will leave this beat of river alone until later in the season once hopefully the jack frost arrives.I'll not be able to cast a line now until the 11/11/11 as I'll be busy at work,thankfully though three consecutive Fridays after that date have been set aside for fishing.

Enjoy the rest of Sunday,I'll go out for a cupla around midday and wonder how many of the old boys will be grumbling that the Dukes Head has opened late?When in the truth they forgot to put there clocks back.

Be Lucky

Monty D

A Quandary

2011-10-22T08:50:00.012+01:00

Well this may be for some but not for me,let me begin.In the week I needed to have a quick phone conversation with the club secretary of one of the angling clubs I belong to.With that done he went on tell tell me that last Tuesday,he had to go and witness a large Barbel of over 19lb.A large fish most definitely and jolly well done to the capture.

I actually told him what swim it was caught from before he could tell me.You see there is a little section on a river I've fished on and off for the last ten years,no more than let us say 200 yards long that holds some very large fish.And I can say hand on heart that even though the fish live here,I have never had any inclination to cast a line for them.They seldom move and this section has anglers fishing cheek by jowl mostly seven days a week.It does how ever leave an upside as nearly six miles of river remain free for a few of us to fish in peace.Most of the club seem to flock for this small section and Oh it's by a car park.

I've been asked before why I do not fish this area.It's an easy question to answer for me as firstly I do not like fishing near people.We have,friends and I witnessed anglers fishing 30 yards apart along here.Would I like to catch a Barbel over 15lb?Yes mostly definitely,but on my terms.I'm a bit funny like that to be honest,as in my eyes it would mean very little to catch a fish from along this stretch.Would it make me a better angler to catch a large Barbel.Not really no,if you spend enough time here you will eventually bore one out.I'm not knocking people who want to fish this area and this area alone,but I'm not sure what pleasure you derive from fishing the same swims over and over.This group of fish have grown steadily over the years from 13 and 14lb.Fish we thought may move due to the pressure,but they appear to stay put.Perhaps it's all the pellet that gets thrown at them.So would you,the angler suddenly think............."Wow big fish that,I fancy some of that and I know the area" and shoot off down there.Or would you like me,just offer a wry smile and carry on fishing in peace.It's a quandary for some I guess.

As for me I've simply not had the time to get out this week as work as ever has been manic,I will try and get out Sunday afternoon though.Though conditions look far from perfect.Still he who dares Rodney,he who dares.

Moving on..................I had a call into the Yat phone in the week(I get more gossip than Max Clifford) about a well know angler in the Midlands and friend to some of us.It appears he has an unearthly fixation with people like this........

No not reformed coke heads,aliens.He has folders and folders of bumph in his spare room.He logs all information from all over the world on UFO sightings,alien abductions etc.Also the geek is going to California next year for a UFO convention.Now us anglers may seem a strange lot to some,but this is proper weirdo territory.A clue for you all,he supports the "Dogs Heads".

And keeping with the football theme.Did anyone listen to Talk Sport last night and the comments made about Doncaster Rovers.Apparently according to one wag they are a nothing club,with no fan base and that folk in Yorkshire support the likes of Leeds and the two Sheffield clubs.It's still there to listen to on the Talk Sport website.I had a little chuckle though as I know a certain blogger who follows the Rovers and wonder what his take on it is?

Lastly I work with a Stoke City fan,he left the lovely potteries many years ago and came south.Though he still gets to around half a dozen games a season.And he always brings back a copy of a fanzine The Oatcake.I had to take a photo of the front cover and put this on here.This lad crashed out,drunk as a lord for the whole 90 minutes when Stoke played away to Swansea recently.People tried to wake him,but alas to no avail and there but for the grace of god.....I doff my tifter from Yat Rock to you young sir.Your a legend.

Enjoy your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Black Bin Bags

2011-10-16T10:09:00.004+01:00

Sorry I could not resist this.

http://www.barbel.co.uk/site/vbulletin/forum/showthread.php?t=4684

Posted on the laugh factory that is Fatwa World,home of aspiring Nazi anglers.Read the post by Wayne Glossop.Is it me or doth he take this angling caper a little to serious?Time in prison for a fish what ever next.

Now watch this,you can imagine two of the Fatwa World Team selling black bin bags at Asda in Swindon.

The pub will be open soon thank god.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Way Back When

2011-10-15T08:34:00.013+01:00

Yesterdays angling trip was a little flat.My new fishing buddy was supposed to meet me around 08.00 as we had decided the previous week.Thursday night saw me tackling up with two Pike rods one for him and one for me.Friday morning I jump out of bed a quick shower and some toast and I'm off down the river for first light.It had turned a good deal colder overnight and I sat and watched the mist rising like a procession of spirits on there way to who knows where.

Anyway about an hour later Edwards daughter turned up and said her farther was feeling under the weather with a cold and could not fish.Nice of here to come down and tell me though,it does seem everyone has a rotten cold at the moment.Hopefully another time as I want to help catch him a Pike or two.I've got a few holiday days to take off in November so fingers crossed and all that.

I blanked yesterday and by mid morning the sun was belting down as it is today.The river seemed lifeless and in need of a drop of rain.The day passed by in a haze really and my mind drifted back to how and when I started to fish.My first rod and reel was bought back in 1980 from Woolworth's aged ten I was then.Black and White Shakespeare,snap lock reel seat and a rubber stopper at the butt end that hid a deep maroon colour glass rod.At ten feet long it was the bollocks.Chuck in a few sundry items and I was finally good to go.

No one in my family has ever fished and they assumed within a couple of weeks that I would get bored,and tuck the tackle away.I've never been blessed I suppose with what you would call an even temperament,suffering fools not.No patience either,liable to walk out of a bank Que rather than waste five precious minutes of my life.But here I still am today fishing 31 years later and if you asked me why I could not tell you.

I started out on the Regents Canal in Hackney.Here is a little photo(not mine) of how she looks in Haggerston now.I've spent a fair amount of time in my old manor over the last three months or so and the area has undergone a huge transformation.I can't believe a one bedroom apartment in Dalston Square will cost you £365,000.

Back in my day it was mostly large estates.Our was the Kingshold(big up the Well Street Massive).You had The Holly Street,Frampton Park,Kingsmead,Pembury etc. etc.But near these ran the Regents Canal.And I have a confession(I feel like an alcoholic here)......My name is Monty Dalrymple and I did not catch a fish for two years.No honestly I did not,not even a humble Gudgeon.You see I had no one to show me,no one fished or was interested in fishing.I went without fail most weeks come wind,rain or shine.Wrapped up in multi layers,five pairs of socks to try and keep my feet warm.We have all been cold over the years,but Christ did the wind whip down the Regents in the winter.I did not know how to shot a float properly,I can still see in my minds eye me trying to impale a gentile on a size 8 hook.

But I never gave up,kept going much to my Mothers dismay,she hated her fridge being used for bait.Until one day when and old boy came along the path and stopped and told me and I still hear these words today"You need to shot your float down son and plumb the depth".He may as well asked me to explain quantum physics.He said he lived close and would be back shortly and sure enough he was.He spent some time with me and off he went just like that.And that day I caught a Roach about six inches long.I was a fisherman at last and did not stop talking about it all night.Next weekend I caught eight small Perch,yes eight.I still smile now for when I told my Dad I had eight and the look on his face said......Of course you did son.I never got the chance to really thank that old boy for what he gave me,a gift.The gift of time and without him I may have well jacked it all in.That's why I always try and offer help to kids when fishing,though seldom see any these days.But will the anglers of today and there constant want,need,must have the best swim info on fishing forums still be around in 31 years time,maybe, maybe not.Try and fail but keep trying.What is the point if every thing about angling is so desperately easy.

Of course I expect he may be long gone now from this earth,though if he isn't I would assume he would be nearing 90 or so.I would like to think he was still walking along the toe path offering a few sage words when needed.But I walked not three weeks ago from Haggerston down to Colombia Road flower market on a bright Sunday and saw not a soul fishing.So he may always remain a very cherished memory.And I,unbeknown to him owe that man a huge debt of gratitude.Thank you.

Below we have my mate Yessling Ying with a Salmon of 10.7 he caught last week while fishing for Roach.Caught on a trotted Tare no less and landed on a 2lbs bottom.I have had to obscure his face as he serves with the finest regiment in the world.And is based at Creden Hill,in the lovely county of Hereford shire.Cracking fish mate,beats slotting the Taliban does it not?Or knowing you as I do then maybe not and I'll see you in a few weeks.

That's about it,lovely warm weather down in the tropical south.I'm off to West Ham later as we play Blackpool.So what ever you do,do it well.Perch next week at some stage for me,as Chez Monty has an abundance of worms.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

New Found Friend

2011-10-08T08:52:00.014+01:00

I managed to wangle a day off from work yesterday intending to fish for Perch,but had a last minute change of plan as the lob worms in my local tackle emporium were crap.I normally order mine online about a 100 at a time and these keep if looked after for a few months.So instead I thought I would try and catch a few Pike from my local river.

I arrived at first light,my rod was already made up and cast out.Then an old boy came along and asked If I would mind moving as he could not walk far.I was set up in slow area below a weir and fancied it to produce a few fish.What can you do?I moved above him to this swim here,so he could feeder fish below me.

I had a chat with the old boy a few times in the morning and it turns out he was 81 years old and likes to fish every Friday.To be truthful he was utterly charming and a bit of a character.I was blanking though in fine style while he was getting silver fish a chuck.His daughter collected him just before noon,but before he departed he asked If he could Pike fish with me in the future as he had not caught one for many a year.I gave a quick call to work and arranged to take a day off next Friday,so he may appear here next week.He does have Internet access and as he said....."It's a real boon to us oldies you know Jason it is not all bed pans and blankets just yet".

With my new fishing partner gone I moved back to where I originally started.And between noon and 1300Hrs I had four pick ups that resulted in two Jacks about 5/6lbs and two lost fish one that felt much better than the stamp I had caught.I was trying something different as I normally use treble hooks for my Pike fishing.This rig here...

There has been a fair amount written over the last few years about the pros and cons of single hook rigs for Pike fishing.I will give it a few more sessions yet,but will dispense with the barbless hook and try a larger barbed single.No one likes to loose fish on a regular basis but If I keep dropping fish shall revert to treble hooks.Still a nice few hours though and I'm looking forward to next Friday already.

Moving on.......Here we have Rich,Rick,Richard?Frampton with his new PB caught in the week.Well done sir,you do though look like you have something on your mind?Maybe that nasty,unscrupulous ex(though it's not been announced yet) BS Treasurer chap.Who not only suffers from amnesia,he also mislays things......Allegedly

Lastly we go back to my old friends at BFW aka Fatwa and this wonderful thread here.No one disputes that we do not have a problem with poaching in the UK at present.But lads try and put across a lucid point or two,instead of a herd mentality.

http://www.barbel.co.uk/site/vbulletin/forum/showthread.php?t=4577

Below are the Fatwa masses heading off to Poland in the Spring for there annual fishin.

That's about it.Enjoy your weekend if your out on the bank take time to look around you.It's not all about what you catch.

Be lucky

Monty D

Speciman Angler Branches Out

2011-10-01T08:25:00.010+01:00

You simply cannot keep a good man down or so it seems.My inbox here at Yat Rock is normally very adept at filtering out spam e-mails.But this one here managed to sneak in.

"Well known Coventry big fish man Phil Smith,has decided to bring out his own brand of sartorial elegance to the masses and has launched his own male grooming range""Phil was tired of Bivvy Tramps cluttering up Orchard Lakes when on bailiff duties and both he and that dapper don Marsh Prattley got there heads together and came up with the idea"

The blurb went on........"Phil thought he could teach all you balding men the art of a good comb over".Who would have thought it eh,sheesh what ever next?It's made me wonder what other well known anglers may plug in the future.I'm sure I can come up with a few though.

I also spotted this from Yat Rock recently...............

The Worlds largest sperm bank in Denmark is asking Scottish women planning to use their services to "consider a ginger" after revealing "a lack of demand" for red-haired children.Cryos,has stopped donations from red-haired men after it reached it's capacity of 70 liters(you can see where I'm going with this I'm sure).A recent study predicted that red hair could die out in the next 100 years and Ole Schou,a director at Cryos said"We would be more than happy to supply people in Scotland who are looking for a child with red hair.I know that it's popular in places like Scotland and Ireland".Look below would you and pray that the ginger gene does indeed die out.

Well it's the traditional start of the Pike fishing season today.But down in the South East of the country we are experiencing temperatures of around 80 degrees.What does it all mean?Is global warming true and not just a flash in the pan made up by some tree hugger who reads The Guardian.I remember when October used to look like this in the photo below.OK I did not take this last October,but December but you get the gist I'm sure.Will we get another really Arctic winter here in the UK,I hope not but time will tell.

No fishing this weekend as I'm off to football later as we are away to Crystal Palace this afternoon.Nice day for a few pints and to take in a game.Predictions from Monty,a draw I think.No tip for the Arc either,as the horse I would have backed Nathaniel,was pulled out in the week owing to the fast going over in Longchamp.I did tell the lads down on the Wye last weekend that may be the case.

So I'll wish you all a very good weekend and as ever.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Wye Trip

2011-09-26T15:29:00.019+01:00

Last weekend twenty or so anglers made the long trip to the Wye Valley,to fish the beautiful river Wye and more so enjoy the social side of things as much as the angling.We were all billeted at the Red Lion Hotel and people travelled down from Yorkshire,Wiltshire,Birmingham and even one or two doughty souls from Surrey.

We left home at 0530Hrs and pulled into the Red Lion for a quick chin wag with Mike the owner at bang on 0830Hrs.That done we headed off to the river and had a little stroll to see where we fancied fishing.I hoped to target Pike on the Friday so set off roaming dropping a dead bait in various looking spots.I fancied a swim at the top of beat two yomped up from beat four,only to find old man Trusscott safely ensconced with his bait dropper,sod it!I'll keep the Pike fishing short as by 1500hrs I was shattered walking miles of river for no action at all.So I decided to get the Barbel rod out for a few hours.

I settled into this swim here,climbing down the bank to where I could fish and dropperd in some bait.There was a huge abundance of silver fish present.Perch were literally coming clear out of the water in sheer desperation to get at hordes of Dace and Minnows.I just had the one bite just before packing up at 1800,this little chap here of around maybe 7lbs.

Friday night in the bar was a real good crack,with various regional dialects all vying to be heard.The Cider and Guinness flowed,in fact so much of the black stuff was drunk that the Yorkshire mob went on the Red Wine,big mistake.Pissed as a fart was a certain man from team Yorkshire.I hit the sack at around 0300Hrs after being on the piss for around eight hours.I awoke at 0700Hrs feeling top of the world,in for breakfast and a nice fry up then out onto the river.But around mid morning it had all caught up with me and I had a kip for a while.

More fish were to make an appearance in the afternoon when we were not either sleeping,or gassing away to our hearts content.This Perch weighed in at a lovely 3.5lbs for my mate Mr.Double Decker.A new PB by some two ounces and well chuffed was he and the plaudits rained down on him all Saturday night back in the bar.Well done mate your perseverance payed off.

I managed one more fish before we all headed back to the Red Lion,to do battle once more with booze and the Pigeon Pie that was superb.If your down that way do try it.
This gave me a cracking fight and I thought it may be my first Wye double,but it was to fall short by seven ounces.Was I worried?Nope not at all.Chuck in a few Chub I caught I was a happy man.

Considering the amount that is drunk on these "Do's",not a cross word was heard amongst the assembled throng.Big thanks to Carl Salter for arranging this event and we will do it all again next Autumn.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Still No Fishing

2011-09-17T08:10:00.014+01:00

Shall I change the name of this blog?Here I sit in work again and I've thought about calling it "Monty Dalrymple and the view from Berkley Square",lap top to one side and work all over the desk.I have not fished this little in over ten years and it's really making me one miserable bastard.But I knew the early part of the season would be like this,what with the house move in July and work piling up and If staff at UBS can work all hours under the sun and loose 1.3 Billion(Swiss Francs I'd wager and well long in the market too),then it's good enough for me.Though as I mentioned last week,this will be the end of it after tomorrow.I should not complain to much as there are many,many people out of work at present.So I'll just crack on and take the piss a little as per............

This week I took a call into the Yat phone around noon,suggesting I point my spy glass in the direction of FishingMagic and a new blog.I've put a link up to the blog in question here,so you can have a read for yourself.I'll not be critical of any ones blog,as by doing one you are opening yourself up to maybe ridicule and general piss takes.I'm not fussed what people think of me,the old saying of "Bollocks to 'em"springs to mind.Others may be of a more sensitive nature,though I have not made up my mind If this lad is for real,or is on a major wind up?Either way a new Trent legend has been born...........Yes another one.

http://ricky2912-myquestforbarbel.blogspot.com/2011/07/articles-part-3-flooded-rivers-for.html

Here we have a little Doppelganger for you.Below is that Noddy Holder chap who hails from the bad lands of the midlands.And gets on my tits every Christmas,with THAT song.

And below we have all round Barbel legend Fred "Barbel can't smell"Crouch.And to be brutally frank,if this is what understanding Barbel makes you look like.Well you can keep it!

Twelve thirty today we play Millwall at the new Den.They only gave us two thousand tickets and for season ticket holders only.So I'll not be going to this one today,more's the pity.If you have never been to a game between us two teams,you have missed a real treat.The atmosphere crackles will pure malevolence and the days of old down at the Old Den,will long live in my memory.I've got mates who are Millwall and they desperately want to beat us.The banter has been flying back and fourth all week.Here we have the changing rooms down at that Pikey shit hole Bermondsey.

I know this is supposed to mostly be an angling blog and after my weekend away down in the Wye valley,angling will feature more prominently as things will be back to mormal.But as another blogger mentioned the other day......."Some bloggers seem to have got lazy or maybe have nothing to say".Well I do not like to dissapoint the old boy,sure he likes to come across all acerbic.But me thinks he just a big cuddly teddy bear really and he loves to get a rise.Enjoy your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Abscess Angling

2011-09-10T07:56:00.012+01:00

Last Monday night my old friend the tooth abscess decided to pay me a visit.Anyone ever had one of these?Face swells up,huge pain and much gnashing of teeth,crying to the heavens to make it stop.The last time I had one was about three years ago,so I know how to manage it until you can get to the Dentist.Lot's of warm salt water to try and draw the abscess up and out of the gum.You then give it a little nick so you can relieve the pressure.It works and helps,well it does for me though it's not for the faint hearted.

I managed an appointment at the Dentist for first thing Wednesday morning,not an awful lot you can do really.He gave me a prescription of Co-amoxiclav that last for five days, with the old no drinking line and it has cleared up.What it did allow me to do,was shoot off straight down the river on Wednesday.

And I spent six hours blanking.I'll not dress it up all flowery and say it was nice and wildlife were about in abundance.Because they were and it was.But there was a cold wind blowing across the fields and muggings 'ere was not best dressed for it.So when your not to comfortable you do not fish very effectively,well I do not.Still no fishing on the horizon for the next few weekends owing to work,which is where I'm typeing this from.Though I'll be out of here at noon to go to Upton Park.Do I dare have a cupla of pints seeing as I'm on antibiotics?It would be rude not to in my eyes.

But thank fully two weeks from now I'll be free from the constraints of work at the weekends.And twenty or twenty one of us will be down in the Wye Valley,for a jolly up staying in the Red Lion Hotel on Friday and Saturday night.Looking forward to this immensely,not so much the fishing but the social.You can bet your bottom dollar that Steve(Eelfisher) Richardson has a tale to tell or three.

Lastly it's the final classic today of the flat season.The St.Ledger at Doncaster although I've not had a bet yet.I will have a little flutter on Masked Marvel e-way at around 7/1 or 13/2 depending on who you punt with.I'll save the Rugby World Cup for others,though we will have it on in the office today.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgangers Of The Angling World Part XIII

2011-09-03T09:37:00.020+01:00

I've not done one of these for ages,but while peeking down from my vantage point on Yat Rock today.I felt this was an opportunity to good to pass up.Below we have that delicate wallflower and some say cantankerous old cuss Ade Williams,or he may be better known to you as Titus Atticus?

And in the next photo we have that well known Barbel Demi-God(no not Chris Ponsford),but none other than Grumpy from Walt Disney fame,with his new Barbel PB of I think 16lb.Caught on some home rolled specials that Snow White knocked up prior to having a little kip.

Moving swiftly on as I'm pushed for time, this came into the Yat phone yesterday.I will set the scene..........You retire for an early night,all your assorted tackle is ready for the morning.You have a fit full nights sleep as thoughts of giant Roach swim in your subconscious.You awake early and load up your car for a whopping two and a half hours drive to your chosen venue.Life feels good,your not at work for the day and the weather is sublime.Some two and a half hours later you arrive at your venue of choice.You start to unload your tackle while on the phone to a friend(yeah great friend),and all of a sudden it dawns on you like a Rhino horn up your arse........."Oh for fooks sake I've left me bastard maggots in the fridge".I won't say who our intrepid piscator is though as he feels a right twat.Enjoy your weekend though folks.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Football Bloody 'Ell

2011-08-29T09:13:00.029+01:00

Well the football season has been back with us for around three to four weeks now.And I'm enjoying being in the Championship.Our home crowds have held up well since relegation and it's a league that is highly competitive.Sure we got off to a poor start against Cardiff,good crack that day though.Beat a very understrength Doncaster Rovers,who look in deep trouble already.Beat Watford away,drew with Leeds at home who for a Sunday kick off brought large numbers of fans.Lost in the week to Aldershot and yesterday had a good result away to Nott's Forest that resulted in a 1-4 for us.

People asked me early on in the season If 5/1,was a good price to go straight back up as Champions?I said no,as I remember how difficult the league was last time.I for one would not mind staying in this league,as it's better to win a few,loose a few and draw a few.Than get a right canning every week.Our next two up are Pompey at home and then the big one.........Milwall away.And as ever I think we can expect a friendly handshake from our close neighbours.I did hear that both sets of fans tried to meet up in Surrey Quays for a dance,before the season even started.But were tumbled by plod.Most sensible people would have been lying on a beech some place,instead of trying to throw a few right 'anders about.Shame on you,you naughty boys ;-0.

Now to yesterdays two games in the boring old Premier League.I listened to S***s against Man Citeh on the Crystal Set with much mirth and tears rolling down my face.Every time I took a sip of wine,Citeh banged another one in.To loose 5-1 at home must have been devastating for the S***s faith full.Although Citeh did sound a class side,but they should do with all the money they have spent.Scotty Parker will end up at S***s this week and I do not think any of ours will mind really?He has been great for us over the last two years.So go break a leg Scotty I wish you well.

Had to laugh after though,as old Saggy Chops was bemoaning the fact that Modrick has been tapped up.And the boys head has been turned.Pot and kettle you two bob wanker.Oh and the lads phoning up Talk Sport after were class......"Sack Harry" seemed to be the cry.
Then when we thought we could laugh no more this happened.Man United turn Arsenal over a mighty 8-2.Arsenals largest defeat since 1927.What has happened over in that part of North London?Like all of us who enjoy football,Arsenal have played some great stuff over the last ten years or so.But I reckon they will struggle this season and not qualify for the Champions League.
Arsene knows is the mantra that Arsenal fans like to trot out,while looking smug.Not now he does not lads.Here he is yesterday.......

I bet it was fun in old Popsy4's gaff yesterday as his Arsenal and his better half is S***s.I reckon both Sunday dinners ended up over the back fence?Anyway enjoy your bank holiday,it's a long way to the next one.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Good Morning

2011-08-27T08:01:00.022+01:00

Well the summer went very quick did it not?I'm at last back online after the house move and to be honest I have missed not being able to offer up a few thoughts,on this and that from my vantage point on Yat Rock.

I have not done as much fishing at the weekends as I would have liked.Work and sorting out the new gaff took over.So mostly I have been grabbing a few hours after work,two or three times a week.I've not caught very much to shout about on the fish size front,but have caught a fair few Barbel to a little under double figures without putting in to much effort.But if you looked at the forums..............No I'll come back to that later.

Perch and Carp on the river have also been fished for to no great avail.Gruff and I did have a Saturday after Perch a few weeks back and we saw not another angler.It bodes well for the Autumn Pike and Perch fishing that we are both looking forward to and this morning when I was out for a run,it was a real fresh morning.Yes I've been running again and been off the smokes for three weeks now.Long may it remain so!

Just a couple of photo's from the river about five minutes from home.Both these swims produced fish of various species.This was early July.
And this one here is from early August.A lovely secluded swim this and a favourite of mine to blank in. Now back to the forums as ever............................Fatwa World gets worse and worse.I did hear poor old Rich Frampton got banned over there recently.It's a sad loss as he always added good comedy value when ever he posted.How is you back Rich?His "Boss" is not happy either and has been swapping e-mails with Mr.Francis.And also phoning up one of the mods offering in his eyes sage advice.I hear it all on the Yat Phone.And keeping with the phone theme........What is it with BS committee members both past and present and inappropriate text messages?Blimey the ones flying around on Wednesday were very rude even to my eyes.Shame on you that you could not converse in a more civil manner.

That will do for now,I'll save the football for another day.Well until dear old Bob Roberts is about as he and I swapped a few e-mails recently.And I hate to say he was right about Doncaster.

It's good to be back.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

Just A Quick One

2011-07-06T14:43:00.004+01:00

I have had a few text messages asking what has happened to the blog?Easy moved house last Friday and that has taken up most of the time these last few weeks.But everything went very smoothly.But Virgin cannot get me back online for about four weeks,just as well as I'm skint and will not have the cash for a new lap top for a while.The one I'm using has it's rightful owner looking over my shoulder like a hawk.

I have managed a couple of trips out lately.A few Barbel and some Chub on the first trip and a rather nice River Carp yesterday.When I'm all sorted and have my own machine again,I can get back into this blogging caper.It keeps me sane getting things off my chest as so much needs to be pilloried.

I did hear though that an angler has been banned from The Royalty.He lumped into one swim,twenty five Kilo's of bait for a day session.But was caught fishing afters hours.Twenty Five kilos for a day,sheesh he makes the "Yam Twins" seem like armature's.;-).Also the Bard has been made a moderator on Fatwa world eh.They both deserve each other.

You'll not get to much out of me for a month or so.I'll still be looking around from work,but the great and the good will not be happy with me doing the blog from the office.So keep enyoying your fishing boys and girls.

Be Lucky.

Monty D

The Best Laid Plans

2011-06-20T16:44:00.006+01:00

Not really an auspicious start to the river season for me this year,although the first few weeks never tend to be.I had a few hours out near home after work on the opening day and made the fatal mistake of not taking an umbrella with me.Muggins here thought the rain had abated for the day.

And in a nutshell I got soaked in a short three hours session.Just a poncho on to shelter me from the heavy downpours.How people can fish like that on a regular basis is beyond me ?I did intend to move about and try and stalk some Chub that inhabit this stretch of river.But I hid under a tree with rain water running down my back for one small Chub about three pounds on corn.

Now Saturday never really got going,or someone never!I arranged to meet Gruff at 05.30 in the morning.I awoke at 04.00,had a shower and done a light breakfast and set off to meet the legend. Alas the old boy got his times mixed up.He did say in his defence that his old and forgetful and he was very,very sorry.I'll let him off this time but do I have to ring you five times a day in future just make sure your breathing.So I ended up in work doing yet more overtime,that will be the theme this coming weekend to.I'll doubt I will make a full day on the river until mid July what with the holiday season coming up.I'll have to console myself with a few short after work sessions until then.

Now to a subject that has set a few angling forums alight.The matter of pre-baiting!I'll not labour the point to much as it's mostly been said these last few days.People getting cross and toys being thrown about left right and centre. But guys you have a new bait team on the middle Severn.Here we have the "Yam Twins".

A word of advice If I may be so bold.If you do see two guys like this spodding out kilo after kilo of bait.Move as you can bet your bottom dollar the fish are not where these two guys are;-).Better luck next time guys I'm sure you will get your just reward.So much bait was put out that the flood defences were raised almost weekly.

Be Lucky

Monty D

A New Season Beckons

2011-06-14T16:52:00.004+01:00

Well the waiting is almost over for those anglers who prefer running water as opposed to still waters.I'm sure many anglers have checked and looked at their tackle over and over these last few days.I was not going to cast a line until Saturday but have wangled an early swerve on Thursday,so hope to be on the river near home for a few hours after work.

The rains have come over most of the country after such a barren dry spell.And a deluge looks on the cards for the opening day of the 2011/2012 season.For those who will be on the bank in anticipation of the first cast at midnight I envy you.It's a very magical moment I'm sure many people agree.I doubt many of us grown up and very adult anglers will sleep well these last few nights.I never sleep well prior to going fishing as I'm excited and I hope that feeling never expires.

I shall tuck my self away and just see what comes along,safe in the knowledge that we have another nine months to fish.

I hope where ever you cast a line this season you enjoy it and make new friends and maybe build some bridges with old ones.But If you come across me,please piss off as in the name of the very famous actress......"I Vant to be alone".

Be Lucky

Monty D

River Walk And Derby Days

2011-06-04T13:29:00.028+01:00

Well the the river close season is nearly at an end and I'm glad of the sabbatical,I only cast a line once on a lake back in April.But the break has done me the world of good and I am looking forward to getting back out again.It has flown by and as I posted in the last close season,as we get older we mark the passage of time by our angling seasons,as opposed to those odd people who do not fish and who go by the real time calender.I feel sorry for those who do not to be honest as who wants to live in the real world?I much prefer to live the life of a dreamer.

I took a stroll this morning down my local river,it was sadly very low and looked in need of a good drink.But though the month of June looks set to be warm and sunny the rest of the summer should be varied.I hope for once the weather man is right but I shall not hold my breath.I spotted the occasional Barbel and plenty of Dace and Chub swimming in and out of the faster flowing water.But I was more keen to find some Carp in the slower areas as my target for the summer is a river "20".I've set myself a little task to only use sweetcorn,luncheon meat,or floating baits.Just a bit of fun for me really,as I do not need to compete against other anglers.I enjoy mooching about with the minimal of tackle.Not long now to the magic of June the sixteenth,though as I have mentioned before I shall wait a while to fish the smaller rivers......

Now to some scurrilous accusations.It appears five copy's,yes that is right FIVE copy's of this book have gone missing.I'm sure it is an administration error and not someone up to no good.I'm sure they will turn up soon as to loose seven hundred pounds worth of books is mighty clumsy.But I wonder why a certain person was enquiring recently If anyone was off to the Hay-on-Wye book festival.No comments on "Book Gate" please gent's as I'm embarrassed for the people as it is.And as ever I love to take the proverbial.

Now back to football.I've had plenty of people giving me stick recently about our new manager down at Upton Park.It's not an inspired choice really,but who is of sound mind and wants to come to West Ham with the mess we are in.But if you sing"Big Fat Sam's Claret and Blue Army" enough it grows on you.Here is our man in the dug out for next season.

And so to the Derby,last year I tipped the winner on here and as I'm blowing my own trumpet I also posted the Grand National winner prior to the off.This year I've backed Pour Moi each way at 6/1.Will it win?God knows as the race this year looks more open than usual.Carlton House the Queens horse is favourite and it will bring many a roof down and Epsom itself if the horse stays the trip,but that is the conundrum with the Derby.Rough race,undulating track that does not suit every horse and does not often give you a good luck story unlike the Grand National.I'm a romantic so much prefer my National Hunt racing though.Can it really be thirty years since Walter Swinburn won the Derby by ten lengths on Shergar.Where does the time go.If Carlton House goes clear in the final furlong expect to see this in your news papers on Sunday.I'll be at a different Derby later on today,Wimbledon dog track no less.

Lastly I went to see this band a few nights back at the Hammersmith Apollo the Fleet Foxes.They polarise peoples views a little like Marmite I though think they are superb.Great harmonies and song writing.

Enjoy your weekend.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Pub Talk

2011-05-26T16:30:00.010+01:00

I'd like to point out that this is not my spot from up here on Yat Rock.Various people have implored me over the last week to blog this.I would have been none the wiser if it had not been for some beady eyed foot soldiers,employed on the minimum wage by my good self.But top work my little darlings,top work.

On the link below we have the superb double act of the late Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.And very funny it is too.Sorry for just the link and not the whole video but the uploading was taking for ever so I took the easy route.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvQq_tqB0jA

And then please feel free to watch the video below, you will see two of the Barbel angling worlds greats.Sure it's very old footage but take note from the video around 4.45 in. Notice the likeness?

While still on the subject of Barbel,my money is on Dave Stueart to receive the Gordon Scott award at next weekends Barbel Society show.Is there anyone else in the running?Maybe Peter Wheat?Who knows but I will be there in spirit.This weekend I'm on a work party on a local club stretch of river.And if it is like the last ten years,it will be poorly attended as ever.Ho hum,then I'll sort through my tackle ahead of the new season.I reckon I'll start on the Thames this year,but not on opening day.

Now more football........Champions League final at Wembley on Saturday and I was offered two corporate tickets for the game between Barcelona and Manchester United.I thought about it but declined.It just seems wrong for fans from either club to not get tickets.While the people who hang on to the game get a freebie.But I'll have my Spanish hat on this day.And what about Ryan Giggs and we all knew weeks back?Lovely looking wife and you cheated for what?Why go out for a burger Ryan,when you have fillet steak at home.And what about QPR,promoted to the premier league and the board want to put season ticket prices up by 40%.That is a piss take of the highest order,I know two season ticket holders at QPR,who have seen a large increase in the last two seasons.But not on this scale,a shame for the fans.But I'm hardly surprised as the fans are secondary,to the posers they have in charge.I wonder what ours will cost next season?Two Dildos and a Magic Rabbit perhaps.

My god it's raining first time in weeks,about bloody time too!

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part XII

2011-05-20T15:36:00.019+01:00

I'm afraid to say still no angling for me owing to work commitments,but I have been assured by the powers that be everything will be put to bed by the middle of July.I do hope so as it is really getting on my wick,we all want an additional few bob in our pocket but as a wise man once said"You can't take it with you Monty old son".Very true is that,very true indeed.

So here we have another one of these.Here is Mr.Ousemeister who used to tread those hallowed boards over on Fatwa World.Constantly tweaking the rather sensitive nose of "Derrick he of the nine pound Chub but no camera".Anyone else part with there hard earned cash so he did not sell his tackle after a post on Fatwa?Last I heard he was Mullet fishing in Spain with Ryan Giggs,yes you can't hide out their for ever Ryan,time to face the music maybe,say no more say no more ;-)

And here we have Beaker from the Muppet Show,who has been doing some Carp fishing on a very private Northants Pit.So private in fact that it is closed to all and sundry unless like Beaker does,you shoot in the shooting season.He is seen here with his trusty Gun Dog Redknapp,who sticks his nose in everywhere that does not warrant his attention.

Now to the rain or lack of it.I know I touched on this briefly last week but we still have very little rainfall..And the forecast for June down here does not look very promising either.I have been speaking to people over the last week and it seems that rivers in Yorkshire,The South East and the West are currently akin to late Summer levels.Sure the big rivers like the Wye,Thames,Severn and Trent can cope.But I'm generally concerned about the smaller rivers to be truthful.This Spring has been drier than the infamous summer of 1976,I was only young sure.But I have a vague memory of the parks being cracked wide open,due to the lack of the wet stuff.Fingers crossed I think from me here at Yat Rock that things can and will change soon.

May I take this opportunity to welcome Yesling Ying to the order of "The Creel",He has,at the tender age of 44 finally got his first cane rod.After a moment of epiphany earlier on in the week.As of today he is the proud owner of a Chapmans 550 Delux,bought from a mate at mates rates.The best way to do it.Lots of people seem to be coming out of the dark and into the light these days?

He does though need a name for the rod as all cane rods should have a name.Fire them into me here at Yat Rock.

Lastly only in America............

A dwarf barista at a Starbucks cafe in El Paso,Texas has the backing of the federal government after bringing a case against the US giant for wrongful dismissal.She was sacked in essence, in case she spilt a hot beverage on a customer,thus bring an even more costly case.So far so good I would say.But up pops......Gary Arnold speaking on behalf of the Little People of America,I'm not making this up honest.And I quote"Thousands of people of short stature contribute to the productivity and diversity of our communities by going to work every day" he told the Seattle Weekly.

Starbucks hit back"We're really proud of our track record for hiring partners with a variety of disabilities,we take the concerns that are included in the law suit very seriously.We have a zero tolerance policy for discrimination of any kind"Said a spokesperson.

Would it not have been easier just to buy the lady a stool?As I say only in America.That's it,as ever being Friday I'm off out for a cupla pints.Enjoy your weekend and good luck to Wolves and Blackpool.I want Wigan and Brum down with us.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Down But Not Out

2011-05-15T19:45:00.010+01:00

Well so ends our stay in the Premier League,but did we deserve to stay up?Nope not in any shape or form.It is undoubtedly the least organised side I've seen down at our gaff for a long,long time.And I've seen a few and today's capitulation sums it all up very well indeed.Our defence has been truly awful all season.One wonders who's great idea it was to bring in that wanker Wally Downs and I quote...."Shake 'em up a bit".Well that worked eh?

Avram oh dear sweet Avram,no wonder your wife admitted on Television she drinks her own pee,look what we have had to put up with.And I was told yesterday by someone very close to Sir Trevor Brooking, that when we were getting beaten at home recently to the Villa,you were slated by Sullivan and you just turned and laughed.Well I would do the same on a four year contract.

And that brings me onto the ever so lovely Karen Brady,who offers or so it is said profound business advice on the apprentice. All I can say is I reckon you and Sir Alan are at it love,for a four year contract for Avram,you must have very special attributes other than your business acumen?Four years you daft cow.I'll leave the players out of it as they know they can go,we do not care and nor do you.Well most of you.

I feel for the lads who travelled today and yes TP you can stop your text messages now, as I'll be at the relegation piss up next Sunday when we play the Mackems.And on fine form I've even booked Monday off work :-)

Things to look forward to?Lots of friendly banter with Milwall,Leeds,Cardiif or Swansea.So chin up lads,get out your glad rags cause........"Were all going on a northern city tour",reckon I'll be about for a lot more way games next season.And an old tune to get the more morose among us through.

Be Lucky

Monty D

A Month Away

2011-05-13T19:58:00.013+01:00

Well we are about four weeks away from the start of the river season.Many anglers across the various forums are champing at the bit for the hallowed June the sixteenth.Plans are being made,tales of two day sessions and hauling plenty of "Boris" are in the offing.Plans to pre-bait,spod out loads of bait and I dare say masturbate,are what a real Barbel angler mostly aspire to these days?Or is it?

It was a very warm April and "Agent Farmpton" and company were all in a lather as they were last Spring.Asking people to report back to Spawn Spot HQ, as this time it's the real deal and it will show the "Close Season" is needed.And what has happened it has got a little colder.And with no rain on the horizon, with the rivers down south looking dire,how many of you so called "Barbel Anglers" will leave it a while?And a three year plan to study,study what guys? Spawning data? Come on we are all better than that.They can and will spawn as and when,they have been about long before us so let 'em be.Well not us as man kind,but long before some of the "Saps" who just target Barbel.

Will the Barbel Spawn in time?Will those who preach to "Us" about the close not sally fourth on the sixteenth?The whole pious attitude to me stinks to high heaven.But hey I'm just a grumpy git.I must add though I wish the Barbel Show all the best in June.I adore the fact that Jon Berry is doing his stint.Nowt like getting way from the "Floppy Hatter" guise is there chaps.We must move forward from the "Floppy Hatter Image",but when your in a hole lads, who you gonna call....?"Cane Busters".

I'll throw in some photos from the past,just to keep it real....No weights as pounds and ounces always detract to some extent.

February Barbel above.

End of July Barbel above.

September Barbel above.

Little Common July.....

There we have it,all river fish.And let us wait in quiet contemplation and think before we cast a line for certain species.When so many are so stringent on certain dates.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part XI

2011-05-10T17:09:00.006+01:00

Time for another one of these I feel........What are the chances of seeing these two fine fellows out on the bank-side at any one time?Not an awful lot I must profess.

Here with have Adolf Hitler(Boo Hiss,Boo Hiss) all round mad man and let's be honest not particularly right in the head.I know,I know glass houses and stones and all that but hey we are not all perfect.

And below we have all round good angler and total fish chaser Mr.Kevin Colsten-Iles.He is not seen much these days as he likes to keep a low profile,since he was given various river walks and gleaned huge reams of info.He was around on the Medway way back in the day when it was throwing up some very big fish.His nickname among some is the "Vegan Freak",though to me it's a little bit more near the mark.

He did though write years ago for the Barbel Society,in it's first issue of Barbel Fisher no less.But he now prefers to walk his dog and jack boot across Sussex.And while we are on the subject of the Barbel Society,well nearly.The ABF have now acquired there third water and in such a short space of time,doffs cap and shouts three cheers.

They have a stretch of the Tidal Trent(Well done Hobby) directly below the BS beat at Sutton.Now do not choke on your evening G&Ts,how about in the fourth coming season both groups hold a charity fish-in?A team event if you will,one ABF angler pegged next to a BS member?To raise some money for a good cause and show some angling unity for a change and show we are all grown ups?It is up to you chaps.

Be Lucky

Monty D

El Matador

2011-05-08T16:06:00.012+01:00

This is totally non fishing,so please look away now If you are offended by such things?I'm not one for RIPs for people we do not know.Be they sporting greats or other people I'll never know.But this man in my eyes is a legend.The radio reported late on Friday night that he was ailing and his family were around his bed.I thought as ever that the "El Matador" will be fine,his strong he will come back.

Alas not,the golf and sport world has lost a real legend.Even If you do not play golf or "hack round" as many of us do.Most people have heard of Severinao Ballesteros,he came from a very humble background in Predena northern Spain.Practised hitting pebbles with a golf club,so the story says.And went onto become one of the most iconic and much loved golfers of our times.The feisty anger,the dark hair tussled in the breeze.Slazenger jumper,white shoes that shone out like his smile.Peter Allis so succinctly put it yesterday....."When Seve smiled,so did the world".

Today golf is all about percentages,but for those of us who play in our regular four ball.We all want to be Seve at some time.Play the shot that we should never think of undertaking.I've only managed that once,holed out of a bunker to save par.I sit here now typing and remember the other three lads in the four ball saying....."Seve,Seve,Seve".But the real Seve changed the game so much,he was,well just in a league of his own.He went for it,sure he hit some bad shots of the Tee.But he always came back with aplomb.And then some.So to you Severiano,I'll raise a glass and say Ole.......

Top smile the man had.

And a passion so much lacking in today's game,when a player just doffs his cap to the crowd.

Be Lucky

Monty D

The End Is Nigh

2011-05-05T17:30:00.005+01:00

I'll be at Upton Park on Saturday after a few hours in work,to see If we can get the first of the three possible wins we need to retain our premiership status.I've been saying mostly all season we are a poor side and we will go down.And now this lady is getting ready to belt out her famous tune.

Who's fault is it really?The players or the manager,well I think both to be honest.We have an immense wage bill,far to high for a medium size club like ours.And the players know when,and it is when, we go down they will be off loaded,so they do not really need to worry about where they will end up next season.Upson wants to go to a top six club,son your not really the player you think you are in your own mind.The only player who has really tried this season is Scott Parker and I hope he ends up at the Arsenal if he goes,but reckon it will be S***s.But the Olympic Stadium pops it's head up again.West Ham have privately admitted that If we are still in the Championship in 2013,that a move will be hard.So every cloud and all that.................A new bagel shop in E15 may have planning permission.While we are on the subject of S***s,they were moaning about the anti Semitic songs,sang by Chelsea last weekend.But it was OK to have 30,000 odd fans telling Wenger he was a paedophile the week before,double standards me thinks.

Now to Avram,we always knew he could get the best out of players.Here he is telling Torres"You are still a great player son,prove them all wrong".

Only problem was he scored against us!I was at this game on St.Georges Day and the ground was full of Yanks and other tourists taking photo's.Not the old Chelsea away days I remember from my more formative years.Still next season may be an eye opener If the likes of Swansea,Cardiff,Millwall.Leeds and us all play each other.I was told though by a mate who has a season ticket at Millwall(Barrister no less, must come in handy),that Swansea are a decent side.So we shall see.

Lastly the ABF are considering various images for a logo.May I be so bold and offer up this.You know it makes sense guys.

If your out on the bank this weekend or at football or doing what ever you do,enjoy yourselves.

Be Lucky(Or for Bob Lucy)

Monty D

Tinca Royale

2011-04-29T16:15:00.011+01:00

Anyone stay home and watch the Royal Wedding?Now I'm fairly pro Royal to be honest but I'm not one for sitting at home to watch the event.Less so to join the thousands in London today.I've had my journey into work disrupted all week thank you,by coppers who assume I'm a covert shoe bomber.So Gruff and I decided It was time to get out on the bank as we had not wet a line since the end of the river season.

A nice lake in deepest Surrey was the venue,normally very quiet.It's not a lake where you catch large numbers of fish.But it holds some lovely Carp and Tench and is very pretty and peaceful.You are allowed on the fishery at 06.30 so we arrived just before then to find the car park was bursting.That sinking feeling hit me as their were barrows galore being loaded up with big pit reels,long range rods and bucket upon bucket of bait.

I wanted to fish around this area of the lake as it's deeper here and thought the Tench would still be in the deeper water.

But it was already very busy with guys spodding,marker floats being set up.Bivvies going up and mallets hammering all kinds of shiny steel in the ground.Why all the gear for a day session?The lake has a very small and exclusive night syndicate who are good anglers,or so they say :-) I have never seen it this busy in the last four years or so.

Anyway we headed up to the shallower end of the lake that is also more narrow.As you can see in the photo below.I was tucked away happily fishing the lift method,with corn on the hook over corn and small pellets.When three guys turned up,set up in a line,shouted and joked and mad an awful racket.Then baited up as If they were fishing Wraysbury, heavy leads being cast in and out every twenty minutes or so.I did suggest in a polite manner that perhaps If they were a little more discreet,it would be beneficial to everyone?I may have well asked them about Pythagoras theory for all the good it did.

Come noon that was it for me,time to pack up.I did miss one good bite just after 09.00 but my heart was not really in it.I do love the place,the owner is a gent he really is.But when it's busy as a busy thing it puts me off.But that is a day ticket fishery I guess?Still I'll give it another go in a few weeks,but I'll be working this weekend and the next.So maybe Cup Final Day?Man Citeh-Stoke,no thank you.

Anyway Gruff got his new Cane rod in the week,made by a gent in Hull who goes by the name of Paul Johnson.He unwrapped the rod at home in the company of Mrs Gruff,who remarked that it was nice.He even put his new King Pin on it.Mrs Gruff had by now seen enough and went into the kitchen to get the dinner,tea,supper on.Gruff is now thinking shit........I wonder If it's because it cost a bob or two that she seems so curt.He glides into the kitchen and gets a frosty stare,so turns tail and runs.He now is thinking what have I done?

Mrs Gruff comes out with the dinner some time later and slams the plates down and utters these now immortal words......"Yes I like the sodding rod,but what about my new hair cut?".Cue Gruff going into over time with sweet words.Peace swiftly restored,he then goes back to cooing over his rod.Nice rod though mate and PJ your work is good mate ;-0.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Monty D

Dave Steuart Book Launch

2011-04-16T16:06:00.010+01:00

Well I've had a great few hours today,rubbing shoulders with the crème de la crème of the angling world.Now the book launch was due to start at around noon,but we set off from Chez Monty just after 10.00 am.And we arrived with an hour to spare so I showed my driver "Jeeves" a little bit of the river Loddon.He was impressed and I think he wants to get a club ticket next year.And I may do also,because I miss casting a line on this river.Sure it may not be the river it was a few years back.But undoubtedly the river is one of my favourites and knocks the Kennet into a cocked hat for beauty in my eyes.It's a river to be honest I adore and I fancy going back.

The Lands End Pub was buzzing by noon and so many well known anglers were chatting away and sharing tales.Some greats of the Roach world along with Dave Steuart,Dave Howes,Vic Beyer,John Searl(Good East End Boy),Ron Smith and Mark Wintle who also has a book launch here to.Then we had Chris Ball and Bob Buteux,Mike Wilson(Nice to see you again Mike).Phil Smith was down after a couple of nights Cat fishing at Orchard Lakes. I'm sure you get the gist ?

I had a chat with Pete Reading about this and that.Chewed the fat with Dave Burr and his lovely wife Nicky,who confided in me that she wants to move to Spain ;-0.And I had a few pints and just enjoyed myself.One guy who I've not seen for a few years who goes by the name of "Stroller" on various forums asked If it was I that wrote this blog ?When I said yes he replied"God and I thought you were thick".Thanks mate nice touch that:-(.But he did say that him and others enjoy my ramblings so that is the main thing.Sorry you could not make it Mr.Pope,but Pete has the book for Rich and will pass it over in May.

I also picked up another copy of Dave's book and already it's being sold on e-bay for nearly a hundred pounds, good job I bought mine for a mate and not to sell.Six months time it will be two hundred plus.Oh and Mr.Mumby, that shirt you had on, should only really to be worn in the company of Yessling.But you do produce some cracking books mate and they sell for a fortune these days.

Some photo's from inside the Lands End.

Here am I getting my book signed by the main man,blame the camera man for the iffy photo.

The conversation went like this.........

"Can you sign it to Jason please Dave"

"Your a cockney,shall I sign it like you speak ?"

"Na it's all right"

"You do know If I sign it to you, it devalues"

"I'm not selling it Dave,it's good"

"Where do you live,can I come to your house for dinner"

The man is an absolute gem and nice to see so many turn out today for this event.

Lastly a mate of mine is at the Barbel Catches Club AGM today,our mate Yeslling Ying.He has sent me a photo of the start of the day.Do you know they weigh and measure every Barbel caught ?Odd lot that,odd lot.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part X

2011-04-15T19:44:00.007+01:00

Time for another one of these.What are the chances of seeing either of these two fine,fine chaps on the bank at any one time ?Not a lot I reckon just look at the profiles....

Here we have Steve Pope and what an hooter the man has,talk about a proper nose.Blessed are the cheese makers.

And here we have Barry Manilow.Notice the likeness ?

Imagine If you will.......The Barbel Society Show,the nights end.Rich sweeping up the detritus and Steve picks up the mike.....You must sing along like Barry M..............

"Her name was Lola,she was a Barbel"

"She had whiskers that were fair,she was caught on casters with a hair"

"She made me famous in my own mind..........."

Then Fred picks up the mike and in a deep voice,looks longingly into Steve's eyes and sings......"They fell in love".

See you at the Lands End on Saturday Steve,I'll buy both you and Fred a pint ;-0.

Quickly and very quickly,well done to the ABF they now have their first water.Not bad really after such a short time.And more to follow in the next couple of weeks I'm led to understand.Keep it up lads.

Be Lucky

Monty D

For My Spurs Readers

2011-04-13T19:09:00.002+01:00

Have faith boys and believe in miracles,thought about this little video on the way home from work.S***s have a large Yiddish following so I thought this little video is worth putting up ?One of my favourite films of all time.And those who know me, are aware of my old man's side of the family being of good Yiddish stock.

With a surname like mine,well there are not many in the UK and most are Kosher butchers and other Yiddish trades.So enjoy the game and I hope you put up a jolly good show.Happy now Ousie ?

I'll have some angling stuff to blog at long last, after the weekend and I am really looking forward to the Dave Stueart book launch on Saturday.I've read mine and will review it at a later date as a chap over on Fishing Magic has done a far more lucid job than I could do.

*Discalimer I'll never wish anything good on S***s again*

Be Lucky

Monty D

Place Your Bets

2011-04-09T15:29:00.017+01:00

Been hard at work today,but I hope you have all picked out a horse for the National ?Is it the greatest horse race in the world ?Well If like me you are a sucker for a story, then maybe you cannot help to be transfixed by the event.You do not have to place large stakes and most who like a punt on a regular basis,treat the race really as a "Bookies Benefit".

I've said way back on here I've always liked a bet,growing up we had dogs that raced at the now sadly gone Hackney Wick.Also the famous "Stow" that is no longer with us.I guess as the years move on,the public want a more cultural experience for a night out as opposed to shouting "Go on the three dog",or doing a 3-5-6 combination through the card.

I'll always remember the characters I was introduced over the years,real salt of the earth people both men and women on a night out at the "Dogs".It makes me smile just thinking about it now,cockneys who If truth be told could pull more strokes than a swimmer.But who were always good as gold to me as a kid.As you grow older I think it's important to look back and think on things like this.Never forget where your from is my mantra.I'm sure you lads who visit the "Flapping Tracks" up North feel the same way.

Who has not seen this film ?If you have never shed a tear over this and you know the story you are a hard man.I was 11 when Bob and Aldaniti won the race,and remember my late, great nan,Rose sobbing and asking for another glass of bells,just to calm her down she said.I know I was brought up by a family of gamblers and piss 'eads.Would not a change a thing though ;-).

I've had a "Cock an Hen" each way on Ballabriggs,at 14/1 just for some interest.Not a tip or anything like that.Just a fancy I've also done Bluesea Cracker.

More so than ever If you have had a punt.

BE LUCKY.

Monty D

Gentleman I Salute You

2011-04-06T16:51:00.009+01:00

Top men one and all, to who those who were kind enough to sponsor me.As you can see the final total was £175.00 of the Queens finest,up from the original £118.00 pounds that I worked on.So once again I doff my cap.

For those who have not seen it ?Here is the link from what was shown on Sky TV.You can see me earlier on and Gruff recasting at 1.58 ish,after the lost fish I mentioned way back in February,while the cameras were rolling.

http://www.skysports.com/video/inline/0,26691,13019_6808399,00.html

I've been asked why the "Adult Content"banner no longer shows on this blog by a few people.When the clocks went forward a few weeks back,and awful lot of blogs that have an adult content banner were moved or deleted.And to be honest I do not think this blog is really adult content,give or take the odd expletive.But thank you all for your concern.

Now to last night...........I was gutted S***s lost four nil,no honest I was.Two nil would have been better, as it would have given that lot a little hope for next week.Now I guess it's like the "Wailing Wall" at Bruce Grove ?Here is my best mate Harry "The Bung" telling it how it is.

And this lad must be well impressed as he has recently signed a new contract,but we all know that football contracts account for very little.Good player though when he feels like it ?

I doubt I will get out on the bank before June the 15Th to be honest,as work is totally manic.It may be the case it will be after the "Off" and that will be a first.But at times the real world has a nasty knack of creeping up on you.Only temporary mind,but these things are sent to try us.So do not expect to much on here,though I've Lot's saved about various people.When will certain people learn eh ?You know who you are.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Gone But Not Forgotten

2011-03-30T17:42:00.004+01:00

Well that lasted a long while did it not ?To be honest the so called adult content did not offend me in the least.But to "Pull it off" after one magazine,at least people are aware when it is time to cut and run.

Are angling magazines passed there or is that their ?(Can someone please let me know as I always get this wrong) sell by date.The internet has a plethora of good angling articles and monthly periodicals seem to regurgitate the same authors and the same 'ol same 'ol.Before anyone jumps in with any snide comments.I think it must be hard to write in a new and vibrant manner for an angling magazine these days.But hey what do I know I'm only an average angler.

So Fish and Tips,we thank you for giving the bloging chattering classes,something else to moan about.

Lastly I'm hopeful to have the "Stoney" receipt in the next day or two,as some chaps reckon I gambled it all away.I may be a bit of a stroke puller(Fish and Tips again),but would never squander a charity's money.Good lord no!

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part X

2011-03-23T17:49:00.011Z

Time for another one of these I feel.What are the chances of seeing these two fine fellows on the bank side at any one time? Not an awful lot in my opinion.

Here we have Alan "Cookie" Cook all round good egg who really knows his stuff and catches his fair share of fish.Though I suppose he is best known for his alter ego "Anne," who trod the boards of the old Fatwa World and the Pike and Predator forum.If you had seen all the PM's the lad was sent from desperate male anglers, wanting a day on the bank with "Anne" you would have been astounded.Or maybe not?"Anne" got a throb in many anglers rods a little like a new magazine that has recently hit the shelves.

And here we have the "Milky Bar Kid",currently on the Bfamwy home page.Now Bfamwy was set up a few years ago by some lads who were banned from Fatwa World.They get an awful lot of stick in some quarters.But the lads though piss takers catch some great fish. In fact the last week of the river season,two posters both had Barbel over 17lb and Chub to I think 6.11(on the float no less).This particular website is not for the faint hearted though.Actually only one of the 17's count as the 17.4 was caught while the angler was after Chub.And it was in this weeks Angling Times, anything for some free bait eh Stew :-)

The river season has been closed a little over a week now and our friends at Fatwa,are at it already.Threats of violence over accusations of photo shopped fish.The site owner said that he has a keen eye and no photo has appeared on the home page that has been photo shopped,but those who visit here know different.Bless him.

Posters are falling out over a possible new competition called "Barbel Champs".I'll not criticise this at present as the full format has not yet been made public.I think some posters have jumped in to quick before the full story is known.Shame on you.

And another thread that had descended into cheap jibes is....."Are Barbel the new Carp".God knows what will happen by this time next week?But I love and adore the website for all the wrong reasons as do many others.Keep it up chaps you really are a credit to yourselves.

Lastly this blog is a year old today,so I'm wishing you readers a happy first birthday in my own way.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Dear Montgomery

2011-03-18T18:40:00.008Z

I received a wonderful letter today from our Prime Minister,Mr David"call me Dave" Cameron.I have been quite bold I think?In letting this out into the public eye.

Dear Montgomery,

I have been reading your blog for some time now and I marvel at the way you seem to separate the wheat from the chaff.The way you are so succinct and damn right to the point in so many matters.You seem to have your own mind and do not curry favour as so many do!Good god man If you were to serve under me,not literately I hasten to add.We would achieve great things you and I.

I'm about to commit more of our troops to another over seas conflict in Libya,and oust the despot.I have recently seen your photograph and thought I may step up to the plate.With your skills in tact and diplomacy I'm sure I can nip this is in the bud.Here is my outfit for the warm desert sands.What do you think ?A fair likeness our cabinet feel ?

Yours with love In my eyes and my utmost admiration.Davey Poos.

Enjoy your weekend gent's and lady's.

Monty D

Adieu For Now.........

2011-03-14T15:46:00.008Z

Well how was it for you ?Steady boys I'm not on offer just yet for some post season coitus!(Thought I would use an exclamation mark as they seem to be all the rage with some people).My season was pretty good up until around October,then it has been a real struggle.

I fished today for Perch from around 07.00 until 13.00 and we had a bastard of a frost last night.That was not forecast at all,still I was going fishing and that was that.Not a lot to mention to be honest on the fish front so I took a couple of photos.

I was laying on under this near bank tree.

And had this after a few hours, that at first felt like it would be my first ever 4lb plus Perch,but it morphed into this.Hooked firmly in the scissors.

I packed up at 13.00 as I'm of to Cheltenham for the next two days,so need to sort myself out though "Guido" the Scotties told me when it was time.I can't be the only person who has rods that talk ?Or is it my love of all things narcotic ?

That will be mostly it on the angling front until mid to late April as I enjoy a break.Plus like most of us the garden needs doing and the clubs are calling.I really enjoy my golf to but do not play as much as I should.

To all those who take me WAY to seriously,I'll doubt I will change to be honest.If you can't laugh at yourself then do not look in here.Pointless getting cross,life is a chore at times for us all.Those who know what my family are going through health wise, for these last 10 months are surprised I've still got a smile on my face.But shit happens and you can't change what is to be.Just get on with it and laugh,it cures everything.....almost.

I'm sending a cheque off to Stoney on Thursday for £150.00,up from the £118.00 that I originally thought.Though I'm still three pledges short,but will cover those until the cheques arrive.Gent's you have all been very generous ;-0

This is Monty Dalrymple signing off from Yat Rock for now.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Saint Peter

2011-03-13T20:42:00.006Z

A man stood at the golden gate

His head was bent and low

He meekly asked the man of fate

Which way he had to go ?

"What have you done"Saint Peter said

"To seek admission here" ?

"I have been a West Ham fan"

"For many a many year"

Saint Peter opened wide the gate

And rang the scared bell

"Step inside and choose your harp"

"You've had your share of hell"

Good day,great support as ever but not the result we wanted.Showed the lads in the mini bus this blog on the I phone on route.None fish but pissed themselves over the comments,they all thought angling was relaxing.See some of you at S***s away next Saturday.

Oh and Saint Peter any chance of a nice Perch tomorrow please ?Or at least a few winners at Cheltenham,I think you owe me ;-0

Be Lucky

Monty D

Our Friends In The North

2011-03-11T20:45:00.014Z

Well as I mentioned earlier Mike Berridge AKA Biggun was fishing with Gruff and I today,on a syndicate that Gruff and I belong to.I've not seen the man for a few years now though we do keep in touch regularly.And as we met up,it was man hugs all round as I know Biggun hates this kind of thing with a passion, being a rough chap from 'Ull.His first words more or less were "Get off you soft southern bastard" and Gruff just looked on perplexed as he does not mind my tactile ways.But then again he has been down south for years now.

The fishing,well it was hard today and with plenty of people out bites were at a premium.Mike had the one while I sat with him and chatted,we did a lot of that today as it was a social for me as opposed to I must catch,I must catch.But it came to nowt(it's rubbing off you see that );-0.Gruff had the one dropped take on his dead baits for Pike.I will not see Gruff now until we start our Tench fishing in mid to late April so thanks for a great season It's been laughs all the way,as it should be and perhaps one day I will take my angling more seriously and catch more.But in truth I'm happy as I am thank you very much.

I did though have more of these bloody things........God knows how many of the bait robbing sods I've had this season ?

And this fine,fine specimen here, the first for a good few years that sent the cane into an alarming battle curve.

But I did not mind we caught sod all really, it was just really good to catch up again Biggun and I'll see you in the summer,if not before.Now I've given out an awful lot of stick with various Doppelgängers and other stuff but it's all in good jest.So Biggun took this today of me so do your best If you want to,I don't mind ;-)

Now as we are on about our friends in the North I'll tell you about this......Last Wednesday I was in a branch like this in Mayfair where I work.

And I was ordering some lunch to be delivered to our office later in the day.When I over heard a conversation by two lads like this.

NM 1 "Why the fook can't they have any English food like pies,pasties and the like"

NM2 "Yeah or chips and sausage rolls not all this foreign shite"

NM1 "Fooking right or Pizza"

NM2 "God yeah I would love a Pizza now"

MD "Lads I think you'll find Pizza is foreign"

Cue a total blank expression on both of them.The mind boggles as what life oop Narf is really like for those poor folk ?Jokes aside I seem to get on better with the lads from oop Narf that I know,as they seem to bullshit less than people down here.Or perhaps I'm wrong

If you are out as many of you are this weekend behave,I've been told today about a Southern river that has "Barbel Trotting Fever" at present.In the week two GROWN MEN had a full blown punch up on the bank and the police were called to intervene.No this is not a wind up,it's from a source from someone who lives very near the river.Barbel fishing eh it just gets better and better ?

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part VIIII

2011-03-10T21:24:00.007Z

Well it's time for another one of these...............................

What are the chances of seeing these two fine upstanding fellows on the bank at any one time?Not much I reckon.Below we have the famous chap from the "Hamlet" adverts from days or yore.

And here we have Mr.Frampton the all round good egg who serves on the current BS committee.Though Will Golightly seems to be very quiet of late ?Any reason for this ?If anyone knows the tale let me know,at Yat Rock ;-0.As Will was always very prolific,shame as he was a sterling guy who posted a lot of sense.But he seems to have vanished like smoke up a chimney.

Well we are nearly out of time for this season, for those anglers who love to be out on the river.I'll be out tomorrow with old man Biggun and again on Monday.In between I'll be at Stoke on Sunday for our FA Cup game,some of us actually attend matches rather than "support"our team from home.Then early next week after the last day I will be spending two days at "The Festival".If you do not know about "The Festival" I'll come back to that next week.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Books And A Shameless Plug

2011-03-03T16:36:00.015Z

The good old postman arrived at work today with my copy of "From Minnows to Marlin" the newly published autobiography by Mr.Dave Steuart.Obviously I have not read it yet, but I did have a quick flick through and the quality of the binding and pages are first class.You also get seven postcards of various items of tackle,with an explanation of the flip side of there use.And some photo's of Dave and his late wife Kay,who was a very accomplished angler in her own right.

I'll try and save this book to read until the old close season,but I reckon I'll have it on the train while commuting into work in the morning.It is designed and produced by Martin Mumby(You do a good job for a Yowie Martin) ;-0.Of Wye Angling Publications who also produced "The Fishing Diary's of Eddie Price". Another good book that is selling for nearly two hundred pounds at times on E-bay,and I've also been told that a copy of "Chevin" was sold for one hundred and seventy five pounds on Monday night.These books always sell out fast so If you like to read as many of us do,get in quick or you may regret it ?It seems us anglers are very lucky at present as there are more and more publishing company's coming to the fore.

NOW FOR A SHAMELESS PLUG....................

A mate of mine has this book coming out around May and it's looking very good.It's a book Jon told me in the week that he has always wanted to write.More information about this and other fourth coming books that are out later this year can be found on the link below.

http://jon-berry.net/index.html

I'm not sure where you find the time though mate with the job you have?Now that supreme bit of arse kissing is out of the way.Lunch on the sixteenth of April at the The Lands End is on you I assume ?No need to pay for all of us,just me ;-0.

Moving on.....................................

A lad on Fatwa is asking about using a camouflage hide, while Barbel fishing on a small river and plenty of people are offering tips and advice.I know though the lad in question is on a wind up.And it's not even the close season as of yet.Already though the Otter threads are getting into full swing.It promises to be a fun time in the next three months I bet ! I may offer up a small prize for how many "What" threads in each month,I'll think on.

I did though spot this on the Fatwa homepage........BFW recommends a camouflage smock.If I were to market this I would try and blend it in with the surrounding flora and fauna and not sticking out like a proud cock on a platform.Or perhaps it is just me?

No angling for me this weekend as I've got a family "do" to attend to on Saturday.I did try and sweet talk my Mother and suggest that it was the penultimate weekend of the river season.But was told a very firm NO!Mum knows best as I'm sure we all know.So I'll not be out until Friday week,with old man Biggun.

If you are out I wish you tight lines and wrap up warm.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Stoney Love In

2011-02-27T06:59:00.029Z

Friday night and we had seen a deluge down in the South so Gruff and I expected the Old Lake at Bury Hill to be fairly coloured,so we were hopeful for a Zander or two.Gruff picked me up at around 06.30 and we pulled into the car park around thirty minutes later.The lads were all ready about in large numbers and I think in the region of sixty anglers had turned up to support the day.

Every angler registered with the Stoney team and we all got a "Goodie Bag", containing long nose forceps,two free ready tied traces,some bait products and best of all a free pen from NatWest Bank.Then you just went and fished where you wanted.Gruff and I moved down the long bank and fished pegs 44 and 45 respectively.My day started badly as I broke the drop off arm on my buzzy thing(keep it schtum that I own such a thing,the GSC will go mad),so I had to improvise by making a light weight bobbin.You will see that later.

I cast the lead rod around thirty yards out with a Sprat head and a float rod about 15 yards out with a whole Sprat to drift about.And within 15 minutes I had a Jack of about four or five pounds on the bank on the float rod.I'm sorry about this dreadful photo as Gruff took the snap with my good self being totally unaware and then sends it to me in a zip file.That I can't unzip hence the piddly small photo.

And this was the only fish I caught,not a huge amount came out on the day I'm led to believe.A young lad fishing four pegs up from me with his farther had a Zander of 11.14 and a few more came out over the fishery.The young lad I'm led to understand will be on Sky next Friday on the Tight Lines angling show.More of Sky later............

As it was a social day and I caught early I was fairly relaxed about all things.But I've never been on a fishery where I've had or witnessed so many dropped runs.I had three and dropped a fish after a few seconds,as did Gruff.In fact it was happening all over the fishery and my thoughts on this are..........The barbless hook rule and the size of the hooks you can use,you just do not in my eyes get a proper hook up with such small hooks.But dems de rules,so you must abide by this.And David De Vere the owner has already given his go ahead for a repeat of the day next year.

Just a couple of photo's.

This is around two o'clock just as it stared to rain again.

And it got worse and worse over the next few hours.Notice the hastily modified bite indicator on the lead rod.

Highlights of the day ?Some really nice guys on the bank to chat to,the lovely EA man checking rod licences.Seldom seen on a river though,to hard that is it not ?And Sky TV and Gruff.The Sky guys were walking around the lake hoping to get some action of fish actually being caught.The two guys were chatting to me,when Gruff had a belting run and he came flying out from under his brolly.He was in and the cameras were rolling(this is all true I promise),he though was unaware of this.When the hook pulled yet again,he turned around with his face red with rage and uttered these now immortal words"Fucking,poxy,C*****ng barbless 'ooks".The camera then stopped rolling and I was in bits.I could not breath for laughing and to be fair the Sky guys were laughing to.

All in all a good event.Would I fish here for predators again ?Only on the Stoney do as It's not really natural enough for me.Wooden platforms and the hook rule put me off to be honest.I would now like to offer a few thank you's

All you guys who were kind enough to sponsor me.I make it I raised £118.00 with your help and I will get a cheque off to Stoney when I have the money in.He will issue me a receipt that I will put up on here to show I've not pissed it up the wall.To the organisers of the day thank you very much guys a well run event.Also the Walton branch of the PAC,who were on hand all day to offer advice and help to any inexperienced anglers,can't have been easy walking about in the pissing rain all day.And obviously Stoney himself he should get a knight hood for all the good he does ;-0.

Looking froward to next years event all ready.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Edit Payments

Yessling Ying Received

Popsy Received

Mr.Fog Received

TP West Ham Received

Jon Berry Recieved

Tom H Received

Howise Received(Thanks for confusing the postman) ;-0

Bard of BridgEnorth Received

Rob Hilton Received

Mike Oz Received (Thank you for the nice letter and on headed paper) ;-0

Tony Rocca Received

Gruff Received

Graham Elliott Received

Biggun Received.

JAA Revived

Le Otterman Received

Mike Joyce Received

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part VIII

2011-02-23T16:36:00.011Z

Time for another one of these I feel.What are the chances of ever seeing these fine two fellows on the river bank at the same time ?Very little I am afraid as one lives in a distance cosmos and the other lives in BridgEnorth.

Below is that dastardly character from Doctor Who,all round constant warrior the Sonataran who will not give up his goal of total angling domination.

And below is the Black Country's pie eating champion the Bard of BridgEnorth.Constantly getting harried into taking lesser mortals out on his boat "YamYam".

Upton Park the other night was good,though Burnley are a decent football side and knocked the ball around well.The score line of 5-1 did not really reflect the game in my opinion.Stoke away in the Quarter-Final of the FA Cup next and we play Stoke the week before at home in the league.The Britannia Stadium is never an easy place to go and get a result but I'm hopeful of making the last four in this competition.It just depends on what West Ham side turn up on the day ?

I've got all my tackle ready for our day at Old Bury Hill on Saturday.Now for those who do not know ?OBH practice a single hook policy no larger than a size 4 and barbless to boot.I have used single hooks before but in a larger patten,though never in barbless.But with the barb crushed down.I've made a few traces up this week,with size 4 and size 6 hooks and to be honest they look tiny.You do get given free of charge two "rigs" on the day and can buy more If you want from the on site shop.I'm sure they are spot on as well,but I've always made my own and I would be gutted If one broke on me that I had not tied and tested myself.Easy to make now as well with the various wires on the market and crimping tools.Or do you twist ?Some of the prices for ready made rigs from the Greys Prowler Range are extortionate.Four quid for normal dead bait rig with two size 6 trebles.Pah!

Though I'm led to understand the fish at OBH get caught on small baits.It will be an experience I'm sure.I've not fished a lake for ages,since last April in fact.And never with so many other anglers present,but as I have said before it is for a worthy cause.So I'll just go with the flow and see what transpires on the day.The weather is looking not to bad so I am crossing my fingers and hoping for a fish or two.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Always Listen To Monty

2011-02-19T22:38:00.014Z

Well it looks like I've had as many offers of sponsorship for the OBH day next Saturday,as I'm going to get as most people are skint ? I'll add a little update of today's session.Though Kevin Colsten-Iles you will not get off lightly.But If anyone I know wants to add a few more pound then please let me know;-0.In truth I have not pressured or harried people for cash as that's just plain wrong,I do have a heart you know.

A later start than normal saw two of us head across country from Surrey to Royal Berkshire.Can it really be "Royal" when you have Slough in the county?Or worse still Bracknell ?Pray tell let me know as some stage.

We have had a fair amount of rain this last week and it is much needed after a Winter of low rain fall.We both aspired to a Barbel or two,as it will probably be my last Barbel trip of this season as I'm after a large Perch before the end of this river season.And Biggun is coming South the week after next,so I need to help him get a three pound plus Perch.Though I'm not sure how I'm going to do that, as I can't find the large Perch at all this season.The three pound plus fish are proving scarce when a few years back they were plentiful.

Anyway we pulled into one of the car parks and I suggested we did not park here as we would not get out again.That fell on deaf ears,so we parked up and went our separate ways on this particular beat.Myself upstream and my partner downstream.

Not a cold day,and quite pleasant out when the wind dropped.No Barbel today only four small Chub all around this size.I took a photo of this one as it done a good job of a Barbel bite,in that it took the rod right round.I thought my luck was in but alas not, I did christen the '55 though I'm aware it's had some use by it's previous owner.

Now the fun started.........We arrived back at the car and got changed and I unlocked the first of two car park gates.My mates very nice, expensive company car that was valeted and serviced on Wednesday was stuck fast.He of course put his foot down and mud was going everywhere,and the car was getting in a worse condition.So he had a brain wave,I push from the front while he puts the car into reverse.You know the outcome,me flat on my face and all I could do was laugh and that just got my mate a bit more wound up.After twenty minutes of us trying to put grass and unhooking mats under the wheels to try give it some traction,the game was up.

I had to phone this man............

The legend that is John Butler who looks after the anglers and shooting guys who frequent the estate.He was in the bath when I rang,but top man that he is was with us within twenty minutes.A few expletives where thrown our way but we were sorted within ten minutes and he dragged the car out,by his teeth no less.These country folk are tough as they come. He then bid us a safe journey home and do not do it again.Or words to that effect.

John I thank you mate,your good as gold :-)You see If my partner in crime had listened to me first thing.Then we would not have got stuck and John could have settled down in the bath with his copy of "What Tractor".

Be Lucky

Monty D

Stoney And Friends At Old Bury Hill

2011-02-14T16:55:00.024Z

As I mentioned on Friday,myself and Gruff shall be attending the "Stoney Predator Day" at Old Bury Hill on Saturday February the 26th.So would anyone I know on a personal basis care to sponsor me to try and raise a few more pounds for a good cause ?I'm just to lazy to phone,text or e-mail you all ;-)

I know that things are very tight for an awful lot of us these days,so I am not asking for the earth lads.Maybe a £1.00 per Pike or Zander and maybe a £5.00 donation for a double.I'll say now that I have never fished here for Predators before, only the odd day from a punt in the Spring for Tench and Bream.

And looking at met-checks long range forecast for the Dorking area,it looks like the weather will be bloody awful.And the way I am fishing at present I could go through the lake with a trawler vessel and still only pull in an old boot.If I blank,I will chuck an extra 30 quid in the collection box.Tickets were a score a pop,and I'll need at least five pounds worth of raffle tickets.

Here is a little information for you to pursue at your leisure.

http://www.stoneyandfriends.co.uk/

Now I must crack on a cook a wonderful,romantic dinner for Mrs.Monty.I do the majority of cooking at home as I arrive back at Chez Monty first.Plus I enjoy it, as it is a nice way to relax after a day at work.Glass of wine radio 4 and I'm sorted,very easily pleased that's me.

Roses,nope not a chance.I came out of the station after work and a dozen roses that will be dead in the morning were forty five quid.I do find the whole "Valentines" day thing a load of old bollocks.You should treat your better half with love an respect all year,not just go way over board for one day.But I have to make a little bit of effort,as Mrs.Monty is liable to go into full Jamaican "Yardie" mode.Kissing her teeth and god knows what else If I just slap down some beans on toast and squeeze her 'arris.Only joking babe ;-)

For those of you who are out having a romantic meal in a restaurant tonight,I've been there and done that.Not for many a year,as this is what you look like.........

I await a great out pouring of cash and pledges ;-)

Be Lucky

Monty D

Edit.......I'll keep the very kind offers up here for sanity's sake as it's easier to look at than scroll through the comments......

Mike Oz...A pound per Pike and five pound per double.
Rob Hilton....As Above
Popsy 4..........As Above
Mr.Fog...........As Above
Jon Berry........As Above
Graham Elliott..... Ten Pounds for a Pike
JAA...... Private offer
Yessling Ying.... Private offer
TP West Ham...... Twenty Pounds for a Pike
Tom H..................Ten Pounds for me blanking even ;-0
Tony Rocca..........Ten Pounds If I do not blank

The Otter.............Five Pounds all in

Bard of BridgEnorth........Five Pounds If I do not blank

Howsie.....................Five Pounds If I do not blank

Mike Joyce..............Five Pounds per Predator.

Gruff.........................Twenty Pounds for not blanking

Like A Trout At Duffers

2011-02-11T17:36:00.007Z

I had to bite did I not Bob ?But you would have been been bereft If I had just hunkered down under the far bank willow and let your dry flay that you cast so deftly,just drift on slowly by.But I have to bite as like you it is in my nature.

You did though make some salient points ;-)So here go................................

Ever seen these two guys out treading the bank at the same time ?I doubt that you will to be honest.Here with have Lembit Opik the chap who use to be a Liberal Democrat MP,who use to date if that is the right phrase one of the "Cheeky Girls".

And here we have self styled Doncaster demi-god and all round Northern Narcissus,Mr,for he is such a thing.Mr.Bob Roberts.

Olympic stadium is ours(West Ham).Do not bet your last bagel on it my boy.If we go down,please,please let that be the case.And we stay down we will not have the finances to run the stadium.It's a lease of 150 years and we will only have a crowd of around 15000 to 25000.That will not wash with the chaps who need the contract for the lease signing in 2013.So all is not lost.

Now a moan..................I stopped in a tackle shop near the Lawn Tennis Association on my way home.I bought a packet of 50 lob worms for some Perch angling over the weekend.I opened them up in the kitchen to transfer them into a bait box with moss and wet news paper and 14 out of the 50 are dead.Now firstly that is not good,but If I had left them over night in the original container would they have all been dead by the morning ?Not happy at all with this.

Bob I thank you my little "Choochie Face".Please note,no anti-Bob comments as he is coming to Upton Park with me next season.I want to see if he is man enough to eat a "Double-Double" and a bowl of stewed Eels.

Be Lucky

Monty D

PS you were right Rocca,would not last a week.

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

2011-02-07T19:49:00.007Z

Time for a break from this old "Blogging Caper" I think,yes I can continue to take the piss out of this and that.But I've never really felt comfortable talking about where I cast a line,or what I catch.And I've only really given half the story on what I have caught this season,the best writers will always hold something back ;-).But it's been fairly nice except on the Perch front(you and I both Bob).But to pop up on here with the full story just seems so odd,as I've been such a secret squirrel of sorts in the past.

I'll be back at some time next season,but angling means an awful lot more to me than the ramblings on here and I feel maybe I am leaving a trail for those fish chasing wankers, I despise so much ?It's not a snap decision as I have spoken to various people about this over the last month or so.Those who know me,are aware of my concerns as I can't have a blog that just takes the piss,or can I ?Of course I will still look about from Yat Rock,plus next season I'll be on a no publicity water for most of the summer,not for Carp though they only go into the low 20's and as we know that means nowt these days,for the "Munga Spod Brigade".But just for the general "float around a Lilly bed" angling.

So to all you Internet "know alls" you carry on, as you are wankers now and you will be when I come back as you can't change.To my mates you know where to find me(If I have any) ;-)

No need to post any comments,as they will not get published.So for now........

Be Lucky

Monty D

Lola The Pike Dog Her First Session

2011-02-05T15:26:00.024Z

Well what can you say ? As ever when Gruff and I plan a session together things go wrong,it is him and not I rest assured.I received a text to say "Running late,bit of a drama but on my way".Gruff arrived and I peered in the motor to see Princess Lola peeking back at me.Mrs Gruff had to be elsewhere so Lola, the Ridgeback puppy who is only seven months old was to come with us.Anyone who has ever owned a dog from a puppy knows that after around two hours on their own they get restless,she will calm down as she gets older.

But is she not a real stunner,really well mannered to and I wish she was mine ;-0.

As Lola was with us we had to do a detour to another river,as where we intended heading originally do not allow dogs.I suggested an area on the river where we could tuck our selves away from the howling wind and keep out of sight,as we should not really have Lola with us on this venue like the first choice for a days Pike fishing.But what Pike angler does not pull a stroke or two ?

First blood to me was a small Jack about two pounds,while Gruff was still tackling up and we picked an area where we could both fish next to each other,casting into a large bay that I thought would hold some good Pike.I though only had the one jack.

About 09.45 Gruff had a take and his float slid off across the river and at first she did not really pull back.Then decided it was time to wake up and tore off downstream at a rate of knots,tail walking and shaking her head in anger.

"Good fish that Gruff" I said,but when your into a good fish you hear very little and just concentrate and pray the fish does not come off.Slowly she came back upstream and I netted her first time.We gave her a rest in the net and got the mat and scales ready.And what a stunning river Pike that went bang on 19lbs and two quick photos were taken,I had the pleasure of slipping her back as the banks were still very slick and gruff at his age is somewhat unsteady on his feet.

She slowly swam away,then as mates do big man hugs all round.Cracking fish that big lad and it was a real pleasure to see such a fish on the bank.We were due to pack up around 12.30 as Lola needed her bed the poor little thing,when Gruff had another take and a small Jack of around 4lbs came to the net.I cracked on with the unhooking as Gruff was busting for a piss,and as I took the hooks out the little sod kicked and this was the outcome.

It would not stop bleeding,so I had to let it dry and I took this photo when I got home.The larger fish are no problem to unhook as you can straddle them and you can open the mouth wide enough to work in.Little Jacks at times can be most feisty,but I'm not a huge fan of gloves as you do not in my opinion feel enough and can damage the very delicate gill area of the Pike.Each to their own though,Pike scars don't you just love 'em ?

Be Lucky

Monty D

PS I hear Fox have a patent out on lucky dogs.

Six Nations

2011-02-04T18:35:00.010Z

No pub tonight folks as I want to have a clear head in the morning,for a days Pike fishing on the river. But I would like to be down the pub to watch the start of the Six Nations in Caaeerrdiff look you butt.Or better still in the land of the Cave Trolls ;-)

I love Rugby union and I'm going to blow my own trumpet now, I played the game to decent standard in the position of flanker very apt that, is it not,look you.Can you imagine being an England player tonight walking out into the cauldron of hate that is the Millennium Stadium.All the Welsh have had a week off, as to beat us is all they care about and they will have been on the piss since,ooh Monday lunch-time.

The Celtic nations hate the English with a passion.They say it is all to do with history?Do not make me laugh.It is because you all want to be English,but you did not by the grace of birth get lucky,look you see.OK I'll admit that the Welsh National anthem really does take some beating and I've been to the old Arms Park a few times over the years great days win or loose.But or is that butt you all need to move on from being so "Chippy".WE FUND YOUR LIFE STYLE!

Who will win tonight ?England by a small margin, though I hope we give them a real caning and send them back to the valleys in tears.And I confidently predict a Six Nations trophy,though not the slam as I think the Scot's may surprise us this year ?

By the way do not watch the video,if you are of a sensitive nature,look you see.

I'm really looking forward to the game and the Pike trip tomorrow.So if you are out,good luck butt,look you see,isn't it.

Be Lucky

Monty D

New Toy And A Confession

2011-02-02T16:33:00.015Z

Well I have been after one of these reels for a while now, as I owned one when I was around 16 years old but that was sold when I had a little sabbatical from angling for a few years, in my very early twenties.Now these have been going for daft prices on E-Bay for a while, with mint condition 55's at times making £150.00 and that is way to much for Monty to pay.

Plus I am not a fan of E-bay to be honest.I did phone a couple of people of late to enquire If they would be willing to sell me one,but they declined.Until I remembered my mate Pooh Bear,bought one a while ago from Shropshire Lad,no names no pact drill here.And fair play to Pooh as he sold it to me at mates rates, as he does not have any use for it.

I've given it a little clean up and some oil and it is all ready to go out on the bank. Thanks awfully old boy.

Now a confession.....I've always give it "Billy Big Bollocks" about not minding being somewhat challenged on the old baldness front.But various articles in the media seem to make us "Bald Boys" out to be some kind of pariah ? I decided to take action and have been looking for a real good "Syrup" for a while now,that's "Syrup a Fig" in the old rhyming slang that equates to wig.

Well I really hit the jackpot,the only time I have ever used E-Bay I won an auction.Yes this story in the press was totally true.

And I confess It was Monty that won the above.I now look like a real man again,so thank you Mr.Daniels for giving me my life back you are not just a wonderful magician but a kind man and I love it.

The pressure is dropping very quickly as I type and it does look very good for the weekend,apart from the winds of 30mph gusting up to 40mph.But I'll be out to try and end this horrendous run of catching very,very little.It was Candle-mass day yesterday and it was mild down here so I hope this winter is finally saying good bye ?

Pike or Perch what is it to be.Pike I reckon as I've not fished for them for a while and fancy watching that big float slide away,hopefully.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Soon Be Spring ?

2011-01-29T14:50:00.018Z

I had a short four hour Perch session today on a local river.I deliberated all week about fishing as I really fancied a weekend off at home with my feet up.Being busy at work and a couple of very late nights had worn me down a little.Chuck in the more or less incessant cold and I was all set to stay home and read a book.

Until I changed my mind last thing on the way home from work yesterday and dived into my local tackle shop and grabbed some rather mangy worms.Even when the alarm gave a shrill call first thing this morning,I had to force myself up and out of bed and into the shower.I get some right stick about having a shower prior going fishing,as some people just have a "cats lick" then go fishing.I though cannot wake up without a shower,nice not to shave on a Saturday though I can tell you.

Did I enjoy it ? No not really and it's the first time I've really dragged myself out of the door to go.Like most I love my fishing but I think the weather these last two months is maybe making me lethargic.I fished a couple of swims by trotting lobs worms close to the bottom and had one very and I mean very small Jack Pike.I was mostly on auto mode and I was glad to pack up at noon to be honest.A low grey and sullen sky,plus a biting North Easterly wind had done for me. The sun only came out briefly for around five minutes,so I grabbed this quick photo of the far bank cover that I was trotting past.I have kept it in black and white to go with my rather jaundiced view of the day.

Is a moral coming ? Yes like many have said in the past do not go if you really do not want to.It's a pleasure not a chore.And today was the latter and I was glad to get home.Although the "Gruff" is out again next week, after being on family duty's for the last few weekends so that will put a smile on my "Boat".

Where does the Spring come into all this.I got home and put my tackle away and went into the back garden to top up the bird feeders and change the water bowl.And I noticed the Croucus(God knows If that is the right spelling) have started to poke there heads up,so I'm hoping they know something I do not ?

Lastly as promised here Is a little video I made ;-)As ever a few profanity's and if this offends you then I offer no apologies.Just do not look in here please ;-)

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8301478/

Be Lucky

Monty D

Barbel Society Promotional Videos

2011-01-27T05:30:00.007Z

While in work early yesterday morning I took a phone call from the new Steven Spielberg of the angling world.And he asked If I had seen the new videos the Barbel Society were promoting in order to attract new members and move forward.

I had not, so he e-mailed me these two over, this one being the first. Please be aware they both contain the odd profanity,so if your upset by such things please do not click on the links.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8291908/

And this one being the second.

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8290615/

Just think of the fun that can be had with this lot over the coming weeks and months.You have to pay a small fee to get them "live" so to speak.But hell I can really go to town and some ideas are already germinating in my tiny pea size mind.

I got back from Birmingham last night at around 02.00 and I'm a little disappointed but that's football.If it was not for my fishing I'm sure I would have gone mad after following West Ham for the last 35 years or so.First ever game age 5,in 1975 with my old man still sticks in my mind.Thanks Dad,why did you turn left to Upton Park out of our estate, when as right turn would have taken us to Highbury ?Only joking you support who you do and I for one would not change that for anything.Going to be a long day at work today though.

Enjoy the videos I've a train to catch.

Be Lucky

Monty D

The Olympic Stadium Drama

2011-01-24T16:26:00.012Z

Blimey I never knew this ?Seb Coe was once a "Top Boy" in our firm.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/coe-admits-links-to-icf-201101243463

I've been talking to people about this for the last couple of weeks now.Not a soul I know wants us to move to the Olympic Stadium.And not one Spurs fan I know wants to move from White Hart Lane also.

It is the one time I want Spurs to beat us at anything.But I think we will win the bid,if winning is the right word.Now I'm not a fan of Harry Redknapp,but his article in The Sun last Friday was mostly spot on.Though the bit about West Ham fans not liking him now as he manages Spurs, is way off the mark.We don't like you as your a snide,bung taking,saggy chops,twitching wrong 'un.

But our wonderful Karen"Must Stop Eating" Brady, was as ever totally out of sync with her article today.We have 17,000 people on a season ticket waiting list ?Total an utter bollocks Karen as you and the other two planks know.All three of you have been totally graceless since you took charge of MY club.You lot have a "Business Model" of how things will go at the Olympic Stadium,bringing fans in for a day out.

Who in there right mind,wants to be at the best 45 meters from the pitch ?At the worst a potential 200 meters ?Who wants to spend the best part of the day being shown around the ground,have lunch,spend money in the shop and watch the game and then go home ?Not anyone I know!A corporate plastic jamboree is what you wankers want.When we go down you must expect around 25,000 average gates next season.If we are still down,when and If we move into the Olympic Stadium it will be a soulless bowl.

So good luck to the lot over in North London.

I will be at Brum on Wednesday for our second leg of the Carling Cup Semi-Final.Without a ticket to the game,we have sold our allocation of 6,000.But the police expect an additional 6,000 to travel without tickets.I'll try and get one off a tout,if not we will find a pub to watch it in.But with no fit strikers I feel it will go tits up.

Who cares,your West Ham right ?

Be Lucky

Monty D

Keith Bleeding Arthur

2011-01-22T15:14:00.009Z

I would just like to say a huge thank you to Mr.Arthur for jinxing my trip to the river today.Listening to Fisherman's Blues this morning,dear old "Keef" was talking about the Thames and it's tributary's.And how the mighty Thames was banging through but the smaller rivers should be in fine fettle for this weekend, now that they are fining down and some good sport should be had.

I just rolled my eyes and thought"You bleeding bock Arthur"Do not ever believe a word this old rouge says in future.It was very hard indeed.

Or is it just my usual session of gross ineptitude ?I started fishing in the dark around 07.00 with Lob worms and Bread Crust for bait,roaming about and staying in a swim no more than twenty minutes.It was bloody cold in the wind and also a few sharp showers chilled the hands,but as I was touch ledgering I had no choice but to tough it out,I know Stef,I know.

Dropping a bait in and out of various pools, eddy's,under cut banks and raft swims.I had my first very gentle bite at around 10.30 while bouncing a worm around a swim I call the "House Pool".But I failed to connect and after another ten minutes I moved back upstream and had a coffee.Even though the fishing was hard going I was really enjoying myself,all the anglers from last weekend had failed to show and I had miles of river to myself.Now you and I know how good it is to be an angler and I love to be on the river at this time of year,more so when all the lazy sods are at home in bed.

I tried a few more swims with no joy and had one more speculative cast around 11.30 and by now it was pissing down.Ten minutes later I had a savage bite and caught this little chap here,sure they do not count on anything other than a a bit of fluff,but it was the first Trout this old MKIV Avon had caught so I thought I take a quick snap as my mate Treebeard,much prefers to be fishing as opposed to just being hung from a hook on the wall ;-).

Apologies for the slight blur,as the camera was wet after being dropped on the floor while I tried to stop the little bugger flipping all over the place,before he went back.

Now as you can see I did not use an unhooking mat,and I feel really bad as already this lot have been making dire threats into the Yat Phone.

I do hope that I can avoid the BS when I'm next on the river,as I'm not really happy about a load of zealots chasing me down the bank throwing there plimsolls at me,while I flee with my creel and cane. I'm truly sorry guys and will use a mat for all species in future.I think it is now time for a beer.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VII

2011-01-20T16:50:00.010Z

Well January is absolutely flying by so I thought it was time I dropped in another one of these.What are the chances of seeing these two fine specimens of mankind out on the bank side ?Well no chance what so ever.

This here is that nutty Doctor Harold Shipman,I don't really need to go any further with this one do I.

And this chap here is Lancashire rod make for the great and good,Dave "Lumby" Lumb.Who can be found most days at some stage,offering his very special form of sardonic wit over on the PAC forum and Pike and Predator forum.Rumour is that he smiled for the first time in two years recently,when England retained The Ashes.He does though make some really nice rods.

Moving swiftly on as I'm really pressed for time,but this tune here is creating quite a stir. It's a song called You and Me,by a band called Penny and the Quarters.Now it sounds like a classic soul tune from the 1960's.But it's not, it's actually a rehearsal tape from the 1970's that turned up in an estate sale five years ago.Nobody knows who really recorded it,as Penny the and Quarters was the name on the box.But it has a starring role in the film Blue Valentine that I hope to take in at some stage over the weekend.I think this song is superb,sure it's not polished but the lead vocal is wonderful.

I'll be out on the river on Saturday for a short five hour morning session and will just fish Lob worms and Bread Crust,for what ever comes along.Travelling light and keeping my interest levels up,as opposed to fishing static in a deep slumber of nothingness.If you are out on the bank this weekend,I hope you enjoy yourselves.

Be Lucky

Monty D

The World And His Brother

2011-01-15T20:10:00.018Z

Busy old day on the river today on the angler front,but alas not so on the fish front.Now I was expecting this particular river to be carrying more water today with additional colour, after speaking to the fishery manager on Thursday.But it appears that the projected rain fall never really materialised.

I though packed for the projected rain fall,heavier leads and good old meat for bait.When I first saw the river today I thought,well you can imagine.Where had all the so called colour and extra water gone,that I had been told about ?I was fishing by 08.00 and had a small Barbel around 5lbs in weight around 09.30.A small Chub around 11.00 and a decent size "Brownie" of around a pound at noon.And I fished through until 17.45 and never had another bite.

I'll be honest I fished very poorly today. Because I thought I knew what to expect condition wise and I took far to much tackle,and was loathe to move swims to often.When I fish for the hallowed "Bronze Warrior" I much prefer to roam about,as I find just watching a rod tip really does my brain in after a while.And by roaming and moving swims it keeps me interested as opposed to sitting it out in a swim or two.If you do fish that way then fine,but how the lads do it on the larger rivers where they "Bivvie Up" for a couple of days is beyond me.So in essence I fished like a prick honestly I mean it,I should have dumped the gear and gone and found some more fish.Instead of thinking that I was going to cane the place and hoping they came to me.

I also spotted more anglers out today than I have seen all season.Now I know I piss and moan about liking my peace and quiet when on the bank side.But today it was just a mass of smiling people who were only to happy to be out again after the latest spell of rather inclement weather. And just for once I felt a warm glow in my little tummy,of how nice it was.It will not last though,if they appear next weekend I will revert to type!

Just a little snap of today,no need at all to photograph the fish I caught, as how many shots on an unhooking mat,can you take.

Now back to you know where for my weekly spit coffee all over the keyboard moment.I was in work on Friday morning and saw a thread on one of these.

If you really and I mean really need to ask about one of these on an angling forum,I fear for you when you get out on the bank.It can be a very dangerous place,with twigs,stinging nettles and other dastardly things that may harm us.Take care soldier the real world is not a happy place.

Lastly I hear three people I know and most of us know, are out on a "Jolly Up" on a syndicate water on the Trent on Sunday.If you see three old men,swapping tales of bed pans,heating allowance,sock darning you have met Messrs Biggun,Popsy and Oz.My advice would be to steer well clear if you see them,as they can turn a stock pond to ash with just the one cast.You have been warned.

I did mention I was going to discuss some serious angling "stuff" earlier on in the week,but I need a bloody beer.So it will have to wait.

Be Lucky

Monty D

One Foot On Wembley Way/Angling Gods

2011-01-12T17:23:00.015Z

Well have we (West Ham) got one foot on Wembley way ? After last night I will stick my kneck out and make a very,very tentative choice and say yes.It was a good afternoon in the pub and in the ground catching up with people like you do.Chew the fat,tell lies and try and look important,shit I was in an angling forum in another dimension,but full of Cockneys going "Fack,Fack,Mug,Cant"

Not a classic game but a very good Cup Tie and I hope those who watched it at home enjoyed it.The first half I thought we completely out played Birmingham and without the heroics of Ben Foster we could have been two or three goals up at the break.I would love to know what Uncle Fester said in his half time team talk to be honest.It must have been something like this,read it if you will in your best Yiddish."Right,you lot it's nearly the Sabbath and I want a pay off,Oi Vai,Oi Vai,so before you go out for the second half please leave your brains in the bin".Blimey it must have worked as we were proper pony in the second half.

Sure Birmingham were going to come at us,but we were very poor.So I'll settle for the 2-1 win,with ten men that we take to the Midlands in a couple of weeks time.As for Avram,now he is not hated down at the Boleyn Ground.And Gold,Sullivan and as my mate so succinctly put it last night "That fat slag and her poxy column in The Sun have not one iota of class.We would rather get relegated than have "Fergies Rent Boy" down at our gaff".As Martin O'neil appears to have to much sense to step in.

We the fans want the following........Julian Dicks as defensive coach.Paolo Di'Canio as midfield and striker coach.Martin "Mad Dog" Allen as our manger.Sure it would go tits up but think of the fun you could have.All three getting sent to the stands each week,while the "Chicken Run",run amok.Happy Days ;-)

Now I mentioned last week, that the Bard of BridgEnorth was going to Doncaster with the mighty Wolves as a guest of Bob Roberts.Who would have thought two angling egos of such size,could be in the same room as one another.Let alone on the same table.

The Bard phoned me,to let me know he had e-mailed me the photo to use on here and he said........Read in a thick Yam Yam accent if you will.

"Monty mon,fooking bostin were it,that Bob is a fooking ledgend and great company too"."No expense was spared,I had pie and chips,pie and gravy,pie and diet coke and yeah pie and cake"."He is not the tight arse Yorkshire man that many would have you believe,he even missed Tony Rocca".

"Here is the photo I promised yow".

I'd like to step in here and say I hope you reciprocate the "do" when you play Donnie next season.Nice one Bob ;-)Top right at the back looks a little,like a slimmer Matt Brown ?

That's all your getting until Sunday,my tackle needs to be sorted for a full day on the river on Saturday.And "Baby Bakes" goes back to University on Friday so we will be out for dinner tomorrow evening.But I'll try and come back on later in the week, with some actual serious angling stuff for a change as a couple of points have been spotted from Yat Rock.Oh and also a brace of Double figure Barbel that hopefully will come my way on Saturday.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2011-01-09T13:24:00.010Z

Well I did indeed end up at Upton Park yesterday after all,as we had to cancel Gruff coming around to do a little job for us as a certain young lady was poorly.When I phoned Gruff and told him not to bother coming around he sounded like a man who had won the Lottery. And with Mrs Monty playing at nurse I swanned of out the door.But not after I got my tackle ready for a few hours today.

We again were lucky,sure we should have been three goals up at half time.But you knew the second half was going to be a nervous affair.And so it proved and Barnsley had a cast iron penalty turned down.And hit the bar before we moved back up the pitch and scored, cue huge relief and we are into the draw for the next round.That is straight after the Man U-Liverpool game that kicks of in a minute.How can you do the fourth round draw when some third round games have not even taken place ? Back to Mondays on the radio please If you will.It does look like Uncle Fester,will be out of a job soon and the rumours are that Martin O'neil is wanted down at our gaff.

Anyway to the fishing,the last few days down here have been very mild and we have had plenty of rain so I expected to be in with a chance of my first Barbel of this year.That was until I woke up today around 05.00 and was met with a heavy frost.What's a man to do ? Swap your tackle for Pike gear,or just go and give it a whirl.As I've seldom done well at all for Pike on a cold and coloured river,it would be Barbel or bust.

That's what I did,I had four hours on the river fishing paste baits in various swims for not a sniff.The river was still up nicely and pushing through and a nice colour also.But it looked cold and uninviting.But I made a new friend and god do I need some,this little chap offered me advice on where to cast and how to bait up in return for some breakfast.In the end he was so cross with my poor angling he done an impression of Yosser Hughes(showing my age here).

And he took over for a while,while I just sat and watched.But no joy for Rodney either,but he will be on the river next Saturday he informs me,to offer more sterling advice.And it look's like next week is going to be very mild with temperatures up to 15 degrees in the day with plenty of rain.Shame I'm not retired yet,but I will try and get out after work on Wednesday If I can,that's after we stuff Birmingham on Tuesday night in the Carling Cup Semi-Final.

Still as ever nice to be out and in the sun it was very pleasant,so I'll not complain.Now I'll have to start getting the Sunday Roast on for my girls while having a bottle of wine or three.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Happy Anniversary Fatwa World

2011-01-07T16:44:00.017Z

Phew what a great first year for the folk of Barbel Fatwa World,or is it Bitching Fishing World(Thanks for that Deano).Plenty of back slapping and high fives since the board went over from Yuku.But is it for the better ?

Around eight maybe nine years ago, I guess many of us used to post away with gay abandon on where we fished and what we caught.Angling forums were new and vibrant and the share and care was a great blast.After a couple of years though some people myself included started to wise up and shy away from posting our venues.Not because we caught ground breaking fish,but because we value, if you work all week some peace and quiet, at the weekend to get away from the real world.Many people did and still do I would assume,trawl river reports to find out what is coming out and where.

As time moved on the moderation(yes I know it's a thankless task Jon);-),got worse and worse and very specific areas were left for all to see on the river reports.When people had a moan other posters would say......"It's not YOUR river,your selfish for wanting all the fish to yourselves" Insert toss pots icon if you want to.Even the "Gruff" and I used to argue like cat and dog.But he does now agree with me.It was not all the fish we wanted but as I've said before peace and quiet.Is there noting better in angling than arriving at a new venue and getting your walking boots on and finding out for yourself ? So very many want it all on a plate.This is not just a Fatwa world faux pa,but other forums.I had a chuckle in the summer,over a guy on the Cemex forum who wanted some good Tench waters in the Colne Valley.What ? Take your bleeding pick mate!

No I agree with Steve Pope(Who'd have a thought eh Steve);-0,but angling forums have mostly had their day.It's to easy to give away to much.The legend that is Dick Downing once said to me"You have to protect your own fishing".And he was right.Not all forums though as the Pike&Pred forum can be a laugh,as can Pure Piscator. One should not take ones self to seriously on an angling forum,just have a chuckle.Though good 'ol Fatwa gives me a real belly laugh each time I look.So please stay as you are you wonderful, self absorbed, font off all knowledge,bunch of know alls.Not all I may add,but most could start an Internet ruck,on the most daft of questions.Like.......How does Boris swim ?

Now to the Ashes,not an awful lot to be said except my 2-1 bet went down.But I'd rather have done my dough,as I have done and had a 3-1 win as opposed to a 2-2.Well done and I'm looking forward to the Indian and Sri Lanker Tests in the summer.

FA CUP third round weekend to.God I wish I could be at Upton Park, the first round three game I've missed for years.But the Gruff is coming around to Chez Monty in the morning,to do a plumbing job.But needs and must's and all that.I do know that the Bard of BridgEnorth is off to Doncaster tomorrow,as Wolves take on Big Bad Bobs's team .I did hear Bob has hired a box to lay on a spread for the legend that is the Bard.I await the photo's as confirmation over the next few days, if you would be so kind.It should be a good game that and I reckon a Donnie win 4-0 ;-).

It's getting mild now down in the South so all the Boris squad will be playing with there meat late into the night.I hope to grab a few hours out on Sunday,not sure where yet though ?So if your out on the bank this weekend enjoy it.Or even at football have a safe journey to where ever your heading.It's Friday and I'm off for a cupla pints.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Football

2011-01-02T13:55:00.007Z

Now I'm not going to gloat after our win over Wolves yesterday.I was,as I'm sure the Bard of Bridenorth will testify very restrained and did not wind him up to much.A few years back I would have been murder to be truthful.Why ? Because the Premiership is really a load of old bollocks.

I paid 46 quid for a match ticket yesterday,and with beer a bet and food it was a 100 pound day out.As I've said before I gave my season ticket up around six or so years ago as their are to many poxy kick off times .I only really like to go football at 15.00 on a Saturday,give or take the odd midweek game.The days of being able to walk to the Boleyn Ground are long gone and now it takes around ninety minutes.

Were we fortunate yesterday ? Most definitely as watching MOTD this morning you would have thought Wolves were not really in it.But we are both very poor sides and I think the three who will go down are Us,Wolves and Fulham.But does it matter to me,well not a bit.Football for me is now about going and meeting mates who you grew up with.We all started going alone to football from the age of ten years old,after our Dad's took us when we were all younger.So we have known each other and our family's trials and tribulations for a long while.Mates you can depend on if need be.Though looking around the pub yesterday,some should grow up a little and go to bed earlier on New Years Eve.Fourty year old men all moaning and shaking like they were in an ice box.Stay off the narcotics lads and go to bed like I did at ten o'clock.And god was I on form ;-)

So most people I know would like us to go down.As most games in the lower leagues kick off at 15.00 on a Saturday.Sky has really killed the game,and I refuse to pay for it.It's for people who want to sit at home and "Enjoy" the experience of football.What a total load of bollocks that concept is.You can't move in some Premiership grounds for "supporters" taking photos of various players.

Now for us,we have Newcastle away in the week.Then Barnsley at home in the FA CUP on Saturday.And I fancy Barnsley to get a result as we have "Brum" a few days later in the Semi-Final of the worlds biggest Cup competition and our minds will be on that.Then Arsenal at home on the Saturday.After that we do not have a home game at 15.00 hrs on a Saturday until I think March.Now to me that is very,very poor.So if anyone thinks the Premiership is the "Be all and end all",trust me lads it's not.But I guess some of you who go football know that.

Don't get me wrong I'll always love West Ham,it's where I'm from.The club along with most clubs are the fans.Not the owners or players,they come and go.But I fear Sky will just get stronger and stronger.So here is to going down and hopefully getting cheaper tickets in the future,as this is the worst West Ham side I've seen for years and years.And for the "Plastic" fans,who wear the shirts of various clubs and have never been in their lives.Take a look in the mirror,and tell me if you are true Man Utd,Chelsea or Liverpool fans.Na I thought not.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Last Fish Of The Decade

2010-12-31T14:22:00.007Z

I was going to fish today,then I was not.Gruff popped around to Chez Monty's yesterday to have a look at a little plumbing job he is going to do for me,in the next couple of weeks.He also had his stunning six month old Ridgeback "Puppy" with him.And what a lovely dog she is to,made me realise how much I miss the old boy who was put to sleep in April.We, I think are ready soon for another dog.

Gruff had done the rounds and most rivers were still high,cold and just full of crap.So I thought I'd not bother.But I got a call around noon yesterday from a mate who had caught two Barbel from a river near us.It's a chalk stream,that runs off quickly and is normally a fair few degrees warmer than most rivers, owing to warm water that gets pumped in. So I nipped out and bought two pints of gentiles.

Not a real early start today,and I was only going to stay for around three hours.I rigged up with a small feeder,six pound hook length and a size 14 'ook.I had a couple of small Dace early on then it went quiet.I was on the verge of packing up when the quiver tip,jagged around a little then went right round.And I had a fairly spirited scrap from this very silvery,winter conditioned Barbel.I even popped her on the scales and she went 8lbs exactly and to be honest I'm pleased as punch.Bloody muddy out though as you can see from the photo and I hate getting caked in mud,really do.

So that is my last fish,from this decade.What will the next ten years bring ?I will not ask for the earth but just to keep fit and keep fishing.But I've a long standing invitation to go and fish in Montana(Or is that the Montana of my youth),but we will see how the money goes first.I'm also looking to get a light lure outfit in the next month or so,to use on a couple of Crayfish infested rivers.Look's like Lumby will be getting a phone call next week.

And now to a little music to see us into the New Year.Now I understand my musical tastes are not everyone's glass of Malibu (Remember that ?),god what an Essex drink that was/is. But I was very lucky to have been brought up in a home of music.So I like lot's of different genres ,though lean towards my Reggae and Soul.

Now Mrs Monty loves the reality music shows.Where as I do not,being a miserable old sort at times.And we had a right old heated discussion over Christmas about lady soul and jazz performers.For my Mary -J,she loves Angie Stone.To my Aretha,she loves Betty Jackson.Holiday for me,Ella for her.I'm sure you can understand this scenario as you discuss your musical favourites at home.But one thing we both agree on is this lady here.........The late,great and somewhat awkward Nina Simone.I know my parents where at Ronnie Scotts in 1984 when she recorded a live Album.And this song is our all time favourite and as the year passes I think it's very fitting.If your out tonight take care,I'm at home as I will be at Upton Park tomorrow for our game against Wolves.I'm sure Stevo,Jez and Rich know how important the game is. Surprised though that the Yam Yam massive are not making the trip down ;-).

So until next year,I will leave you with this sublime piece of music.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Soon Be Summer

2010-12-29T14:23:00.012Z

Anyone else totally fed up with this weather ? And it's not even January yet,it does seem as though this horrendous cold spell has gone on for an incredibly long time.Most rivers that I fish are full of snow melt at present and look in piss poor condition.But I will cast a line on Friday come what may,as I need too like many I guess.Though in truth I do not expect a vast improvement in conditions as the ground is sodden.Still If I blank I'll not blame "Road Salt",just put it down to poor angling.

I've even phoned up and whisper this........A couple of commercial fisheries,I know I need a good whipping.To maybe try for some Perch but they are still frozen over and they look set to stay that way for a while yet.So here's looking forward to the summer and I'll not next season moan about it being to hot. But I will be looking to keep away from the rivers until the Autumn and just float fish for Tench and other species on a couple of club lakes that I'm looking to join, watching a float around some Lilly pads is something I've missed.Though it's pretty tough to find waters that are not aiming mostly to Carp anglers.Here is a nice summer weir pool on a syndicate I belong to.

What did you get for Christmas from your beloved ? I got the usual,a nice bag of goodies from Clarins.And two books one the latest CSG book and the other by John Gierach,entitled Trout Bum.I like John's books as he writes well.Many compare him to Yates but from across the pond and I'd heartily recommend him to you all.I did not get any angling clothing though and I would have liked some thermals to keep away the chill,though I've always believed you should dress the part when your fishing.Baseball caps and the like are just not cricket in Monty's eyes,it's just so unseemly.I found this today and this chap bares and uncanny resemblance to the "Yorkshire Ninja",Hobby.They could be brothers ;-)That man has the cut and dash of an angling dandy.Now quickly to the Ashes,it has been said elsewhere recently that it's a brave man to back against Australia in their own back yard.But as you know I did,a 2-1 win to England at a nice 9/1.So I hope we draw the next Test.That will pay all next years angling subs,so here's hoping as I've always said........ Fortune favours the brave. I do hope Ricky Ponting has a good match as I like the guy.His a pugnacious and proud man and I'd like to see him go out with a bang,as opposed to the various barbs he is getting at present.Easy to say though,from the position we are in now.I think I'll slip out for a pint or two now as the girls are at the sales, I had a late one last night and I'm still suffering.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Thank You/Merry Christmas

2010-12-22T13:33:00.012Z

Just a very short one now as I guess most of us are pushed for time as the "Big Day"approaches.And after tomorrow I will be off line for a few days.Under the threat of "Go near that pissing blog of yours and your dead,OK babe"What can a man say to a request like that?

Firstly a few thank you's.To everyone who has looked in at my blog since it's inception back in March.To all those I've mocked I'll continue to do so,as I also mock myself.I have had, as I type this 42,446 page views in the last seven months.Not bad really for someone who is just a very average angler.I had to stick up the photo,as a certain individual who shall not be named,think Voldermort,queried If I had really 20,000 back in in the summer.Happy now ;-).But seriously I do hope you find something to amuse you a little.Be it jokes,the odd story or just honest accounts of my angling trips and it's often gross ineptitude.Blanked on Sunday and still have not got that Chub in the snow photo I covert so much.

Special thanks must go out to...........Tony Rocca who suggested I start this back in March as I did not think I had it in me.Being as my grammar and spelling are so poor,I'm a numbers man pure and simple.Thanks for giving me a push old chap.

Yeslling Ying,for the Yat Rock photo's as that is really him up the top.Cheers Butt.

Le Otterman,for his photo shopping skills never a request turned down.

And lastly Big Donnie Kev AKA "The Gruff",for all the running about you do for me.It's very much appreciated mate and I hope we can get out on the bank next week.Plus I want that poxy rod back ;-)These comments must not be read like Halle Berry's Oscar acceptance speech,well maybe just a wee tear.

And that as they say is that.I will leave you all now with my very favourite Christmas Carol of all time.Sung how it should be.

This is Monty Dalrymple,from up high on Yat Rock, wishing you ALL a very Merry Christmas to you and your family's.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part VI

2010-12-17T13:48:00.011Z

What are the chances of seeing these fine fellows out on the bank at any one time ?If I was a betting man I would offer the odds to be very slim indeed.

Here we have The Ewok King of the Wolds, who can be found almost daily chuntering into his beard about the fooking snow this year.And how he and his wife Edith can't wait to get off this infernal earth rock.

And this fine chap of ample girth goes by the fighting name of Fred "I Only Retaliate" Bonney.He can now be found mostly on Fishingmagic, as his days over on Fatwa world are no more.I'm not sure who is more thankful to be honest.I think Fred has a much better deal.:-)

Now to THAT site again.One of the things with this inclement weather is that forum folk are going a little stir crazy.Sure you can't fish but you can go out for a walk? Take some nice photo's ?Read a book? Or go to the pub where I'm off to shortly for a couple of pints.

Or you could get very,very cross that Matt Hayes has the brass neck to charge 500 pounds for a day out fishing with him.You could follow like a heard of Lemmings and moan and groan on Fatwa World.Make yourself look petty and a complete "Lady's Front Bottom".What has it to do with anyone what Matt charges.If people wish to pay it is their money is it not.If Bobby Moore was still alive, I'd pay a hell of a lot more so my old man could have a round of golf with him.People will always moan if they can't afford it,it is jealousy in my eyes pure and simple.

Edward Barders coarse rods are now costing around 1200 quid.Mine cost a grand and I've had it for about two years now.People piss and moan about the cost of his rods.But no one makes you buy them do they ?Some people must though, as his order book is always full and that is no mean feat in these testing economic times.I saved like a madman for mine and done a hell of a lot of overtime.

People make choices with what they wish to do with any spare cash that they may have.But that fucking lot,will still be moaning about everything on mass for years to come.I bet though if Fatwa World were to sell lottery tickets for a day out with Matt, for lets say ten pound a go,that lot would snap them up.You see it's all piss and wind,heard mentality at it's worst.

Rant over.

Enjoy your weekend.

Monty D

Trotting Again

2010-12-11T15:49:00.019Z

I thought I would have another go, running a float down the river again today and I arrived at the water around 07.00 intending to fish through until about 13.00.Nice mild day today with the air temperature around six degrees and did not even feel the need to wear a coat,just the bib&brace with a ruby shirt and a fleece. Obviously the ubiquitous warm hat was needed for those of us who are bald and indeed feel no need to have a comb over to cover this fact.Unlike others and you know who you are gentleman.

I baited a couple of runs with liquidised bread as it did not get light enough to run a float through for another three quarters of an hour.Shit myself a couple of times roaming about in the semi dark,as roosting Pheasants went belting off at all angles made jittery by my head torch.They got their just deserts later though,by the lads who were out shooting.

I've said before on here and to people I know that my "Trotting" skills are probably not as honed as many others.I'm fine on the slower rivers of my youth,with a small stick float.But the more vibrant and fast flowing rivers I struggle a little. Obviously not the Test and Itchen for those Trout and Grayling are a piss easy even for me.

Today I fished bread flake below a large Balsa float,and really enjoyed myself.After a couple of hours I seemed to be getting into the rhythm of things catching a few Dace and just trying different depths and stuff like that.

I also had this lovely Chub,I moved to a swim I baited earlier.Went a little over depth and more or less bounced the bait past a over hanging hawthorn bush.The float went under first time and a great scrap on light line and the 'Pin.Quite and odd shape this one and I reckon it may have munched on a few Crayfish in it's time ?So all in all an enjoyable few hours after the last few blank trips and it's nice to get the rod bent.I'm also due on the Hampshire Avon on Thursday all being well on the weather front.Not sure what to fish for now,Pike,Chub or Roach.

Moving onto Roach and anglers who REALLY know how to run a float through a swim,if you have not got this book it's a good read and by John Searle and friends.His second book after A Brush With The Avon.

I got this last Christmas from a mate of mine.Some of the Roach in this book will make you drool,and then some.Some great Roach anglers passing on their views,a mate recently had the pleasure of watching Dave Howes fishing and said he had never seen angler run a float through like it.Elegance personified were the words he crooned,or was that swooned ?

Now it's time for a wee dram I reckon.

Be Lucky

Monty D

A Lads Christmas

2010-12-09T17:37:00.011Z

Jamie awoke early on Christmas Eve and looked out of his bedroom window,the snow was still laying in the valley that covered his Farthers farm.He thought I'll have a couple of hours Chub fishing before coming back home to enjoy the festivities.

He dressed and went down into the kitchen and grabbed a crusty fresh loaf that his Mother had recently baked. Shouldered his tackle and stepped out the back door.The cold took his breath away,but once he started off to the river he knew he would soon warm up.

His Farther was working and called out "No later than three o'clock OK son"."Yes Dad" replied Jamie and he was off across the farm land and down to the river.It looked cold and totally uninviting from an anglers perspective.Enough to chill even the most keen of fisherman.

Where will the fish be today he thought ?He walked the river and settled in swim that had an old Willow tree with it's bent limbs trailing in the water.That is where the Chub would be today he thought.He put in two small balls of liquidized bread and tackled up.

He cast out a large lump of crust that settled on the rivers crease.Time went very quickly as it always does when your fishing and no action had been forthcoming.He was now getting cold and decided on one last cast.Putting on a large lump of crust,the bait landed softly and fluttered under the Willow tree branches.

Jamie did not have time sit back,and the tip pulled around.He struck and was into a good fish,he could feel the line grating on the underwater roots.But slowly he was winning the battle,a little like the Old Man and the Sea.Ready for netting then.........."Oh Christ" for Jamie had forgotten his landing net in the haste to get on the river.

He then heard a voice"Need a hand young man ?"Jamie turned to see another angler behind him."Yes please" he stammered. The older angler used his net and the mighty Chub was swept into the safety of the mesh first time.

"Wow" they both said in unison.Jamie weighed this leviathan and it went an ounce over 5lbs.A new personnel best.He then set up his camera for a celebratory photo,and wanted the other angler in it also,as in Jamie's eyes it was his too.Photo's taken and Jamie packed up quickly as it was soon time to be home.

The two anglers walked across the meadow chatting as anglers do like life long friends,and when they arrived at the farm gate,Jamie thanked the angler for his help and bid him farewell.He raced inside and regaled his parents of his days angling and his new found friend.

"Now son" said his Farther."Not a soul has crossed our land today"."It's true" said Jamie and he raced up the stairs to print out the photo of his prize.His parents put it all down to youthful exuberance and the excitement of Christmas.

Jamie came running back down to his parents,holding his prize aloft.His parents were dumb struck.For as well as Jamie and the Chub,also in the photo was Jamie's late Grandfather.They all raced outside and looked longingly down the lane,but of course there was not a sight nor sound to be heard.

"Let's get back inside as it's cold" said Jamie's Farther.Jamie looked back down the lane and shouted"Merry Christmas Granddad" and on the breeze as the snow began anew came very softly"And to you dear boy and to you".

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part V

2010-12-06T16:52:00.006Z

What are the chances of ever seeing these two fine and somewhat stout fellows on the bank at any one time ?I'll wager not an awful lot to be honest.

Here we have Bolton funny man Peter Kay,trying to cast a Dry Flay,and making a hash of it.

And this chap here is Conrad Farlow,all round softly spoken gent from Barnsley who happens to be a whopping 45 today,not stone I hasten to add.Happy Birthday though mate and hope it's a nice evening for you both ;-0.

Also I have been getting a fair bit of stick over the photo below.This is actually MY advent calender,that my Mum sends me every year.Do I need to grow up now I'm getting on in life and not covert such things ?Not in my eyes,I love Christmas and I still open up the window every morning when I get up.No chocolates in this one this year though:-(

Lastly still cold here, but lets hope the rain holds off tonight in Adelaide so we can get the Aussies out and win the this Test Match.But It's looking wet I'm afraid and that will be a royal kick in the bollocks.

Be Lucky

Monty D

96 Degrees In The Shade

2010-12-04T11:01:00.005Z

Well not quite to be honest but the temperature has turned much milder over night and the snow has started to melt.I decided yesterday I would have a couple of hours trotting for Dace today and bought some gentiles on the way home.

A little stream I can walk to was the venue,as I did not want to venture far as the snow is much deeper at a couple of my more regular venues.And with the words of Arthur Daley ringing in my ears "Monty,the world is your lobster my son" I set off just before first light.

And you can say my lobster was well and truly cooked.Not a bite to be had and in truth did not really expect much action.But like many other anglers we all need our weekly fix or we get damn right miserable.Well I do anyhow and I only saw one other angler and that was a Heron,who every time I crept near with a camera,flew away laughing.

Just a couple of little photo's from this morning.

With the snow melt under way,at least in the south you can in the coming week look forward to a couple of threads you know where,like this............"Does road salt put off the Boris" or "Will the Boris now start to feed" and maybe "Am I a sad twat for sitting at home".

Now to the real 96 Degrees in the Shade....

I love this song,very political and inspired by the Morant Bay Rebellion from 1865,that led to the hanging of Paul Bogle.It has a thumping base line to.With a little luck I'll be back in Jamaica next year visiting some of Mrs Monty's family.Not been over for a few years now and I love the place and the people.Her family reside in Manderville in the middle of the island,it's very lush and steamy.It's not known as the land of wood and water for nothing,away from the tourists also.

I'll now best get my self together and go and do some Christmas shopping for my girls.May even have a couple of pints of Old Peculiar while I'm out to warm the soul.Enjoy your weekend what ever you do.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part IV

2010-12-01T15:54:00.006Z

Have you ever seen these two fine fellows below on the bank at the same time ? The chances are very,very slim that you will to be honest.

This here is intergalactic star force one,saving the world to infinity and beyond Mr.Buzz Light Year.And can the man do the Tango,what a pair of swivel hips.

And this fine fellow is all round specimen hunter Mr.Chris "The Pons" Ponsford.Often found creeping about on the Teme,playing Barbel on Youtube and managing to take product placement to a whole new level,by mentioning Korum every second breath ;-)

Anyway now the important stuff........

Upton Park last night was absolutely freezing and to be honest I did not fancy us to get a result.But old Red Nose decided to rest a good few players and in truth we totally deserved to win as comfortable as we did.

The atmosphere was like the night games of old.And it will be a huge mistake to move to the Olympic Stadium,it's just to large for a medium size club like us.Even if we were "flying",we would never really top 45,000 and that's being optimistic.Move the pitch over towards the West Side,and redevelop the East Stand and keep "The Chicken Run" in some guise.

I'm glad Spector had a blinder last night and he should have got MOTM,in my eyes as the lad has never scored prior to last night in 189 games and then get's two.I just hope we avoid Arsenal in the Semi-Finals as we will struggle to beat them over two legs.But in a one off game,then who knows ?

I still do not think it will "Kick Start" our season though as we are a poor side.And last night is best stored in the memory bank,as one to look back on.We play Man U at our gaff on the 11th of December and I'm sure it will be a totally different game.But today I'll just gloat,very softly as is my way ;-)

Getting home was a royal pain in the 'arris because of the huge amount of snow that has fallen near Chez Monty.A whole five inches and the South East comes to a standstill.And EVERYONE knew it was on it's way.

Still I'll not grumble today.

Be Lucky

Monty D

We're Spamming

2010-11-28T18:37:00.010Z

Blimey I see the AoBF(Association of Barbel Fishers) may have ruffled a few feathers ? Firstly dear old Fred gets reprimanded about "Spamming Up" Barbel Fatwa World.Then good lord the big guns are out on parade offering confessional,at the Papal throne.What do I think? Do you really care ?

If you put a gun to my head(I'm sure one or two would like to) and asked me who should you join I would suggest if you want to fish the Trent.Then join the BS for it's lovely and gorgeous, intimate stretch of the Trent at Sutton-On- Sea.Lovely place not to far removed from "Dungy" on the Kent coast and similar tactics needed.

If you feel the need to just dip your toe in, in these heady days of Barbel groups try the AoBF.Some good guys and very little in the way of "Plug my Guiding" or "Book a day out with me".Or just go fishing and forget the single species myopia that seems so prevalent today .

"Oh we're Spamming,Spamming in the name of my lord"

"Oh we're Spamming and I hope you like Spamming to"

"His rule will not last,times going very fast"

"I and I will see it through"....

With apologies to Robert Nesta Marley for the above.

Lord a mercy,what a ting a 'gwan in Internet land again.

Monty D

Minus Four

2010-11-27T14:06:00.008Z

That was the air temperature when the Gruff and I arrived at the river today at first light for a few hours Perch fishing.Wrapped up like a good'un to keep out the cold and off we went me upstream and Gruff downstream.

I tackled up and settled in a swim I've caught from before and sat on the mat and cast out.Then the phone went and it was Gruff.

"I've forget me landing net"So back I traipse a good mile or so from where I started and we had no choice but to fish near each other.It happens to us all I suppose when you get as old as Gruff.I fished a link ledger with lob worms and Gruff used a float and tried out his new 'Pin a wide drum Speedia he got for a very good price.Nice reel that and it would have looked better on the bit of cane I was using,as opposed to his carbon contraception ;-)

Now even though it was minus four,it did not feel really cold as there was not a breath of wind.Though the line was freezing in the rings all the time. Apologies for the slight blurry image but I got a new camera in the week and did not have time to read the instructions,though "techy" stuff makes my mind boggle being so 'fick

But the fish as I expected decided not to play today,so it was a blank for us both.The Crayfish were mostly on good behaviour and with the cold spell in for a while hopefully they will stop all together,and the fish begin to get used to these conditions and come back on the feed.We did though have this little chap on the bank.

Gruff and I had a little word in his shell like,and then Gruff walked his new found friend downstream and let him go.We packed up a little before noon as by now the wind had picked up and it was colder than at first light.And with no bites between us we headed for home.

Nice few hours though,always is when your fishing.

Monty D

Doppelgängers of the Angling World Part Three

2010-11-26T15:26:00.007Z

Ever seen these two people on the bank side together ?I doubt you will to be honest.

Two Fridays back I was in the local,the Yat Rock Arms having a few pints of Butty Bach and just relaxing with a couple of non angling mates, after another week of hard graft.Talking as you do about this and that when I took a call on the Yat Phone.........

YY"Mate I think your on the BFW home page Monts"

MD"Bollocks am I,your mad"

YY" No honest mate I think it's you"

So I whipped out the I-phone that I carry for emergencies and came across this photo below entitled "Mark Coles Kennet PB of 12.6"By now the text messages had also been coming through thick and fast.

The top one is apparently Mark Coles.

And this one here is actually Monty D.

I had been royally stitched up by my friends at BFAMWE.My head has been photo shopped onto the body of "Howsie" and tweaked a bit.This fish is not mine and it is not from the Kennet at all.But an old Great Ouse fish from some years back,before the Otters.I'd also point out I do not wear eye shadow,well only at home xx.

Now some phone calls were made by me over the weekend,and behind stifled laughs the guys denied all knowledge.So these people are now on my hit list.........

Yesling Ying

Gruff

Le Otterman

Howsie

Bard of Bridgenorth.

If you look at the hands on the photo at the head end,you can see It's been photo shopped and the silly hat.But it stayed on the Fatwa World homepage all week.A great coup for the lads at BFWAMWE.I doff my cap as I was royally stitched up,but you lot know you will get it back and double ;-).What next I ask myself ?

I'll be out on the river in the morning from first light until about noon after a few Perch,I hope the cold has slowed the Crayfish right down.I'm not to expectant on the catching front though as it has got bloody cold.But fortune favours the brave etc etc.

As it's Friday I'm now off for a cupla pints.And if you are out on the bank wrap up warm kiddywinks,but you never know you may catch the fish of your dreams.

Be lucky

Monty D

PS Le Otterman is on the piss already and some of us remember the conversations we had with him last Friday night.Turn your phones off guys,you know it makes sense.

The Ashes

2010-11-24T16:05:00.004Z

Well in a little under eight hours the 2010/2011 Ashes contest starts between two great sporting rivals.I love any sporting contest when we play the Aussies.Sport has to elate and deflate in equal measure in my eyes or there is no point.And there is little better than beating Australia in there own country.

I've backed England to retain the Ashes 2-1 at a price of 9/1 for a little additional flavour.Not a big bet though as maybe my heart is ruling my head.

Some great Ashes quotes......."Hey Tufnell lend us your brain I'm building and idiot".This from a Aussie spectator.And one of my favourites from the 1922/23 Body Line Tour, English skipper Douglas Jardine claimed he was being sworn at.Aussie Skipper Bill Woodfull"Which of you bastards,called this bastard a bastard ?" I'm sure only a few of us remember the infamous Body Line Tour. Messrs Truscott and Osbourne I reckon.

So I'll have to set the alarm for around 04.00 for the next few days prior to going to work to catch some of the Test Match Special,on the wireless .Test Match Special is superb and "Tuffers and Aggers" are a great double act.In the spring I was listening to England and Bangladesh from Lords and Tuffers was heard to say...."Mike Gatting has just walked into the commentary box,someone lock the fridge quick"

You do not get that on Sky!.

Good luck England and bring 'em home.

Monty D

Damp November

2010-11-20T17:10:00.009Z

Had a nice day today on the river even though the sky was leaden and everything was shrouded in what seemed an Autumn gloom.A typical damp November day that seems to seep right into me.Stopped on route and popped into Tadley Angling Center and picked up a few bits and also this new book out by Martin James.Only a "Pony" that's twenty five pounds sterling for those of you who do not know.

Now I've obviously not read it but had a quick flick through and it's not short on pages.367 to be precise and Martin makes a donation on every book sold to the ABF the soldiers charity.Nice touch that and I'll have a little look later,as the PAC magazine arrived in the post today and that needs reading too.Quickly back to Tadley Angling,now I'm sure many of us use this shop at various times ?But I've yet to meet a more pleasant tackle shop owner,and his bait is always spot on.Compared to some of my more local shops.If you are over that way and have never made a visit,please do so.You will be offered a cup of tea also or if you are from "Yam Land" like the Bard,it will be a "Kippa Tie".

The river was low and clear today,as the recent frosts had knocked all the colour out of it so I decided to roam about for Chub. Noting fancy or technical at all to be fair,lob worms or crust fished on link ledger weighted with two,three SSG weights.Size 8 hook and a 6lb pound hook length.Quiver tip rod made by Mark Tunley and that was it.

Looking at the river you could be forgiven to think it was devoid of fish, nothing showed at all.So I just dropped baits into various holes near any cover I could find.I ended up with a few Chub to about 4lbs and plenty of these little devils.I did have a couple taken off by Pike in two swims that I fished.And that's one in the memory bank for maybe next week.I don't know about you but with the weather being so changeable of late,I cannot even begin to think about starting a proper CAMPAIGN for one species.

I still can't find those large Chub yet though ,but I can't complain today really as I got the rod bent and I've been on the bank and only saw one other angler.To me that's a good day to be honest,and roll on next Saturday.

Monty D

Friday Already

2010-11-19T05:48:00.003Z

Grabbed a few hours on the river after work yesterday,as it's got fairly mild over the last few days. Hoping for a Barbel to come along and take a bit of interest,but I only managed one small Chub.Even though I was on the bank at around 16.00 and fished through until about 19.30.Most of the trees have shed their leaves now,so that was a pain in the 'Arris,not sure what to fish for on Saturday ?The rivers are carrying a some fair colour so I may try a different river for Barbel,though it's frosty outside Chez Monty as I type this.Still as the Gruff once said"You'll catch nowt sat at 'ome ya miserable bugger".Quick photo of yesterday's swim,as you can see I've tweaked it a little.

Moving on swiftly make sure you seek out Novembers Coarse Angling Today,as Monty and his mate Yessling Ying,tell a few tales from this season.The jobs a good 'un as they say.

Well It's Friday and as ever I'm off for a cupla pints.Well not really as I'm off to work but you can pretend I've done this blog entry in the afternoon,OK ?So if you are on the bank over the weekend take care.Looking again at forum land,folk are even asking what Gloves to buy for the winter.So people like that may need telling it's slippery and unsafe at times.How about though you really go wild guys and walk into a tackle shop and make an informed decision ?I mean what Gloves,FFS.

Oh and the BS Auction has just started again and it's a great cause.The lads have had a large "Whip 'raand" and got enough cash together so a BS member can bid for a day out with Steve Pope,for both Mike Oz and Mike Berridge.I know,I know guy's I can see the tears in your eyes from Yat Rock.But we feel your worth every penny.

Be Lucky

Monty D

Doppelgängers Of The Angling World Part Deux

2010-11-17T16:45:00.004Z

Has anyone ever seen these two gents on the river bank at the same time ?

The one below is Tom H,all round Barbel nut case who was out earlier in the week at night when it was -4.Fair play to you mate,but in the words of Stef Horak,bollocks to that. But I'll be back out after work tomorrow as well as the weekend as it's now ten days without casting a line,and I'm getting grouchy.But I have to admire your drive.;-)

This chap below is Phil Jupitas,not as funny as he thinks he is, a little like me to be honest.But as he is a season ticket holder at Upton Park he 'aint a bad lad.

Lastly a shame it was a poor turn out at the Wilts BS meeting last night,with Martin Bowler giving a talk.I've spotted from Yat Rock only around 28 stout fellows turned out.That's not good enough guy's,as Martins talks are really good.

Monty D.

Whitehall Today

2010-11-14T13:48:00.009Z

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses,row on row,

That mark our place out;in the sky,

The larks,still bravely singing fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below

We are the Dead.Shot Days ago

We lived,felt dawn,sawn sunset glow,

Loved,and were loved,and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with our foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch,be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die,

We shall not sleep,though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

The garden of remembrance at Westminster Abbey where I put two crosses one for my Great Grandfather who fought at the Somme and Ypres in the first world war.And also for my Grandfather who was in the second world war.John Johnson 1895-1994 and Johnny Johnson 1922-1999.

I've been going for years now and it's a very special and moving day.The masses start to fall silent around 10.50 and when the guns go off and Big Ben Chimes you can hear a pin drop.I could not get any photos today of the guys and gals marching past, as my normal vantage point just by Churchill's statue in Parliament Square has been fenced off.As the tent city that homes the anti war folk has been moved near by.Who coincidently did not mutter a word during the two minutes silence.

It's one of the things this country does so well.The "Pomp and Circumstance" and I'm sure everyone who attended there local war memorials felt the same.

Monty D

Spotted Today From Yat Rock

2010-11-12T15:09:00.006Z

Good lord there is some major moaning going on in "Forum Land" at present over Robson Green and his so called angling programme.Now I'll be honest I have never seen Robson's angling show as he is one of those actors I do not enjoy watching.Remember Soldier,Soldier ? Yes it was the absolute pits in my eyes. So I avoid anything with him in at all costs.

But people I assume do have an on/off button on their huge plasma screens,so why watch it, if it offends your sensibilities so much, you have a choice.A bit like reading most of the drivel I post up on here.No one makes you read it.

Some class comments...."His a knobba who can't fish"."Mr.Green cast like a ponce",obviously never seen Conrad then ;-).No lads turn it off I beseech thee and stop getting hot under the collar so much on the forums.

Only one Geordie would do a good angling show and it is this legend here.The man broke the mould in so many ways.Least of all how some of us of a certain age should act around women.I for one have not looked back since.

Also today I spotted this........A naked man arrested breaking into a house had a computer mouse stuck up his backside.Noah Smith,25,was taken to hospital after cops used a Taser gun,pepper spray and a baton to restrain him.Shocked docs who X-rayed him found the mouse lodged in his rectum.Smith,of Sencea,South Carolina,told them he had no idea how it got there ?

Which begs the question "How many Arseholes out their are wielding a mouse ?"I of course include myself in that.

Well it's Friday I'm now off for a cupla pints.So if you are out on the bank this weekend may you catch the fish of your dreams.I'll be at the Rugby on Saturday and paying my respects at Whitehall on Sunday.So no fishing for me until next week.

Be Lucky.

Monty D